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Pregnancy, apprenticeship and living with mum

(8 Posts)
CrimsonKitten Tue 19-Sep-17 14:44:17

Hi.
I'm 24 and moving into my boyfriend's family home at the beginning of October to start an 18 month apprenticeship in childcare. I missed my period last week but I had recently been diagnosed with stress and depression and that was a side effect that I was familiar with. However, I'd been feeling very sick and decided to take a test (or 3) and discovered I am actually pregnant. I'm in shock as we were careful, and now I'm worried about several things:

1. My mum will go mental (she scares me)
2. His mum will go mental (it's not fair on her)
3. I'll only be able to do half my apprenticeship before giving birth and I don't know how they will react.
4. What happens once the baby arrives? We'll still be at his mum's, I'll still only earn an apprenice wage, and we are both up to our eyeballs in debt from previous relationships that ended badly (we were both engaged to people who faked mental illnesses to gain our care and rob us blind)...

I don't want to get rid of the baby, it would break my boyfriend's heart, but does anyone have any calming advise? It was an accident, a badly timed one. We both want kids, but is this the time?

Thanks in advance.

DeadDoorpost Tue 19-Sep-17 14:57:49

My first instinct would be to find out about the apprenticeship and how its going to affect that. If it's classed as work then you'll be able to qualify for some maintenance money during the maternity leave which will help cost-wise at least.
Have you told your partner about the pregnancy yet? That also needs to be top of your list if you havent.
As for your mum, she may be overjoyed at the news and the same with your partners mother. But when you tell them is entirely up to you and everything is entirely your decision.

DeadDoorpost Tue 19-Sep-17 14:58:34

Oh, and let your Dr know asap so they can give you advice as well.

CrimsonKitten Tue 19-Sep-17 15:13:28

Thank you.
Yes I have told him as we decided to take it when we were together at the weekend. I know in the long run our mums will be happy, it's just after several discussions with my mum about the subject, her reaction is a little scary.
I know I'm an adult and my mum had me at 24, it's just a lot to process.
Thank you again.

Chloe20 Tue 19-Sep-17 15:20:42

I think you need to tell them.. I was in the exact situation as yourself and yes they were annoyed at first but now little one has arrived they're over the moon. I was 1/4 years way through a course when I found out.. they may be able to extend your apprenticeship if you explain your circumstances. smile

existentialmoment Tue 19-Sep-17 15:24:31

It's entirely up to you whether to go ahead. You do need to think of the waht ifs though: his mother may not want you living there with a baby, you might not be able to continue the apprenticeship at all.
What will you do if you are homeless, jobless, in debt and pregnant?

CrimsonKitten Tue 19-Sep-17 15:26:41

Of course I will tell them, I just don't know how. My mum and I literally had the discussion last week about what she would think and it was a mix. My boyfriend and I have decided to keep it quiet until we know details as I don't even know how far gone I am yet. And I'm also worried because I've recently been on holiday and had a lot of alcohol, I have a physically demanding job that has actually case spinal issues and I consume energy drinks on a daily basis. I'm worried I've been pregnant throughout all this. As far as my apprenticeship goes, I was accepted long before I found this out, and hopefully they will see there was no way I could've known then. I could work for a reasonable amount of time beforehand as it's not a physical job like my current one is. I just hope we can sort it out.
Thank you.

CrimsonKitten Tue 19-Sep-17 15:29:05

Yeah, these are the questions that haunt me and initally the ones that scared me half to death. I suppose first things first, I have to see the Dr. Then once we know things are OK, we can sort everything else. I've read the rules for pregnant apprentices but it completely depends on the company so that's something I'll have to deal with asap.

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