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Pregnancy

Reaching 24 weeks!

23 replies

EmmaHealy23 · 02/12/2017 22:59

My anxiety has been SKY HIGH while I've been pregnant. Have had two previous losses and this is the furthest I've ever got!

I know 24 weeks is still incredibly early but has anyone managed to calm down a bit after this? I am 24 weeks today, I've bought nothing, won't consider buying anything for ages anyway but DH has suggested it's a small milestone and I should at least start trying to get rid of the anxiety and try to calm down (coz it's that easy )

Anyone managed to start getting a handle on anxiety around this time? If so any tips would be greatly appreciated!!!

OP posts:

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ICanNeverThinkOfAGoodUsrname · 03/12/2017 07:15

I wouldn't say 24 weeks is incredibly early at all, you're almost 2/3 of the way through your pregnancy and I've heard of babies born at 24 weeks or just after have survived outside of the womb.

If you're still particularly anxious then take each day as it comes and think of each passing day as another day your baby is growing stronger and more ready to face the world.

teabagfreak · 03/12/2017 07:29

You only have 16 more weeks to go, think of it that way, and then when baby is here there will be new worries... well that's how I feel, 25weeks and I worry about everything, so have accepted that I am in for a lifetime of anxiety 🙄

CrossFreelancer · 03/12/2017 07:31

Bless you. 24 weeks isn't incredibly early though. Your baby is technically viable now

As pposter said, every day your baby is getting a little more prepared. Your actually close to meeting them now

Bubblesblue · 03/12/2017 09:21

I had a mini celebration at 24 weeks. It felt like such a milestone. It's definitely helped me to relax!

excitedforxmas17 · 03/12/2017 09:25

I also had a mini celebration at 24 weeks. I don't think I even realised that I had a low level of anxiety around it.

Good luck!

Mrsknackered · 03/12/2017 09:27

With both my pregnancies, especially my first, I felt like 24 weeks was massive. I definitely felt a little more at ease once I had passed that mark.

Only 16-18 weeks to go!

bonzo77 · 03/12/2017 09:27

Nope. Mine ramped up. I went from worrying about a loss to worrying about a prem / damaged / ill Baby. I was referred to perinatal mental health team.

PizzaPizzaPizza · 03/12/2017 09:39

Yes. I’m 25 weeks now and 24 ‘Viability week’ was a massive relief for me.

I have no experience of losses (Sorry to hear about yours OP ) but I’m expecting twins so the risks are much higher than my previous uncomplicated singleton pregnancies. I’ve been a nervous wreck for weeks but seem to of calmed slightly now.

Good luck for the coming weeks OP, baby will be here before you know it.

emvy · 03/12/2017 10:15

I'm counting down the days until I reach 24 weeks as well op. But as others have said, that's not particularly early and I think you should buy a little something for reaching this milestone. It won't change anything or make you feel any worse if, god forbid, anything did happen. It also sounds like your OH would like to relax a little into the pregnancy now as well. I too have suffered two earlier, previous losses and have no other children, am now 21 weeks so can completely relate. We bought a little outfit after our 20 week scan and actually that has helped me to feel a little better. Feeling and seeing baby move is also a wonderful reassurance. I am fully aware there are still risks but I'm trying to remember that I'm experiencing a wonderful thing and would much prefer to enjoy each special moment than spend the entire pregnancy in a state of worry. Try to recognise your anxieties as being valid but allow them to pass and at the same time, enjoy the positive moments as you experience them. You've made it to viability - that's amazing!

EmmaHealy23 · 03/12/2017 10:17

Aw wow thanks everyone to day I've been worried is a nightmare. I guess I'm not under any illusions that 24 weeks is anywhere near ready, but I suppose knowing in the back of my mind that the hospital staff and doctors would step in and help all they could, should the worst happen (god forbid) that gives me a little tiny speck of hope to hold on to.

I'm going to treat every single day as a milestone from now on!

As someone mentioned I am starting to worry about different things now, worry seems to change as the pregnancy progresses!

I'm glad to know it's not just me thinking this way, some people seem to sail through pregnancy but then there are people like me...over worriers!! I could win a gold medal for the amount of worrying I do!

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EmmaHealy23 · 03/12/2017 10:20

emvy thank you! Wise words!!

I keep thinking I'll buy something next week, then the next week comes and I can't do it, I know if I did manage to buy something it would make it so much more real but I guess it's something I'll have to build up to!

I just never imagined I'd be THIS nervous!

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DaisyLand · 03/12/2017 10:45

My last 21 w have been full of worry (well while ttc process ) and as my dh told me 1st it was not being able to get pregnant , after not being a baby in the sac and lately it’s been baby not moving so that’s cuz there has something gone wrong.
I’ve started counselling as don’t want this to continue this way ,as someone has said next will be giving birth and stillborn and after when baby is here will be why is he crying or asd.

I’ve also found mn stories triggers much of my anxiety , If something has happened to that family why not to me ? Iyswim. So I’ve got days I need to avoid mn as well as some of vip people sad pregnancy stories that keep appearing in the news as otherwise I find my anxiety goes quite high.
And also helps me thinking If all my friends have had sucessful stories then why not me

Keep strong , soon we will all have our babies with us

EmmaHealy23 · 03/12/2017 11:22

DaisyLand yes I totally get where you are coming from, I'm a bundle of nerves and just want every day to hurry up so I can get to the next one!

I know reading some stories are very sad, and I fully believe these ladies stories should be told and heard, but the reason I started this particular thread was just to sort of cheer myself up and get a bit of encouragement from others who have been through this or from others who are going through the worry with us.

Hopefully as you can see from all the replies we aren't on our own as far as worry goes and we can keep each other encouraged and keeping going one day at a time xx

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PurpleTraitor · 03/12/2017 11:24

Congratulations on reaching 24 weeks.

It was a milestone for me because it meant whatever happened I’d be getting maternity leave and pay. That sounds really horrible, sorry, OP, I know you are anxious and it ps not meant to sound like that. It’s just with previous late losses losing my maternity leave and having to go back days after having the babies was a kick in the teeth.

MagicFajita · 03/12/2017 11:30

Purple - I can understand that completely. I had a loss between 20-24 weeks and "had" to get well quickly as I only qualified for ssp.

EmmaHealy23 · 03/12/2017 11:55

purple I hadn't even thought of that. I can't imagine how horrible that must have been. So at 23 weeks you get nothing but SSP bit after 24 you get maternity pay?

I just can't believe you guys having to go through that...it should be lower, much, much lower. I just didn't realise that at all x

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PurpleTraitor · 03/12/2017 12:03

Not to scare you, but yes, basically - if your baby is born and not alive before 24 weeks it is considered a miscarriage, and you don’t get maternity rights or leave. The baby doesn’t have a birth or death certificate or have to be recorded officially until 24 weeks of pregnancy. So it’s a big legal milestone, and you are right to be proud of getting to it. I know I was.

I didn’t have complications of any type with my losses, which I am grateful for, so was straight back to work afterward. It really messes with your head and your idea of how your life will go over the next couple of years. Big change. I hope you can start to enjoy your pregnancy. I’d put the little flowers here if I knew how to.

TheHeartOfTeFiti · 03/12/2017 12:10

Hi congratulations do you know the reasons for the previous losses? Are you taking aspirin? Might be a good idea.

EmmaHealy23 · 03/12/2017 12:54

I don't personally know the reasons for the losses, by the time I got referred to recurrent miscarriage clinic I was pregnant! They were both earlier than now and I've come so much further this time. Never even made it to 12 weeks before.

I'm not one to count my chickens but I think it's a milestone, sadly my anxiety hasn't really reduced like I hoped it would at this stage but still, I suppose it's still a little ray of hope.

I'm so shocked still, I'm glad I didn't know about the maternity pay situation, I don't know how you could go back to work, mentally, I just don't know how you did it purple x

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emvy · 03/12/2017 15:44

As another poster said, mumsnet can at times be such a help and at others, do the complete opposite. I've found stepping away during hightened times of anxiety the best for me. I also found counselling to be a huge help - could you speak to your midwife about it? My midwife has been brilliant with my anxiety - getting me into my local hospital for my 12 and 20 week scans, putting notes for the sonographer and generally checking up on how I'm feeling. I'm sure if you mentioned how difficult you're finding it, your midwife will find you some support. It would be really lovely for you to be able to start to enjoy this final stretch of your journey and begin to bond with your baby. Since starting my counselling I've come such a long way and I don't think I'd be feeling this hopeful for the future now if it hadn't been for that. As for buying my first baby item - I cried. I still cry when I see things others have bought for LO. It took some doing, choosing something and going up and paying and I felt anxious the rest of the day but now just a week later I've been able to go and buy something else without feeling quite so tearful.

In terms of not knowing what caused miscarriages and taking aspirin - I don't know how helpful that would be at this point as I have heard people stop taking aspirin in the second trimester although I'm no expert! You seem to be doing well as you are though so I'd be reluctant to start taking anything, but that's just me.

EmmaHealy23 · 03/12/2017 17:11

emvy well done! I have banned everyone from buying things and I keep thinking 'if I get to X weeks I'll buy something' then I chicken out of it and I don't do it maybe after Xmas if I'm lucky enough to get that far I might feel better about it!

I actually did try counselling but although the lady was absolutely lovely, it didn't work for me, she kept saying my fears were valid and I shouldn't be ashamed of them, but i hoped she would have taught me how to actually physically deal with the anxiety but she said that was more CBT and that wasn't her style. Hers was just listening which didn't help so much, I think as I already talk about my anxiety with my mum & DH, they are both supportive anyway. Just wish I wasn't ruining it for DH, I feel like he's mega excited and in contest I seem like I'm such a downer

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MrsPear · 03/12/2017 20:47

Hi hope you don’t mind a non pregnant person popping in - I had the same problem with mine plus i knew I would never go full term. Re buying stuff what I did was buy and then pack in a suitcase. The big stuff stayed at my mums and for my other one my sils. In my not so rational mind if the worst happened h would only have to hand a suitcase to someone. As mine were born at 30/31 weeks I waited until the hospital told us they were going to discharge then I unpacked and h collected stuff. You don’t need a lot in the beginning anyway.

Tbh it would be best if you had someone to talk too.

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EmmaHealy23 · 04/12/2017 13:42

MrsPear thanks for the advice I know, I must come across kind of crazy but I honestly just feel all j can try to do is take it one day at a time. I do have people to talk to, don't get me wrong everyone around me is very supportive, I just can't quite get a grip on the anxiety x

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