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Pregnant with no.3 but not sure if I want it

3 replies

What8pickle · 21/07/2018 23:37

I have 2 children age 6 and 4 and am pregnant again. I always thought I wanted a 3rd, even though my husband has never really wanted a 3rd I was sure I did, but now I’m pregnant (7wks) I feel I’m doubting it more as the days go by that I do actually want a 3rd? It makes no sense to me why I feel like I’ve changed my mind but I’m really not sure I actually want another baby now!! Has anyone else ever felt like this? I’ve never had an abortion, I’m not against it I’ve just fortunately never been in a situation where I have ever needed to consider it. I’m not even sure I could go through with something like that anyway. I’m just so confused, I was really happy and excited for about a week, but the last 2 weeks I feel less and less excited and more dread like I’ve made a terrible mistake. Anyone else ever felt this? Both my other children were planned & while I had the normal fears with the 2nd of coping, loving another child etc I don’t ever remember actually feeling like I didn’t want to be pregnant

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snop · 21/07/2018 23:50

I felt exactly the same with my 2nd, always thought I wanted another but when I finally got pregnant I went into panic mode. Do u really want another, how will I cope , can we afford it, it took a few months for me to settle and get used to the idea As I was really panicking. Now she is very much loved. I often think about why I felt like that in the first few months of the pregnancy I put it down to hormones. Congratulations btw op

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lollilolli · 22/07/2018 04:35

I'm 33 weeks pregnant with a very much planned and desperately wanted 3rd baby. My two dc were also 6 and 4 when finally falling pregnant. Like you, the first couple of weeks I was excited - we had tried for a few years and only had a string of miscarriages in that time. After those first couple of weeks, I think I went into panic mode! I think right up until my 12 week scan I had this horrible feeling of what had we done! I felt like we were taking away from the dc we had already got. Thought we were stupid to go back to the baby days when ours would be turning 7 and 5 soon and finally getting more independence etc. I cried so many nights at how stupid I felt to have put ourselves so willingly in this situation!

I can honestly say once we had the 12 week scan, all those fears went away! We are all so excited for him to get here now, and all that went through my head in the early days seem so drastic when I think about it now. I'd actually go as far as saying I'm currently looking forward to this baby and all that comes with it more now than I did do with my others, probably because they are slightly older and bigger age gap etc. Only you know how you feel though, but I just wanted to reassure you that it's probably quite normal to have those worries! In those early days, the thought of going from 2 to 3 seems like such a big thing!

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What8pickle · 22/07/2018 10:45

Thanks ladies it’s nice to hear that I’m not the only 1 that’s felt like this. My husband doesn’t really want a 3rd which doesn’t help as I keep thinking I’m going to ruin all of our lives now by going back to the baby stage as the older 2 are so much easier now. But I’ve always wanted a 3rd! I wish I could understand why I feel like I’ve suddenly changed my mind. May be it’s just fear