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Very down am I wrong?

(6 Posts)
mummyrich1988 Sat 11-Mar-17 15:17:49

I'm currently 19 weeks pregnant and have 2 other children already I don't go out to work due to anxiety and my children are still only young my partner works Monday to Friday every week which I'm greatful for but I'm
Constantly told how I'm a housewife which I don't mind and I do all the household duties but he expects me to pick up his dirty clothes underwear etc from the bathroom and floors and other stuff he leaves laying around and reminds me that I'm being unreasonable to moan at him for this? I never get any gratitude for how the house looks or dinners or washing etc etc just feel it's a total waste of time now. He thinks I'm not working because i don't want to and just wants money handed to me but that's not the case at all I don't want to put my kids in childcare I suffer with anxiety and take regular medication for this i feel so down living like this and don't no what else to do? Am I being unreasonable here? 😢

WantingBaby1 Sat 11-Mar-17 16:35:08

No you're not being unreasonable. Sounds like he needs to stop acting like a teenage boy and start putting his dirty pants in the laundry!

Have you tried talking to him?

Honestly some people have been mothered so much all of their adult lives they don't know how to function without someone picking up after them. It's not your job! It's one thing to run a household and look after children but it's quite another to be playing mum to grown man who needs to wise up, act his age and appreciate what you do for him.

I'm 19 wks pregnant too. It's tough.

Scottishweddinghelp Sat 11-Mar-17 16:46:17

No, definitely not being unreasonable. I have two little ones and a third on the way too. I work part time (self-employed) with flexible hours. Sometimes I have lots to do in a week and other weeks it is pretty chilled on the work front ... but two little ones is a lot of work as is a household. I hate cleaning up after my DH. I can't complain too much as I've been ill during pregnancy and he's stepped up a lot with cleaning and helping with the kids, and yet - If he leaves clothes on the floor or crumbs all over the counter or dirty dishes all over the lounge ... I get frustrated to say the least.

I figure the minimal for everyone is to clean up after themselves ... sadly not everyone learnt that.

plotisgone Sat 11-Mar-17 16:49:05

I'm 13 weeks pregnant and wow is it hard!! Maybe I watch too many movies but the hills are not alive with the sound of music, the hills are grey and stormy with the sound of thunder.
All of my medical conditions (only have 3) have been exasperated since being pregnant and, I too, suffer from anxiety (I have had several bouts of therapy but always managed without medication).
I'm not sure if it's hormones but recently I feel like my bf is severely lacking in several aspects of the relationship! I'm sure it wasn't my imagination that he used to help around the house!! Now I come in and if he has managed to do something I could be knocked over with a feather.
We work about the same hours but he earns more. I was away on business for a week a couple of weeks ago and I'm still catching up with his laundry, when I returned the house needed cleaned to the point there were no clean cups and he had no socks or underwear left clean.
If I were to embark on a 'conversation' with him it wouldn't end well for me - the petty, over reacting, moaning gf.
One thing I have tried to stick to is that if he's out working then I will do housework. But if he's out socially then I will do minimal-no housework.
Good luck!

Funnyonion17 Sat 11-Mar-17 16:54:01

No you definitely aren't. Just because you've taken on the roll of housework etc whilst hes at work doesn't mean he can leave a trail of mess as he likes and expect you to deal with it. It's like having an extra child! But even then we try teach our children to respect the home and pick up after themselves. What makes him am exception? Orite we've all done it, left a mess. But deflecting and making it about you not working is bullying to get out of it imo.

oatybiscuits Sun 12-Mar-17 07:49:29

No... presumably you're teaching your kids to pick up their dirty laundry, tidy up after themselves etc? Why would he be any different? (And why would they do it if they see you cleaning up after him?) if I were you I'd be finding an evening and weekend job so he gets a wee taste of being on his own with the kids, but not really feasible when you're pregnant.. so you'll probably have to be grown up and talk to him grinI hope he's grown up too!!

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