baby stopped breastfeeding :(

[thecatsarecrazy]

I've been really struggling. I so wanted to b.f but I've been in so much pain, cracked bleeding nipples. In hospital his blood sugar kept dropping and in the end they found the only way to get it up was to b.f then give him an oz of formula. He's a week old now and I've been b.f all be it very painfully and getting d.h to give him a bottle at 10 so I can get some sleep. Last night it took an hour for him to nurse properly he was sucking but really softly. I made a bottle and when I was waiting for it to cool he finally did it. Today he's not feeding again . How do I get over the disappointment? I've only left the house once since we been home.

[HaylJay]

Aww you're doing so well don't be hard on yourself! There's only so much you can do and you are trying your best!
Have you considered pumping some breastmilk? If he's happy with bottle maybe you could feed him some expressed breastmilk. That way your keeping your supply up and you can keep trying and also baby is still getting the benefits of the breastmilk?
Even if you had to stop and use formula don't feel you've done something wrong, you have to do what works for you 😊

[NoraDora]

Have you tried expressing?

It sounds like baby isn't latching properly. Has anyone checked for tongue tie?

Do you have any feeding support workers? Ask your midwife if there's a local service.

Don't be disappointed or beat yourself up. The important thing is that baby gets fed.

[arbrighton]

It's only been a week, takes some babies ages to get the hang of feeding. Natural it might be but easy it ain't.

Has he been checked for tongue tie?

[Isadora2007]

It is harder work for baby to breastfeed than bottle feed so if he is getting bottles he is used to the milk just appearing so then he won't feed as efficiently.
For a short term solution then you can express and feed but really he needs to learn to work for it... that's why breastfeeding is better for jaw development and reduces risks of ear infections and speech impediments etc as it is like a workout for their wee faces! When he is awake and happy and has energy offer him breast milk and plenty of skin to skin.
You don't need to feel like life needs to get back to normal quickly. Going out isn't as important as this short time in your newborns life. Get some decent box sets on the tv. Get topless underneath your dressing gown and just cuddle your baby with a nappy on and nothing else. This will help your supply and encourage him to feed more too. It's so worth it.

[thecatsarecrazy]

I've tried expressing a few times but my pump is pretty useless and takes ages to get anything out. He was checked for tongue tie in hospital. M.w has been twice and got him on but since last night he's not interested

[Isadora2007]

Yes Google tongue tie and see if he might have that as itcan be hard to feed well with a TT. And it's often missed by paeds etc.

[sycamore54321]

Not directly related to the feeding but you are at serious risk of developing DVT if you are staying at home all the time under a newborn baby. Your risk for blood clots is very high in the first six weeks after the birth. You need to remain active and mobile to avoid risks.

[Bear2014]

Can you afford a private lactation consultant? What area of the country are you in?

If you really don't want to give up BF get on Amazon Prime, get a decent pump (medela swing or equivalent) and express every 3 hours to keep your supply up. That way, you buy yourself some time to figure out a strategy.

My DD didn't latch properly til day 9, her lack of feeding before that led to drastic weight loss and re-admission. We did a combination of pumping and trying her on the boob and eventually it clicked. Good luck xx

[Bear2014]

Also hospitals don't pick up a lot of cases of tongue/lip tie. They only seem to look for the most serious and obvious ones, but even the slightest tie can affect latch and cause you serious pain. You wouldn't necessarily need to get it cut if it was tiny, but you need to know how to adjust your latch.

[Foggymist]

Contact a lactation consultant or someone who can help with latch. Expressing isn't advised this early unless medically necessary, your baby is still establishing your supply and expressing and formula will affect this. A week old is still incredibly early days, find a local bf support group and a medical professional who will provide proper help and you should be able to get baby latching properly with no pain.

[CelticPromise]

I second recommendations for trying a bf support group. You will get good advice and probably meet others who have been where you are. You could also try the national bf helpline, they really helped me when I was struggling.

In the meantime, express to maintain your supply if he's not feeding (you could try by hand if your pump isn't great), lots of skin to skin, offer the breast often, try just as he's rousing from a sleep. You could call your midwife again - I'm a trainee mw and where I am we would send a support worker to see you who just does feeding support.

Best of luck to you - it is early days as others say.

[CelticPromise]

For a baby who is not feeding expressing is certainly recommended to maintain supply.

[Chloris33]

You need BF support, which can make a huge difference. Your visiting midwife should help and you can give the team a call to say you need more help. However, if you don't find her that helpful look for support elsewhere- is there a breastfeeding clinic (usually a drop in group) at your local hospital? Another source is brilliant BF support organisation La Leche League www.laleche.org.uk You can find your local group and the leader(s) also offer help over the phone. If you can't find one of these free options, it's worth seeing a private lactation consultant if you can afford it. Good luck! X

[fuxxake]

How are things going OP?

Hey listen, continue to try BF if you want, change to 100% FF if you want or do a mix -it really doesn't matter that much in the big scheme of things. Baby needs milk that's all. BF might be better but sometimes it just doesn't work out. It's really hard if you had the mental image of BF while you and baby gaze adoringly at one another and bond but the reality is that at the beginning it can take loads of patience and perseverance and tears and pain. My first didn't latch properly for about 3weeks. It's a good idea like pp suggest to use formula if you are stressing over it and baby is really hungry and at other times in the day just continue to offer breast and it will prob click eventually. And if it doesn't, so what? You don't look at a playground full of kids and differentiate which were BF and FF as babies.
If you want to carry on do try to get support as other have listed: BF support groups, HV/MW, La Leche League...

And relax! Have a bath and a cuddle with baby and enjoy him, bet he's gorgeous

[Whatsername17]

I second what the previous poster has put. You had to introduce formula due to his blood sugar - you had no choice. If bf isn't working then make a guiltless switch to formula and get on with enjoying your baby. I had lactation failure with dd1. There were a number of things that went wrong and the early days and I couldn't build up a supply. On GPS orders I switched to formula and proceeded to beat myself up for the next year feeling like a failure. However, 5 years on I have a healthy 5yo old dd. She is the youngest in her year and has just come top of her whole year group in a literacy and numeracy tests. Dh is a teacher at her school and gets to see where she is in terms of tests etc. She was talking in full sentences by 15 months and met all of her milestones early. I think they key to her health and intelligence is being weaned onto a healthy diet and reading to her from an early age. Spending lots of time developing her social skills and just loving the bones of her. Because I've been through it, I know it makes no difference - dd1 couldn't be any more perfect. Bring able to bf her would have benifitted us when she was a baby but has had no lasting effect. I do worry that mix feeding caused her to have colic and she was a nightmare feeder even on formula because she only would take a small amount which we discovered was due to lactose sensitivity. But, she could have still had those issues if bf had been sucessful so it wasn't down to formula. Dd2 is 2 weeks old and bf is going so much better this time. It's easier than using formula but if I had have encountered problems I would have switched without any hesitation or guilt. Enjoy your baby. You are doing a great job.

[Lunalovepud]

You are doing a brilliant job OP.

Just echoing the previous recommendations to get DC checked for tongue tie again - my DCs TT was missed by about 10 midwives despite being diagnosed by the first one, feeding being absilute agony and the lactation consultant we saw who eventually snipped it saying it was one of the worst ones she had ever seen!

I was even told by midwives that TT doesn't prevent feeding, that breastfeeding is supposed to hurt at the beginning and I should just get on with it. Thanks for the support ladies! BF didn't work out for us in the end, not for want of trying... I was devastated at the time and felt a failure for giving formula but DC is healthy, strong and happy and that's all that matters really.

Currently expecting DC2 and planning to try to feed the new baby but if it doesn't start working out within the first few weeks I will be remorselessly moving on to formula again.

I remember it seemed like BF was supposed to be the thing everyone did, everyone talked about it and how amazing it was for the bond with baby and how much better it was for baby and that formula fed babies have lower IQs etc and it was like a cult I wasn't allowed in because of my crap boobs and DCs poor tongue.

I felt awful at the time but it turns out that it didn't affect mine and DCs bond, in fact it probably made his bond with DH stronger earlier as he was able to do some of the feeding too.

At the moment I know it may seem like the be all and end all but in a year, no-one will ask you how you fed your baby.

Keep well - massive hug to you and I hope everything works out for you as you want it to, boobs or bottle.