Depression is back

[user1467934782]

Hey there. Sorry this is my first post not sure if this is in the right sub.

So yeah hey, im currently 13+5 weeks and im 24 this is my first.

Il just give you a quick back story, ive had a lomh history of depression that has cause nothing but problems in the past and that takes a very delicate balance not to upset. Ive been doing really well for the past year it been all good and happy, engaged,morgage, family puppy, just a quite happy life.

Then since ive became pregnant i thought it would be a happy thing, i have just gone to worse then i,ve ever been, lost intrest in everything had to be off work for weeks can eat or sleep or even speak to anyone and if anyone brings up the pregnacy i just pretend its not happening. I wont buy any baby stuff the worst part at the scan i felt nothing. I was hoping to feel a wave of emotion it i cant seem to bring myself to feel anything. My relationship is hanging by a thead at my partner doesmt understand whats wrong with me and tjinks im selfish and heartless and dont want the baby.

I do ive wanted to be pregnant not i am i seem to have had a complete emotion shutdown.

Anyone suggest anything i should do? Or felt this way?

[Lizziedoll]

You could be in shock? I hear pregnancy can exacerbate existing mental health problems. I just found out I'm pregnant with my first and I've been feeling happy but anxious. I suffer from anxiety and depression so naturally I worry I will struggle whilst I am pregnant. I am seeing my GP about it this morning, may I suggest you do the same? Some antidepressants work on anxiety and depression and are safe to use in pregnancy. They may also suggest some counselling. Wishing you all the best and I'm here if you would like to chat

[divadee]

I have suffered from depression (not while pregnant) in the past and had a complete mental breakdown last year. Counselling and hypnotherapy worked for me, I would think a trip to the GP will be a massive step forward. Also I can honestly say what helped me and my partner was couples counselling after you are better so you can both understand how each other feels. A lot of partners can blame themselves for your depression and feel a failure. It took a professional to tell my partner it wasn't anything either of us did, no one can control it.

Sending you hugs and hear if you need a chat.

[ProjectGainsborough]

I feel for you. Also recommend seeing your gp. I had cbt for the underlying issues of my depression and it helped enormously. Good luck!

[Trulyamnearanear]

All my experiences with the mh system suggests there's a lot of support for pg women, pre and post natal. More than there is generally. Do you feel comfortable with your gp or midwife to ask them?

[KarineAimee]

I'm similar to you, OP, in that I've had a long history of depression and am now pregnant with a wanted and planned child.
I was very aware of risk to me of post-natal depression, but had no idea of how common ante-natal depression is, and sure enough in my first trimester and through to about 16 weeks, I got depressed again. My GP was pretty sure it was due to the hormone surge, and I clung to that and tried to get through, but was absolutely miserable about my much wanted pregnancy.
Fortunately, things have improved and now at 25 weeks I am back at work, feeling mostly ok on a day to day basis, and finally getting excited about the baby.
I have had brilliant support from my GP and midwife, so would really recommend you talking to either one about how you're feeling. I was worried they would want to refer to social services and felt like I was risking them taking my baby away, but they could not have been more supportive and never once suggested anything like that.
Go easy on yourself if you can, OP. Your body is going through massive changes and hormones are incredibly powerful. Seek support, be kind to yourself and try and cling on to the fact that there will be light at the end of the tunnel.