appointment with consultant after 4th degree tear...extremely scared! what questions do i need to ask

[kittenbaby]

hi im dreading my apointment with consultant on thu about my 4th degree tear in childbirth

anyone thats been though this
what questions should i ask

this is what ive thought of so far

1. why do you think this happened
   
2. could of it been avoided
   
3. how will it effect me in the future
   
4. future children cs or vaginal
   
5. when will i stop being in pain
   
6. when will i stop having nightmares over this ?[could be difficult to answer ,i know]
   
   
   can you think of any others

[kittenbaby]

any ideas?

[LiegeAndLief]

Hi kittenbaby, I don't have any experience of this but didn't want you to go unanswered. Your questions all sound very sensible, if you feel traumatised maybe you could ask whether the hospital offers postnatal conselling or listening service? Also maybe write your questions down so that you get all the answers you want and don't forget anything. Good luck, I hope it goes well.

[kittenbaby]

thanks 4 taking the time to reply to mexxx

[mumzyof2]

bump

[F1ona]

Poor you. Hope all goes well. Ask about physio, it really helped me.

[kittenbaby]

thank you so much for all your help and advice , it really does help
my appointment is tomorrow

watling it happened 11 weeks ago today

[SoupDragon]

Good luck for tomorrow. I had a 3rd degree tear with DS1 but "only" 2nd degree (at the most) with DS2 and DD.

I had a delightful ultrasound scan to assess the strength of the repair. I did not ask for a photo to take away . (it was absolutely fine really, I just closed my eyes and pretended it wasn't happening)

[kittenbaby]

thank you so much to everyone that took the time and replied to me

just wanted to let you know how it went
i was so scared i was feeling sick and crying it was v painful and i was very sore but at least ive stopped feeling sick

hopefully ill be ok now the consultant said that theres a lot of scar tissue there which will be painful for me esp when having sex etc [ i dont know yet as im too scared to try or even be touched tbh ] but that the muscle tone was very good, said he'd give the muscle tone 10 out of 10 which is good as thats whats important continence wise
he askeed me how many children i had and if i wanted anymore at this point i also staring crying again [ bet he thought oh god we've got a right on here lol]
i said well i only ever wanted one or two so im not sure
he said if i do have anymore children i should have a cs
which i already ben told by the main surgeon that did the reconstruction/repair operation
and my gp
so this wasnt a suprise that the consultant also said this to me,but kinda made me feel a bit sad and worried
but i dont really know why

he could say why he thought this had happened
but as dh there scared to tell u if anything did go wrong incase you sue them

thanks for so so so much for all your support it helped so much when i was sooo scared

love kitten baby

[NoNameToday]

Thanks for letting us know how things went kittenbaby and I'm pleased that you're reassured.

Good luck for the future.

[kittenbaby]

thanks noname
im sure you dont realise just how much you have help me

but ur a star xxxxxxxxxx