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Hubby doesn't want baby

(10 Posts)
Kennyb26 Tue 10-Jan-17 21:04:45

Hi. I'm 33 wks pregnant and Hubby didn't want baby. He been sayin he don't want it since I was four months pregnant. And I said to him il leave as don't want to stay if you don't want it. (We already have two boys aged 8 +7) he reassured me said it was just nerves etc I said if u say it again I'm gone. Well I'm 33 weeks pregnant n he sitting saying now that he don't want baby and he don't want be at the birth. He think it just done to nerves. But I'm not convinced I'm really upset and he wonders why I'm upset and don't want to know him. He said if u want me at birth il be there. But I'm letting you know I don't. So I said to him no I'd rather you not. (Obv I do but he doesn't want this baby, haven't supported me through this pregnancy so y wud I wnt him at birth) I am all alone in this and thinking I might as well just go with my boys.

phoebe2016 Wed 11-Jan-17 15:24:37

Hi Kenny, bless you, what an awful situation you have found yourself in. Regardless of whether he wants the baby or not, it is happening and he should step up to the mark! How is he with your other DC's?
How was your relationship before you got pregnant with this baby?

Kennyb26 Wed 11-Jan-17 20:19:05

Are relationship was fine before I fell pregnant. He is good with the boys. He said he feel scared mayb more fact it a girl and he won't know how to clean her bits. I don't believe him. I feel all on my own. And don't know what to do

10Betty10 Wed 11-Jan-17 21:46:53

I'm a bit confused at what he wants you to do about the baby he doesn't want? You are very pregnant! I think you are more than entitled to be very worried here- have you asked him what he expects to happen once you bring baby home? Is he going to ignore her? I really feel for you, this must be horrid flowers

Pinkbottletop Wed 11-Jan-17 21:49:24

Honestly I have unfortunately met a few men like this in my time. 9/10 once they hold the baby they fall in love. It's up to you if you hang in there. Make him go to the birth. He'll regret it and so will you if he doesn't

Richteadipped2 Wed 11-Jan-17 21:51:52

He sounds terribly anxious

Kennyb26 Wed 11-Jan-17 22:10:49

I'm totally confused on what to do. To be honest I reckon it won't get any better when she here. He said he will come to birth if have too. Well I don't want him there now. He hasn't supported me through this pregnancy just kept saying he don't want it. I said if u say it again il leave. He reckon he was scared then. But to then say I don't want to be at birth it really has upset me. I'm 33 wks pregnant and he has put me in a imposssible situation and I don't know what to believe. How can I believe he scared then I have her get home and he still horrible. I really don't know what to do

10Betty10 Wed 11-Jan-17 22:19:44

I think you are fair to say you don't want him at the birth if he is essentially saying he will do it but only if he HAS to. You are going to be in enough distress as it is, without that added worry. Do you have a close friend or family member you can have there instead to support you?

I guess it's hard to tel what he is going to be like after the birth, but this behaviour during pregnancy is not normal I don't think personally. It's really hard to make any decision though whilst you are so close to the birth now I guess though as that would be very stressful.

Kennyb26 Wed 11-Jan-17 22:39:41

I don't want him there. I can ask my mum to the birth. I just have this feeling it will get worse and I might as well just go. Not fair on her she not even born yet and her father don't want her. I can't see it as him being scared. I said to him that bs as u got 2 kids already. I'm already stressed as it is. Haven't told anyone how he been so totally on my own.

10Betty10 Wed 11-Jan-17 22:58:48

I think that you can only go with your gut- it's great to be able to get others thoughts but only you will be able to pick up on the feelings and tone of what he is saying too. I do think you need to make sure you talk to someone like your mum or a good friend in real life about this though- they will be able to support you more practically with whatever choice you make. If you think things will genuinely get no better then maybe leaving is the right choice- it's whatever will make you and your children (and new baby) happiest that counts more than anything.

I think you are very brave for addressing this issue head on actually. Your daughter will have an excellent role model in her mummy whatever you choose.

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