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Nosey Pregnancy Parkers really geting on my nerves!

(9 Posts)
Libbylove2015 Thu 05-Jan-17 12:16:35

Apologies, but dropping in for a rant.

I am totally fed up of the pressure from people who suspect I am pregnant. I am 10 weeks, and we didn't want to tell anyone until the scan - later if possible due to the risk of mcg.

But people at work - the HR manager (who is also a friend) has pieced together the evidence (decafff, no booze at xmas party, day off with husband who also works here to attend scan, cancellation of skiing holiday) and is now constantly asking whether I have something to tell her.

And then our cleaner (don't judge it is only two hours a week - we work full time!) has obviously been poking around and has noticed the books by my bed and left a note of congratulations!

Others have been the same. It is really getting on my nerves, I don't want to formally tell work yet as if it the pregnancy goes wrong, it could compromise my prospects here if they knew I was trying.

Why can't people just but the f**k out and let us tell them when they are ready! It might be fun for them to guess, but having to tell everyone if we have a miscarriage would not be so fun for me.

Sorry - rant over! Am I overreacting here?

calimommy Thu 05-Jan-17 13:53:14

Calm down. Yes it's very annoying. But people are just happy. But your manager would want to piss off with asking do you want to tell her something. Your cleaner knows EVERYTHING about your life already, she probably emptied the bin with your test 😝 so chill
But I understand the frustration, and it's very hard to keep the secret so you probably feel annoyed that now people are guessing and what you were looking forward to was telling them! I remember once telling a colleague how tired I felt and her asking was I pregnant and me saying 'no I actually just had a miscarriage last week'. I've had two miscarriages (9&10wks) and the one thing that annoyed me the most was that no one knew about the pregnancies therefore when they were gone it was like they didn't matter. So I'm much less worried about people finding out now, everyone knows the first 12 weeks are riskier so they understand keeping the celebrations low key. Try to ignore what annoys you and enjoy the next two weeks because once people know your pregnant they will have ALOT of opinions about your body, what you eat, what you drink, etc. And that is much more annoying 😜

calimommy Thu 05-Jan-17 13:55:29

And FYI, there is literally no decaf in my life. I'm a nurse and I have a 3yo and 1yo and I need coffee and tea TO SURVIVE 👍

SarahOoo Thu 05-Jan-17 15:49:42

Yes it's a little of an overreaction. My cleaner saw the scan pic but didn't say anything until we told her which I thought was sweet but as above, your cleaner likely knows when you're having sex and when you have your period!

Just tell the HR Manager that you don't have anything to tell her and leave it at that. I work in HR and I'm more than half way now (yay!) and I didn't really had any prying questions but the odd ones I did have I just shrugged off and then apologised later when we did tell them which was fun!

Candidfruits Thu 05-Jan-17 16:57:45

This really annoyed me too. I was asked outright by an acquaintance in a social setting if I was pregnant - I was about ten weeks at the time. Why she thought I'd possibly want to confide in her when clearly I hadn't mentioned it and was holding a glass of champagne (for show) is beyond me. I tend to call people out on this if I see them doing it or they tell me they asked somebody.

Also, people don't know the full story. For every pregnant woman who is really excited and desperate to share, I bet there's at least one other who is feeling anxious for various reasons. For me, I was terrified about getting bad results from the combined test (they went on to be fine), and the thought of sharing our news before I was ready felt pretty upsetting. And I'm usually pretty robust, honest!

jaffacakes16 Thu 05-Jan-17 17:11:35

This p*sses me off no end it's so ignorant of people to pry like this. I've had 3 miscarriages so pregnancy for me and many others is not a joyous guessing game for other people to play. I've been in a position of having to tell people I barely know about a mc because rather than keeping their suspicions to themselves they decided to start celebrating my pregnancy which ended several days later.

Rant over.

ExpectoPatronummmm Thu 05-Jan-17 19:25:02

That would piss me off too so I feel for you.
I kept mine a secret til 18 weeks for various reasons including a previous miscarriage and not wanting my bosses to know as I had just been promoted.
Yet this nosey cow at work decided to tell everyone (including bosses) that she thinks I'm pregnant as I didn't drink alcohol at the last social event (despite me never drinking as I have kids to get home to every time)
I kept saying no to her but she went on and on.
Therefore when I finally announced no one was shocked and she was very smug.

topaz22 Thu 05-Jan-17 20:47:19

no you aren't overreacting! i was the same, i wanted to keep it a secret and my mam guessed and i cried my eyes out cos she ruined my surprise! then a stranger asked me if i was expecting at 10 weeks envy it's something you want to tell people yourself isn't it!

Dolwar Fri 06-Jan-17 13:03:34

I've made my husband swear on pain of death that he won't breathe a word until after the first scan when the time comes. It's bad enough being asked when you're planning on having kids by the in laws (is none of their business in my mind) without them knowing too early

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