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Any sonographers/experiences

(11 Posts)
pumpkinbump Sat 10-Feb-18 21:22:18

Hi all, just a quick query. I have a scan on Wednesday. The father wants to know the sex of the baby and I don't. I don't particularly want him finding out in case he ruins the surprise. Can anyone tell me if they will tell the father either without the mother's permission or tell the father without also telling the mother?

Many thanks

geologyrocks Sat 10-Feb-18 21:25:34

For ds2 i disnt want to know the sex but dh did. At the scan when she asked did we want to know and i told her the above. She asked my permission whether to tell dh - i got the impression had i said no she wouldnt have told him. I had no problem with him knowing - i just wanted a suprise.

It was all pointless anyway because i begged for him to tell me on the way home - i couldnt bear him knowing and me not!!

pumpkinbump Sat 10-Feb-18 21:31:16

This is what concerns me. I don't want to be the one who has to grant permission because if I say no he's probably going to be pretty pissed off with me.

geologyrocks Sat 10-Feb-18 21:35:34

Yeah its a toughie..i think it is one of those cases where you would have to give permission.

I was going to suggest having a wors with the sonographer before hand to say that she couldnt see bit tbh i think that would raise alarm with her.

Why does he want to find out so bad? To be prepared? Can you try broach the subject and just stress that it would mean alot to you to have the suprise after the long pregnancy. Ultimately your body your choice

pumpkinbump Sat 10-Feb-18 21:38:45

For some reason he's adamant that he wants to know. He wasn't/isn't happy about the pregnancy so I don't know why it's so important to him. I think it's because he wants a boy over a girl so of he was told it was a boy it would somehow cushion the blow.

pastabest Sat 10-Feb-18 21:39:30

A lot of trusts don't tell you the sex these days.

Ours does if you ask but they won't specifically look unless you ask them too, and if they can't find it immediately they won't go to any extra effort.

So it might not be a problem anyway...

ClareB83 Sat 10-Feb-18 21:39:45

OP it's clear from your previous threads that the father is a massive twat. So just tell him no. You don't want to know and that's that.

Your going to have to learn to stand up to him. Start now.

geologyrocks Sat 10-Feb-18 21:40:19

So then what if its a girl? What can he do? Mentally bow out?

Are you still together?

pumpkinbump Sat 10-Feb-18 21:46:42

If it comes to having to have my permission I'm going to have to say no. We are together but he needs to start stepping up.

BoofayTheOompaLoompaSlayer Sun 11-Feb-18 08:20:05

I think until both parties want to know the sex, he should not know over you. Just say no. Easier said than done, I know, but don't give in if you don't want to know the sex.

Potteryprincess30 Sun 11-Feb-18 10:23:21

@pumpkinbump you would absolutely have to give permission for him to know as in some cultures/religions boys are more wanted then girls and you can imagine the issues surrounding this.

So it is up to the mother to give permission for the father to know smile

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