In laws frustrating me!!!

[sassy18]

So I am currently 28 weeks pregnant with my second child and in laws are getting on my nerves!!! Me and hubby have a 4d scan booked for next week and have invited them to come along to which they have declined. No excuse nothing !! I feel really bad for my partner as he wants them there. I am constantly having to keep my mouth shut for his sake. I don't know how much longer I can hold it for. Makes me think about all the past times for example when I was pregnant with my son my sister and friend threw me a surprise baby shower. Which she didn't attend. My son was kept in hospital for 4 nights a few years ago. I called her and told her which ward we where on if she wanted to visit but they never did(they live a 5 minute drive from the hospital) and my sons birthday this year he never got a visit from them( again 20 minute drive away) if they don't show up next week I am going to tell my partner I don't want them at the hospital when our girl is born they can wait till we are home and ready for visitors. Am I being an unreasonable hormonal mess?

[helenbaker183]

Not being unreasonable at all - but I guess they just don't get it - or something happened to them before where they then don't want to chance anything bad happening by coming to the hospital?

Just look forward to the fact, you'll have an amazing child soon.

[KadabrasSpoon]

I'd be upset at them missing birthdays and not visiting your sick child.
Scans and baby showers aren't everyone's cup of tea though.

[Rainatnight]

I dunno, I think some of these sound like quite different things so it's hard to draw a conclusion. I think a 4D scan is very much just for the parents (ie you and your DH), and particularly for a second baby, it's a bit odd to expect other people to go.

But of course it would have been nice if they had gone to your DS's birthday party, and to visit him in hospital.

[Chocolatesaveslives]

I agree with other pp. Missing birthdays or illness isn't nice at all so I would just stop inviting them or telling them about stuff to try to limit my upset and as they don't seem to care anyway. Either that or they'll ask why they're no longer being invited to birthdays and you'll get a chance to talk about it.

Inviting family members to a scan seems a bit odd to me though so I wouldn't expect them to come to that anyway.

[BanyanTree]

Don't waste the next 25 years waiting for them to change. Just leave them to it. Do what you have to and tick the boxes with them. Go out and make great friends and happy memories. If they don't do anything fo you, then you don't need to do anything for them.

[Maatsuyker]

Lower your expectations. It is clearly not as important to them as to you both. You can't change that unfortunately. It is a bit shit.

[PastaOfMuppets]

After all of these examples of them not caring at all, why would you have even bothered to expect them to turn up at the hospital to meet the new baby anyway? Genuine question. I wouldn't bother.