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Asked OH not to drink

(18 Posts)
Blossom567 Sat 04-Jun-16 21:39:45

I'm 37+4 so due in 2/3 weeks. Our DD was 4 days early & I'm measuring big this time...
I've asked OH not to drink more than one alcoholic drink, so he can drive us to hospital when labour starts. He doesn't seem to be managing this & either sneaks a couple more in or asks me if its going to start tonight, thereby allowing himself another one or two.
When did you expect / ask OHs to stop drinking?
AIBU to expect him to refrain or limit himself to one a night at this stage? I've managed 9 months, so 3 weeks seem reasonable to me... I can feel myself bubbling with anger and resentment that he can't do this simple thing. I'm doing everything else! I haven't raised it yet as I know I'll get the eye rolling, argument & attitude that I'm being unreasonable & he's fine to drive. AIBU?

DrowningInWallStickers Sat 04-Jun-16 21:52:24

Sorry, but does he drink every single night and is unable to stop at one? You've got a bigger problem there than worrying about when it's appropriate to ask him to stop

AuditAngel Sat 04-Jun-16 21:55:05

I suffered complications with DC2. We had been out for dinner and I drove myself to hospital. To be fair, I was only 33+4 at the time.

ExtraHotLatteToGo Sat 04-Jun-16 21:56:26

You could always get a taxi.

DartmoorDoughnut Sat 04-Jun-16 21:56:29

Seeing as you're now full term I don't think yabu at all! Lock all the booze up?!

Blossom567 Sat 04-Jun-16 22:02:04

He doesn't have a drink problem in the sense of getting drunk - I am literally talking about a couple of drinks with dinner & one after maybe. I'm certainly not worried about him being in a fit state to support me or be capable, except for driving. It just feels selfish that he won't abstain, especially for the sake of a couple of small beers. I also have no problem having the conversation / argument with him! I just wanted to get a sense of whether I'm being a bit emotional about this!!

starry0ne Sat 04-Jun-16 22:06:05

This is a time you feel the need to bed supported..

Willberry Sat 04-Jun-16 22:11:05

Dont think you're being unreasonable at all, when my DHs on call at work he has to stay safe to drive for a week at a time so I'll be expecting him to do the same when I'm due! You can get alcohol breath testers too not that expensive so he could check hes ok to drive or if you need to get a taxi!

RaeSkywalker Sat 04-Jun-16 22:11:52

We're going to a wedding when I'll be one day off 37 weeks- I've asked DH not to drink and he's fine with that. The wedding venue is an hour from home/ the hospital. I don't fancy that drive!

Junosmum Sat 04-Jun-16 23:43:52

UANBU. DH voluntarily decided to go teetotal at 37+2 (37 was Christmas day!) He had one drink new years eve and didn't touch a drop new years day, which was a good job as my waters went that night!

Blossom567 Sun 05-Jun-16 07:46:35

Thanks all. I think we'll be having a 'chat' later!

Eastend2015 Sun 05-Jun-16 09:49:08

DH likes a drink and I'm 38 weeks so I totally understand where you are coming from. Replies saying if your DH can't stick to one drink then you have bigger problems are pretty unhelpful as it'll make your discussion quite emotional and it could easily turn into you thinking he doesn't care about you, which I'm sure isn't true. So yes, have a chat about it but it isn't difficult to have a plan B of some numbers of taxi companies who could take you both if needed.

I know my DH drinks more if he is nervous about something (such as the babie's imminent arrival) so I find reassuring him and talking through the practicalities without making it a personal attack generally a more effective way to get what I need.

Gileswithachainsaw Sun 05-Jun-16 09:51:35

why should you have to get into a taxi when you have a perfectly good car there waiting.

it's only a couple of weeks for heavens sake. we all managed 9 months. ..

KayTee87 Sun 05-Jun-16 12:02:48

Yanbu. I'm pretty laid back about my husband drinking / going out during my pregnancy (I've heard some people saying they wouldn't 'allow' the man to drink at all hmm) He's out every weekend at something however from 37 weeks he will need to be fit to drive at any time and he's not questioned that. I've actually said I would prefer that from 35 weeks he didn't have any nights out and we just spent the weekends together as we won't get the opportunity once the baby is here.
The sneaking an extra drink is pretty bad, if you went into labour would he still drive you to the hospital knowing he was over the limit as he had had an extra sneaky drink or would he come clean when you need to go in thus potentially upsetting you and causing you stress whilst you're in labour?

KayTee87 Sun 05-Jun-16 12:03:53

Forgot to mention I'm 33+2 so nearing the end now too smile

Runningupthathill82 Sun 05-Jun-16 12:14:56

I never asked DH to stop drinking. He's a grown adult, what he drinks is up to him.
He knew that I could theoretically go into labour at any point from 35ish weeks onwards, so it was up to him, IMO, if he wanted to be sober or not.

As it was, he had a few drinks now and again but generally not much at all. We don't drink loads anyway. He was, however, well and truly over the limit at New Year when I was 38 weeks. But if I'd gone into labour that night (unlikely) we'd have got a taxi/lift from a non-drinking friend and he'd have been forced to sober up sharpish.

The night I finally did go into labour, three weeks after that, he hadn't had anything to drink for several days. I was quite glad I didn't spend Christmas and New Year patrolling his booze consumption.
IMO, if he wanted to take the risk of dealing with labour while being a bit pissed, that was up to him. And as I trust him and didn't act like his mother, he was sensible enough to drink in moderation or not at all.

newmummy580 Sun 05-Jun-16 13:16:38

I completely understand how you feel here my DH did exactly the same. We had the chat and an argument then he agreed not to drink until baby comes. I basically said its not too much to expect to ask him to refrain for 2 weeks (I'm 38weeks) and that after 9 months of pregnancy (being t total) that's the least he could do so I could have a comfortable ride to the blooming hospital. I also mentioned that he needs to show he is a responsible adult and by getting in the car potentially over the limit doesn't help me to feel relaxed about him being responsible enough to care for a baby (this did not go down well, but did knock se sense into him). If he was stopped and lost his license, then he would struggle with work and that's a huge amount of pressure on a new family/ ME. I did try to ask him to keep to 2 pints a night (like you) but then he told me he was having others and as this couldn't be done I told him that obviously he can't moderate so it has to stop completely. The last thing I need is to be angry at him/ doubting him whilst in labour....
My DH does not have a drink problem he gets carried away and thinks he can drink more than he can, we have this argument constantly. Men!!!

Blossom567 Sun 05-Jun-16 17:26:07

Thanks everyone, I do need to have an honesty chat with him. I think he genuinely believes babe will arrive at a convenient time in the day. Not during rush hour etc too! Thanks all.

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