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Hitting home(7 Posts)
I am a week overdue with my first baby. I'm not asking for advice on induction, just it really hit home today that I'm about to become a Mother. I visited a family members newborn with my husband and all of these emotions flooded me. Mainly being scared that I'm going to be a good mum. I know it's silly and probably every parent thinks/feels like this at some point. I have lots of support, a lovely home and good health 🙂 all of a sudden it hit me when seeing this baby what we're dealing with. She was so precious, gorgeous and tiny, just five days old!!! I was too afraid to hold her incase I broke her!! My hormones flooded me with this anxiety and all these worries. My mum gave up on me and neglected me as a child, very sensitive subject and I can't understand how when I saw this babe today, how you could do that to your own beautiful little baby! I know I love my unborn baby unconditionally already and seeing this beautiful child just brought it all home. We got home and I had a massive cry to my husband about being a good mum. I just can't believe it's happening any time now. This time last year I was just starting to get myself together with the thought of maybe one day being a mum, it's finally hitting home now. Is this normal? Did/does anyone else feel like this?
Passes tissues about
You will be fine. The fact you are worried about being a good mum shows your care. It's also totally normal to feel overwhelmed at the prospect of becoming a mum for the first time. I found it difficult at first getting used to having a small person totally reliant on you. But I'm about to have DC#3. It does get easier and you do get used to it.
My advice is to take it one day at a time. You will make mistakes, we all do. Unfortunately they don't come with instructions
Have some and a <hug>
Your feelings are completely normal and probably driven by hormones at this stage.
Once it's your own baby, you won't believe how quickly you become expert, cavalier even, in handling them.
Thank you socks, it So overwhelming!! I know I'm going to fall in love instantly. I've changed so much since i fell pregnant, as has my husband. And it's so strange going from talking about wanting a baby with DH to falling pregnant and finally happening. Congrats on number three, goodness knows what the future holds soon. My DH reassured me that he's always going to be here too, that he's a bit nervous but it was so lovely hearing him say that he knows he's going to be a good Dad. Just very emotional times. Thank you hugs back.
The one thing I would say, from my own experience, is that my initial love for DC1 was on a more primal level. I would have done anything to protecting him but the real, deep love came gradually over the first few months. You may well be different and fall head over heals straight away but if you don't and it takes time, remember this is perfectly normal too!
Trust your instincts, seek advice when you need it but ignore what doesn't feel right and you will be fine. Being a mum can be very tough but it is also the most wonderful thing in the world!
I think it is totally normal to feel like this.
Take it one day at a time. Babies can take mistakes.
You may well fall in love at once, but don't worry if you don't and the love needs time to grow. Both are normal.
I'm afraid worries about being a good Mum probably never really go, but the fact that you care so much is a great start! You won't worry so much with your second (I'm just about to have my second, I'm nervous but at least not worried about holding him or her or a changing a nappy - in a few weeks it will be second nature to you too).
Yes I would absolutely reiterate the falling in love thing.
Don't underestimate how absolutely exhausted you may be from labour etc to be staring adoringly into the eyes of your newborn. And then so tired from feeding etc to really do much beyond exist.
My love for my DS, the true, overwhelming love, took a while. But he is the most amazing thing in the world (most days...!)
Also, I know exactly what you're saying, but don't put too much pressure on yourself be an 'amazing' mum. You will be brilliant, but you will make mistakes and shout and think things that aren't true.
It's mostly just bumbling along Keelung everyone alive!
Best of luck with your birth and baby. I'm due #2 next week and I'm hoping to do it 'right' this time after my practice run with poor DS!!
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