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Should My Ex Pay Child Support after the baby is born?

(13 Posts)
user1490444663 Sat 25-Mar-17 12:47:55

I recently split from my boyfriend and just looking for alittle bit of advice. This is my first pregnancy so I know nothing, So, Please be kind.

I'm about to turn 7 months pregnant and as we didn't want to jinx anything, We decided to wait till later in the pregnancy to start buying things. Now we have split up, I'm left to pay/buy everything as he won't help out.

He already has a child, but he pays absolutely nothing towards her, BUT I don't know if there was an agreed upon arrangement between him and her mother, He buys her birthday and Christmas presents and everything else, But financially, I KNOW he doesn't give her mother anything.

However, I feel if he wants to be involved with our son's life, He should pay some form of child support. Is this wrong of me to feel like this?

He has a very good income, Taking home over a grand a month and has no bills other than his phone bill and a hundred pound rent he lives with his family to pay for. His money normally goes on things like Concerts, Nights out, Things he wants etcetc, So its not like helping out would be a struggle for him or leave him short every month,

When we were together, He used money as a weapon against me constantly, Because he made a lot more than me.

I feel in a way, Its unfair that I am left to pay for absolutely everything BEFORE the baby is born and mostly everything after as the baby will be living with me. I feel he should help out financially when the baby is here, he only thinks he shouldn't because he already doesn't with his other child.

Again, Please be kind, I know nothing about this. Thank you.

PatriciaHolm Sat 25-Mar-17 12:49:41

Of course he should.

If he won't voluntarily, you can apply to the CMS to sort it out for you.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Sat 25-Mar-17 12:51:21

However, I feel if he wants to be involved with our son's life, He should pay some form of child support. Is this wrong of me to feel like this?

Yes. Children are not pay per view and your child has a right to a relationship with their father.

Having said that he sounds like an utter arse. He should be very definitely paying maintenance - if he won't use the CSA (or whatever they are called these days)

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Sat 25-Mar-17 12:51:50

What his ex finds acceptable doesnt mean you have to follow!!
I doubt she is happy he is taking no responsibility for his child tbh!
Phone cms when baby is here and don't let him dob you off. .

DaisyChainsForever Sat 25-Mar-17 12:52:59

Regardless of whether he wants to be involved in the child's life he should be paying you some money. If he won't agree to this volountarily he can be made to (CSA).

DinosaurFanGirl Sat 25-Mar-17 13:02:16

Yes he should pay. My mum had to provide all the proof of what he earned though and had to do a lot of her own spying as he works unemployed. But if he is employed by a company should be a lot easier. Best to look on Citizens Advice to see what to do to kick start the process.

Lemonnaise Sat 25-Mar-17 13:03:58

Yes he absolutely should pay for his child.

ScarlettFreestone Sat 25-Mar-17 13:07:26

Of course he should pay to help support the child he created!

EdSheeranswife Sat 25-Mar-17 13:09:19

Your completely entitled to receive maintenance for your off him, do not let him or anyone else convince you any differently. Once the baby is here, there is a child maintenance online calculator you can use to work out how much your child is entitled to from him. This is handy if you want him to pay you directly. Or is he being a twat and given you 0 go on child maintenance and start a case there. Thinks it's between £20-30 to start and they will hopefully sort it out for you. He is the father of your child, his responsibility also as well as yours.

HecateAntaia Sat 25-Mar-17 13:14:01

of course he should.

it sounds like you will have to fight for it but you knew he was a man who did not support the children he created when you were with him so this shouldnt come as a surprise

you will need to go through the government agency that is supposed to enforce child support.

you cannot legally refuse access to the child on the grounds that he doesnt pay. the two are considered seperate.

it is utterly repugnant that a man can create children and put not one scrap of food into their mouths or one item of clothing on their backs but he has a proven history of being that person so you can expect a battle.

it is important that you fight it. your child has the right to support from both the people who created them!

user1490444663 Sat 25-Mar-17 13:33:47

Thank you for all the replies so far,

Of course the baby will have a right to a relationship with his dad, What happened between the two of us will in no way effect that decision as I feel women who use there child as a weapon are completely out of order. Admittedly, My parent feel he shouldn't be involved as he showed no interest until we split up, but now he says he wants access so he will have it.

Yes exactly, Like I said, I don't know all the ins and outs of there agreement, Her situation is completely different to mine as I know she already had 2 other children and neither of their dad's are involved in their lives or pay a penny either. Maybe no maintenance is her choice, But just because that's HER choice, Doesn't mean its mine, and there for the fact I know he doesn't pay anything shouldn't effect whether he should with our son or not.

He works early mornings to mid afternoon every day except weekends and one day on the weekend he spends with his other child, So, I'm not so sure when he will have the time to see the baby, But it will be up to him to decide. I don't want to take him away from one child, but feel maybe one weekend with one child and one with another might be a good suggestion. But he is the kind of person that would argue this so.. Yeah. He is busy but again, He wants access so he will get it.

I've just had a look, And going off how much he earns, the fact he won't be having the baby over night Due to the situation with work etcetc It would be about 30 pound a week, So that's good to know atleast a rough idea so we can discuss it. Thank you for letting me know there is an online calculator to use for an idea of where to start :3

And yes indeed, we both did create this child, I'm not asking him for full financial support with everything as I will also be supporting the baby financially, I feel its fair to get SOME financial help from the other person who helped create him. Just incase anyone read/ will read this as me wanted him to pay for everything.

Thank you everyone.

HN42 Sat 25-Mar-17 19:52:09

I would have thought he has some sort of responsibility to pay towards costs you incur bringing up his child. It might be worth trying to arrange to go into your local Citizens Advice Bureau to chat to someone impartial that can advise you on the course of action you should take. Their website also has a bit of information:
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/children-and-young-people/child-maintenance/child-maintenance-where-to-start/

MaisyPops Sat 25-Mar-17 19:55:35

He has responsibility towarss the baby. You are not unreasonabke at all.

He should be paying regardless of his contact. If hes been so crap with another child then id have it formally drawn up through child support.

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