Paternity pay

[guest477337]

I'm so gutted, I'm 37 and a half weeks, we planned my partner would take the full two weeks off after the baby is here to help and home and get settled into a routine.

I thought they get paid at 90% but it's only 100 and something a week 😩 we would be loosing out in thousands and not something we can afford to do.

How is this even fair? It's only two weeks! I'm so scared of being on my own from the get go, I was really looking forward to having the support at the start.

[JoJoSM2]

If it's thousands lost over two weeks, then it sounds like he's a very high earner? Would it really be that terrible if he only got the statutory amount for 2 weeks? Alternatively, he could use 10 days of his annual leave?

[AccrualIntentions]

Yep, statutory paternity pay is fucking abysmal. We'll lose approx £1500 for those 2 weeks, right when we can't afford it, and he can't take annual leave because he's a teacher.

[glow1984]

Well, firstly, how did you only just realise this?

Secondly, thousands?! If he's earning that much, I'm really surprised that you don't have any savings.

[Drinaballerina]

Might he be able to negotiate something with his company? Dh did and was able to wfh for 2 weeks (answer phone and emails) for an increase in his pay?

[PeasAndHarmony]

He can take some annual leave which is paid at his usual rate of pay.

[guest477337]

Please before you judge about the amount we'll be loosing you don't know what our outings are and who/what we have to pay for.

I thought I read somewhere it was 90% pay so didn't look into it further but obviously has made a mistake.

I was actually looking for people to be supportive, you know maybe say you'll be fine or give any experiences you've had rather than judging me.

@AccrualIntentions That's terrible, I don't understand why it's so low

[guest477337]

@PeasAndHarmony he only has 3 days left for this year, I'm such an idiot for not re checking. I must have got confused with mat pay

[guest477337]

@Drinaballerina I'm really hoping this although the company isn't the best! He's going to speak to them tomorrow to see what they can do.

[AccrualIntentions]

@guest477337@
Luckily I knew this was the case quite early on so we've just saved even harder than we already were to afford my maternity leave, but DH had also assumed it would be properly paid until I told him! I don't think it's well known just how piss poor it is. Hopefully annual leave is an option for you.

[glow1984]

90% of pay is for SMP usually.

Maybe he can take a week off if he speaks to management? My DP had arranged to have two weeks holiday on a flexible basis ie whenever DS popped out.

Unfortunately, he was then fired right before I went on maternity leave, and had to start working straight away. It was hard work looking after a newborn, but I just had to get on with it.

[ThePhoenixBird]

Depends on the employer, my employer gives full pay for two weeks paternity.

My DP had only recently changed jobs so wasn’t entitled to paternity pay so ended up taking a week as holiday and a week unpaid. It was fine for us as we knew this far in advance so saved money to cover the time he didn’t get paid.

[glow1984]

sorry, x posted.

Maybe he should angle for 6 half days, or can he work from home?

[guest477337]

I think it's just I'm more scared about having to be on my own, I've never been round babies and this is my first so I'm nervous I'll not be any good to be honest.

Everyone says it comes naturally but think I'm just worried what if it doesn't. Luckily my mum isn't to far away and she's great.

[cheminotte]

Yes it's terrible. My DP works for a decent company that paid full pay for the 2 weeks but it's shocking that some companies are generous to the women but only pay minimum for paternity.
But it's not your fault you didn't know - your DH should be checking.

[NorthernLurker]

Well some of us were having babies when mat pay was at most 18 weeks and there was no paid paternity leave at all. With our first child my mil was two hundred miles away and working full time, my mum was 100 miles away and working full time and dh could afford three days off as he was temping and got no pay at all. It was a bit grim but you just have to grit your teeth and get on with it for the seven or eight hours they are at work. At least it sounds like your mum can help you out.

[guest477337]

@NorthernLurker yeah she can help, I'm not saying I'm worse off than other people. I was just a bit upset when I realised, I know I'm lucky to have my mum near me. Was just expressing I was gutted about it

[Owl1011]

Paternity pay is shocking! My DH gets SPP and we’ll be losing a significant amount come January. Luckily we’ve managed to save the difference up already and my employer gives a good enhanced maternity pay but the still a pain and the last thing you want to worry about!

[PeasAndHarmony]

If your DH has only 3 days annual leave left, could he ask to take another 2 days from his 2018 leave entitlement to at least give him a full week off?

His employer is under no obligation to agree but it might be worth an ask?

[NC1990]

Yes statutory paternity pay is really poor. My husband works for one of the largest oil companies in the world and it's still statutory, despite the fact they offer an all-singing, all-dancing maternity policy to women. Very unfair for the men. My company offer full pay for the 2 weeks but they seem to be in the minority. My DH is just taking a mixture of annual leave and TOIL instead, luckily his boss is very flexible.

[wowbutter]

Have you checked out shared parental leave yet?
If you decide to take that, you can only get the statutory amount.

So, if I go on maternity leave I get half my salary plus stat pay. I can stay off for a whole year, lovely, obviously will eventually end up on just stat and then nothing, but for 26 weeks my company will give me a lovely bonus.

If I take shared leave, so I can share the leave with my husband, we get stat.
I don't get my enhanced pay. How is that fair? No wonder nobody uses shared leave. It's a frigging joke.

Men should be entitled to the same pay as women if they choose to take leave. I'm lucky we can afford for us both to take shared leave. But, I can easily see how we wouldn't be able to and my DH would have to miss out again.

[Jessiecat27]

My oh hasn't worked at his job for long enough and he's classed as self employed so anytime he takes off he won't get paid for, he's not earning more than the average so he will only be taking off time from when I go into labour and then a full day once baby has actually arrived. It's really unfair that there isn't anything in place for new dad's, I feel so bad that he won't get to spend much time with him someone I work with was in the same situation but her husband works away so he barely got any time with his daughter before he had to go back to work, hopefully you have family and friends who can help out if you want/need them

[mindutopia]

It's 90% for statutory maternity leave for the first 6 weeks. That's probably where you're getting that number. But yes, it's just that 140 something or whatever for SPP. Be grateful for that though. My husband is self-employed and gets absolutely nothing as you have to be working for an employer not for yourself to qualify. But we've planned and saved and he's still taking at least two weeks off and then will go part-time for at least the first month to do the school run, etc. Last time he took the 2 weeks and then a further 2 weeks unpaid leave and we just managed. It was well worth it.

Could you perhaps ask for this as a Christmas gift or something this year? Like don't buy each other anything and save it instead so he has more time off. Or ask family to put aside a bit to help him stay home longer instead of buying you anything? It really is worth it. It's not so much you needing help. Actually I think I would have been okay. It's just the bonding time is really important. Or could he work part-time so he is home some but back at work some or overtime leading up to it?

[owltrousers]

Yep, paternity leave and pay is an absolute joke.

Its unfair that the men get to spend barely any time with their newborn child and its also unfair that it puts the onus to be the primary child carer on the mother straight away from birth.

The UK is actually really behind on this compared to some other countries, which allow a lot longer for pat leave on greater pay.

I think it needs to be at least 6 weeks on 90% pay really, which is I think what the labour party were putting forward last election from what I can remember.

[BoredOnMatLeave]

DP did 1 week paternity and 1 week AL. Any chance he could use his 3 days in during the 2 weeks so it's not quite as bad?

I do think 2 weeks is terrible considering a lot of women are still covering from c sections then

[Rachie1986]

accurual obv a high up teacher if £1500 is 2 weeks take-home.. or I'm working in the wrong school!!