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Pregnancy

Immature partner

13 replies

Emsi00 · 04/12/2018 15:07

So I told my partner I was 5 weeks and he went off, wants to go on his lads holidays and was nasty.

Now I have tried to speak to him and he's too busy to see me, too busy to talk..

Im in shock he reacted like this, generally crushed me.

Any advice on what to do next?

OP posts:

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physicskate · 04/12/2018 15:14

Seriously think about why you want to parent with this person as your partner.

What's best for you and this pregnancy? Any resultant child?

It might just take him awhile to come round to the idea. What an ass though - it takes two to make a baby.

Incidentally, have you read why unplanned pregnancies are a man's fault?? Your post suggests this wasn't planned...

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iforgotwhatiwasgoingtosay · 04/12/2018 15:31

The news probably shocked him, give him a little space, its a big responsibility and even though it would be nice to have celebrated together sometimes they just need to get their head around it. Mine did the same the night after I found out he went out for dinner and drinks with his friends and barely spoke to me! I completely flew off the handle but now I realise that I got my head around it in the 45 minutes I sat in the bathroom staring at the positive test, it just took him a little longer. We are now 17 weeks along and both so excited!

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Sexnotgender · 04/12/2018 16:37

He sounds like quite the catch!

Why do you want to have a child with him

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Emsi00 · 04/12/2018 16:48

The child's mind, whether he's involved or not, he was so nice and genuine then suddenly changed and I thought it would be good, like he said he wanted to settle down then he went off... like I said he's ruined it and he's like no I'm just busy, but he clearly is trying to avoid me. At the end of the day the baby is still apart of me and will be loved endlessly by my family and myself so it's his loss just broke my heart 😔

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Emsi00 · 04/12/2018 16:58

Mine* I just think like he will regret it in time when he has nothing x

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Emsi00 · 09/12/2018 22:28

UPDATE: so I have blocked him on everything as he never came to the scan and never turned up to discuss the next steps. He continues to ignore my texts and refuses to see me.. just struggling to move on as I won't be meeting anyone for a long time now I'm pregnant :(

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Angryashell · 10/12/2018 14:46

This must be hard but he obviously doesn’t want the baby. Just get focused on the pregnancy and you being well. Unfortunately guys will sleep with women and even live with them if it’s convenient without having any long term future plans for that woman. Baby just makes it real and they run. Hope you have lots of support.

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ShanAmanda · 10/12/2018 17:17

My partner went away on a lads holiday just a week after I found out I was pregnant; most of that week he ignored me and him did talk to me it was to tell me he was busy. It didn't get much better once he was home, and he even asked me if I thought that having a baby was the 'right' thing to do. Needless to say we're 6 months into our pregnancy and I don't really get a look in anymore... he's helping buy everything and wants to be involved with it all. He might just be thrown off by it or a complete idiot. Give him time and decide 💕

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Babdoc · 10/12/2018 17:26

Did he actually want a baby, or was this a contraceptive failure?
If it was unplanned, he will probably be in a state of shock. You can’t expect him to be thrilled about it - you’ll just have to wait and see if he comes round to the idea, but he may not.
At the very least, he must contribute financially for the next 18 years. This is his child just as much as yours, and he has to take responsibility for it.
Are you sure you want to have this baby, given that you may have to raise it alone? Would it help to discuss your options with a counsellor before going ahead?

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sherrysfortea · 10/12/2018 17:29

How did you get yourself in a position where you are having a child with him??? Was it planned???

Whether he likes it or not he will have to face up to his responsibilities.

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Emsi00 · 10/12/2018 18:10

Thank you everyone, I know I don't really need him as I've got my mum with me and I'll probably get more support without him then I would living with him, it was a shock but his parents are saying he can't be apart of any of it, he's 23? I just feel as if he's acting immature so probably doing me a favour x

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NiceViper · 10/12/2018 18:27

He's not going to come round to it.

OP said she told him at 5 weeks, and he's been off with her since and didn't come to scan (12 weeks, one assumes, as no complications mentioned). He' said had about 7 weeks to get used to the idea, and he isn't remotely likely to change his mind now.

So the best thing you can do no OP is prepare for single parenthood in a ll practical ways. But do tell him when his child is born and do ensure he supports his child financially