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Second child guilt

(3 Posts)
user1496231209 Sun 24-Sep-17 18:05:25

I'm four weeks pregnant with my second baby and I'm thrilled and over the moon however I'm suffering with awful guilt and I don't know how to cope with it

My little man is 5 years old and it's always been just me and him. His dad isn't around and we don't have any family in the local area except my mum so as you can imagine we are incredibly close. We're literally like best friends as well as mother and son.

I feel so so guilty about him having to 'share' me with the new baby. I tried to broad the subject with him asking how he'd feel if he ever became a big brother and he said he'd feel sad because he wants it to stay just me and him.

How do I cope with this? Is it normal?

KalaLaka Sun 24-Sep-17 19:11:47

You can help him through this big transition. A couple of months before the birth, read new baby books to him (library has lots), take him to buy the baby a present, etc. Tell him honestly what will change (having to wait for lots of things if you're feeding, having to be a bit careful when running around the house, etc) and what won't (you loving him, having time for him...). I wouldn't do it too soon as 9 months is ages for a child.

Things do change, and instead of just having you, he'll have a sibling to play with in the future too! Focus on the positives if you can.

Lozmatoz Sun 24-Sep-17 19:38:00

Sounds like he answered by what you usually tell him. 'It's just me and you', 'we're best friends' etc. All positive stuff yes, but maybe try changing how you speak will shift if all. They learn so much from us. 'Won't it be wonderful when you have someone to play with', 'there'll be 3 of us, isn't it exciting', 'you're going to be a wonderful big brother' etc. And the thing is, it's true! He will always have someone when he's growing up.

It's happening, so you both have to face it, but make it exciting for him. He'll follow your lead.

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