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Sick of people telling me my bump is too big!

(27 Posts)
Pammi Wed 20-Jun-07 21:31:12

Hi,

I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my second child and have a fairly large bump. I started showing very quickly and my bump has been big for some time. My first pregnancy was exactly the same and my baby wasn't enormous, I just had loads of amniotic fluid. I am sick and tired of people, all mothers themselves, going on and on about the size of my bump every time I see them at play groups, etc. as if I'm abnormal. I'm healthy, the baby is healthy and everyone is different. Am I just being over-sensitive or are people just plain rude?! Apart from anything else it's really boring too. It's getting to the stage where I'm finding it hard to be polite back to them

NikkiBFG Wed 20-Jun-07 21:32:53

I know - I used to get loads of comments on my bump and after a while it gets really wearing doesn't it!! Try to remember that people mean well most of the time though...a tired grin and a resigned 'I know' from me used to do the trick without me sounding too rude!

Ecmo Wed 20-Jun-07 21:37:03

I had the opposite...I remember going into Marks and Spencer to be measured for a bra and the woman saying to me...oh I think you'd better come back when you're nearer you due date the size will be different then...then she asked me when I was due and I said....next week...she measured me then!!....small bump small boobs

mumoftwoangels Wed 20-Jun-07 21:47:52

I had the same. From about 26 weeks onwards people (whether i knew them or not) would start to say 'not long now!'. After a few weeks got fed up with it. I would just say "oh this (patting tummy) no its just a few extra pounds!". It was worth it for the embarrased look on their faces.

AlistairSim Wed 20-Jun-07 21:51:36

I ended up telling people it was all trapped wind and they better stand back.

Do not smile when you say this.

maisym Wed 20-Jun-07 21:51:50

I have this - I have a big front and am bigger all over plus look red in the face when I'm at school collecting my other kids and have my 1yr to carry. Just annoys me how people feel free to comment - ahhhh

Stay strong. When they say you look hot & bothered I say nope just feel fine. When they ask when I'm due I say any day now!!!! (I'm due in october!!

whomovedmychocolate Wed 20-Jun-07 21:53:04

It is rude and yes you are right to be annoyed. Isn't it amazing how being pregnant makes you public property!

...and don't get me started on the bump rubbers!

BetsyBoop Wed 20-Jun-07 21:53:38

I had this last pregnancy so I can sympathise. It drives you nuts, you KNOW you've got a big bump, you don't need everyone reminding you all the time

This time I've only told immediate family my actual due date & just said "October" to everyone else (it's actually 30th), so that gives me 4 weeks grace

Maddison Wed 20-Jun-07 22:00:00

I get this all the time too, I'm 30 weeks. When people tell me I'm big, I'm tempted to say 'so are you' whether they are pg or not. Of course, I wouldn't, and I know they mean well, but the thought of having these comments for another 10 - 12 weeks is just awful! I'm even getting it from other people who are pg!

I like AlistairSims comeback! I'll remember that one for when I'm nearer my due date

BabyMadandBIGbump Wed 20-Jun-07 22:00:32

I had the same today I'm 34 weeks (almost) and 5 people have said are you sure there's just the one in there? After 3 scan's yes pretty god dam sure , But then my mw say it's all baby so thinking 9lb'er!

whomovedmychocolate Wed 20-Jun-07 22:04:07

".....and my what an enormous beer gut you have" would be a nice response.

Pammi Wed 20-Jun-07 22:12:19

Ha ha, thanks for the excellent suggestions for comebacks, I'll definitely be using some of those tomorrow at play group. It is so weird how everyone feels it is their right to comment on pregnant women's bodies. How would they feel if I commented on the size of their backside when not pregnant?!

Beachcomber Wed 20-Jun-07 22:12:31

Oooh that really used to piss me off too. I'm quite small but get huge when I am pregnant and people in my DH's family used to eye me up and down like I was a cow they were thinking of buying or summat.

My weight obsessed, overly skinny neighbour used to say everytime she saw me how she would hate to be that big when she was pregnant 'but it looks fine on you'.

Insensitve b****s the lot of them!

I thought it was just a rude French thing (live in France) but obviously it's just a rude feckers thing.

whomovedmychocolate Wed 20-Jun-07 22:20:01

Pammi - I would try: 'ooh look over there' (pointing at the sky and when they look... 'there go your manners'

Then smile angelically and comment on how pregnancy is great for ironing out wrinkles because of the excess collagen.

NikkiBFG Wed 20-Jun-07 22:22:24

My boss asked me how much weight I'd put on so far during my preg...I mumbled two stone through a mouthful of sandwich (I was soooooo hungry when pregs I had to have two lunches a day)er...2 stone so far...

<stern look from boss> You do know your baby isn't two stone don't you?

Me:

And she's the size of a water buffalo and not pregs!!

whomovedmychocolate Wed 20-Jun-07 22:23:47

Nikki - I think I would have told her I'd prefer to answer that question with a HR rep in the room if I were you!

NikkiBFG Wed 20-Jun-07 22:25:42

I took great pleasure in walking around the office and announcing how much weight I'd gained and seeing the look of shock on the skinny minnies faces while munching their celery sticks!!! ha ha!!

Classic!

whomovedmychocolate Wed 20-Jun-07 22:27:34

Nikki - you didn't threaten to sit on them did you?

NikkiBFG Wed 20-Jun-07 22:29:49

Ha ha!!! No I restrained myself....<polishes halo>

The obsession with preg weight is beyond belief though! I mean I gained 4st but I was constantly hungry - what am I supposed to do - ignore that just because the books say only eat x amt of calories or cos people are saying I'm getting too big! Bugger that! I listened to my body - ate when I needed to and slept when I needed to!

Ahh....the lovely days of just napping on the sofa with no disturbance!

whomovedmychocolate Wed 20-Jun-07 22:31:02

I gained four stone too! I have lost about three now though (8 months later) the last one is a killer though.

Sorry Pammi, we've hijacked your thread.

NikkiBFG Wed 20-Jun-07 22:34:57

I know I'm hijacking again but 3 st in 8mths!!!!!

Pah!

Pammi Wed 20-Jun-07 23:01:04

Well I put on 4 stone last time and so far two stone this time (although started off a stone heavier 2nd time around!). You can't drink, are too tired to go out so you may as well indulge in the only pleasure available to you - eating!

PurpleLostPrincess Wed 20-Jun-07 23:04:33

I've managed to not actually put on much weight in this pg but my bump is getting quite big. Sooo many people keep asking if I'm having twins etc. I'm thinking of getting a T-shirt printed with the following on it:

*Due in Sept
*There's definitely just one in there!
*It's a girl
F*k OFF!!!

Seriously though, I pre-empt them and say, "I've got ages yet, I'm not due till Sept but I'm massive".

If I'm in a bad mood, I just remind them (those who already know me) that I've always been a big girl and "lets face it, there's a bit of flab on top too!", while patting my belly. The expressions I get back from that are quite entertaining

I don't mind them rubbing my belly now that I'm big but I did before - not sure why that is!?

flibbertyjibbet Wed 20-Jun-07 23:23:26

I had forgotten that 'highlight' of my 2nd pregnancy, all the rest of me seemed to go slimmer and my bump was collosall! I think its just the way some babies carry differently. He was big and breech so never 'engaged' which made my first bump go down and seem smaller.
I used to just laugh and say that the zoo was very much looking forward to the birth of the new elephant or at the very least a hippopotamus that I was carrying for them

Pammi Wed 20-Jun-07 23:28:35

Purplelostprincess that is a great idea about the t-shirt - either that or I could just hand out flyers to serial offenders. Certainly beats the feeling that I have to constantly explain myself!

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