Can you insist on an induction for non medical reasons?

[Pondlife87]

I am due on the 18th May. My husband is self employed in a job which he works at a different school paying him or each individual day.
He has booked off 18th May to the 3rd June hoping baby will come about on time.
However we are both realistic enough to know that baby may very well come early or late. If she comes early there is really nothing to be done, however if she is late can we request an induction early for non medical reasons?

I have spoken to my midwife about sweeps and inductions and he seemed to be pushing me away from the idea of induction. He agreed to do a membrame sweep at 39w 5d to try and induce natural birth, but was very avoidant of the induction question.

I understand that inductions are expensive and unideal, but if my husband is back at work it will be very difficult for him to take much time off. Of course he will be off during the labour and immediately after, but he couldn't take much time off as 1. He wouldn't get paid and 2. cancelling on schools would badly damage his professional reputation.

I am a first time Mum and really anxious about something going wrong and needing surgery, and therefore struggling on my own afterwards. All of my friends and family work full time, except my Mum who is currently going through cancer treatment. So I don't want to put on her! IF the birth goes well I am sure everything will be manageable. My real concern is needing surgery (C section/ tearing) and then being on my own.

Can I insist on an induction for social reasons, or is it up to the hospital? I may not even go down this path, I am just interesting in knowing all of my options.

[LadyPenelope68]

No, you cant insist on an induction for those reasons! It's not going to ruin his reputation as you describe it if he's off due to his wife having a baby, what a ridiculous suggestion.

[TrixieFranklin]

This isn't serious, surely?

[stucknoue]

No, babies don't fit neatly into work patterns. Ask anyone with a partner in the armed forces or who work offshore. My husband missed the birth of our first due to this. Even having a sweep is probably more than protocol allows. But some babies come early, mi e came on her due date!

[ems137]

Yes, you can ask. I knew someone who asked but it was because her DH was in the forces and due to be deployed a week after her due date and she didn't have much other support. However, it would really depend on your consultant. It's not a great reason to be asking to be honest just because he needs to be back at work in a school. It's not like he's going away or would miss the birth is it?

[ems137]

My DH missed the birth of our youngest and usually had less than a week off paternity leave anyway. You just get on with it

[Pondlife87]

@LadyPenelope68 - OK fair, it may not ruin his reputation, but it would likely leave the door open for his competition to be booked instead, meaning he won't be booked by them in future. But the other part of it is I'm on SMP, he doesn't get paid over summer at all (as has no work with schools not being open), so we would be incredibly strapped financially.

@TrixieFranklin - Why is it so surprising to you that this may be serious? I know it's not a traditional reason and I do know I am an incredible anxious person. But I don't think it's completely ridiculous to suss out any option available to me. I'm not trying to be argumentative, I genuinely want to know your reasoning.

[Hereshopingforimprovement]

Even if you could why would you? I was induced for medical reasons and if I had another child I would be very reluctant to allow induction again. I wish I'd pushed to wait longer. It was a horrible experience.

[hsegfiugseskufh]

no I don't think so, and I would strongly recommend avoiding an induction unless you absolutely have to have one.

They are unpleasant at best. My labour came on VERY FAST after being induced, it was very painful very quickly because it didn't build naturally. I went from no pain to literally pushing a baby out in less than 2 hours. You might think this sounds appealing but it wasn't. No time to compose myself, no time for any pain relief at all and I gave birth on induction suite where they were not prepared for the birth of a baby.

[TowelNumber42]

No. Your situation is just normal life for many people. Loads of women don't have the dad available for two weeks of helpful paternity leave right when the baby is born.

This should reassure you. People manage. If things are difficult then, yes, it will be difficult but you'll be fine. Really. You'll be fine.

[AudacityOfHope]

Inductions before you/the baby is ready are really likely to fail and lead to interventions and c-sections.

I was induced at 38 weeks due to high BP and I was in labour for 49 painful hours before being taken to theatre when my baby's heartbeat started dropping.

You really don't want that: you'll be better to work around your baby rather than expect it to be the other way around.

[Pondlife87]

@ems137 - Thank you for your reply. I completely agree it isn't the best option and I don't really think I want to do it, but I just want to know what my options potentially could be. I think if my midwife has explained to me why it wasn't a great idea I would have felt more settled, but he just brushed it off without any mention of it really.
I think being a FTM I have no idea what to expect, so I'm probably dramatising everything in my head and assuming the worst! I know millions of people just get on with it and I know if I have no choice this is what I will have to do.
I just genuinely wondered if this was something that could be requested as an option.

[Mummyoftwo91]

My friend was induced she was in hospital just under a week before she went into labour and her partner wasn't allowed to stay, it's not as simple as turning up to be induced and ur baby magically appearing

[Pondlife87]

Thank you to the people pointing out the negatives of inductions. This is what I needed to know from some first hand experiences (although I am sorry you had these awkward times)!
If the likelihood of needing surgical intervention increases with induction, then it really defeats the purpose of my concern in the first place. I appreciate your replies and I am well and truly put off. It will be raspberry leaf tea and essential oils for me.
And you are right - I will be fine! I need to stop overthinking it all.
Thank you!

[Pondlife87]

awful not awkward*

[Mummyoftwo91]

But honestly op you will be fine! You will manage

[LaMarschallin]

It doesn't strike me as a good idea.
I do see what you mean about his job (I know that, unfortunately, some jobs are like that) and that it would be nicer if he was there and around for a few days after it.
However, the best end result is to end up with a healthy baby and mother and an unnecessary induction may cause complications. Unlikely, I know, but why risk it? Especially since you're already anxious about something going wrong.
I'd also feel very suspicious about the ethics of a doctor/midwife who would agree to perform an induction in these circumstances.
Sorry. I realise this may not be the sort of reply you were hoping for.

[Dancingbea]

I had 2 elective inductions. They were fine. Would do it again.

[TowelNumber42]

Google induction stories. It will put you right off that as an idea.

Most births left to their own devices are normal, easy affairs. You want to avoid the "cascade of medical interventions" (google it) unless it is properly medically necessary to start down that path.

If anything, if your anxiety is abnormally high, thus putting you at risk of post natal depression, the midwife might recommend you for an elective caesarian on mental health grounds.

Your best option by far is just letting the baby gestate normally and for your body to prepare normally to give birth. I wouldn't even have a sweep. For a good outcome let your body do its thing in its own time.

[Thesnobbymiddleclassone]

We had the same problem with DD1

The answer is no.

Inductions won't be done before 42 weeks normally unless it's an emergency of medical reason.

[LaMarschallin]

Sorry, OP. I take so long to preview and post that I x- posted with you and others.
You've had loads of good advice already and from those with first hand experience so don't need my wittering.
Good luck and hope it goes well.

[Newyearnewunicorn]

My DP was with me for the birth and went back to work hours after. It was fine not ideal but certainly manageable and I did end up with a c section.

[TowelNumber42]

What was your mum's experience of childbirth? It seems daughter's births often go the same way. Did your mum have easy births?

[AudacityOfHope]

Towel how could that really be true? There are tons of factors that influence each labour, what's my mum's experience 40 years ago got to do with my labours?

Just so as not to terrify you OP, my second induction was brilliant so they're not always awful - but first time inductions, especially early inductions, are often much harder.

[Teddybear45]

Your DH needs a better job. I earn £150k and work with managers who earn up to triple or quadruple this - they still managed to take 8 weeks paternity leave (plus holiday) without any damage to their reputation.

[AudacityOfHope]

Yeah OP, just get your husband to get a job that pays upwards of 150k, the lazy git.

This place sometimes