Too scared to go to gp and say how low I feel

[Mum2oneds]

OK. So basically I was on alot of different anxiety and depression meds. Came off them a bit when I met dp and completely when we ttc early last yr.
I can't express enough how happy I am with my dp. And the life I have with my family and being pregnant.
However. Since both our exes found out they have both been absolute bell ends. My ex has stopped my maintenance. So had to go via cms which has been sorted but he says he can't pay till end Nov.. Dps ex is feeding his dc with utter crap. Like daddy won't do things with u when the baby is born.. His dc is only 5. But clever and understands.
Work well they r just crap. Under staff. Ignore my risk assessment. So have decided to go on maternity leave before Xmas.
I've sat indoors all day just crying and I don't know why. I feel like my DS dad just tries to screw me over for the least reason. As he knows I won't let my DS go without and I will go without to cover what he won't pay. Which I honestly have no is sue with. My birthdayis in three weeks and I honestly just can not be bothere, I don't want anything and don't want to do anything. I have said any money I get I will use for my DS to cover what his sperm donor hasn't given.
My dp pays for everything rent etc and is clearing debts run up by his ex a few yrs ago. And as much as he says he will help me.. We're a family I just find it hard to accept as I've always been independent. And I'm the type to rather clear debt than have nice things. The only debt I have is about 100 on a credit card which I clear each month.

I just feel like everything on top of me. And I don't know what to do.
I've got a new GP as mines retired and Ive neve r discussed anything with anyone else before. I don't want to go back on meds being pregnant but I don't know what else they will do.

[nothingpreparedmeforthis]

Go to your GP or midwife. They can help you. I took sertraline in pregnancy and after and it really helped. Both kids came out normal - or at least their weird ways are not attributable to the medication, just bad genes.

[Mum2oneds]

I have midwife Fri. But I'm so scared they'll write it in my notes. And they will worry I'm shit at being a parent or something.

[nothingpreparedmeforthis]

They will write it in your notes. And then they will be able to help you manage it, and feel better, just like your previous GP did. You can't see that right now because your brain is fried by depression and pregnancy, but it's true. What's the worst that can happen? Seriously, if they took away children from every mum who feels depressed, pretty much nobody would have their kids left! It's not a crime to be depressed. It's not child abuse. You are doing nothing wrong - you're asking for the help you need to be a great mum. Talk to your midwife.

[Mum2oneds]

Thank you. I will ring for an appointment tomorrow for this week.. And mention to mw Friday..gulp!
Even dp tonight keeps saying what's up. All I can come out with is I'm fed up.. He is like with what. I say everything.. I just can't blurt it out.

[KimmySchmidt1]

Talk to your DP, talk to your midwife, focus on getting help to make sure your current relationship doesn't suffer and be open with your DP - don't let these things from the past risk your future. And have you thought about getting married?