I realise that this is a sensitive subject for a lot of people. A few years ago I was one of those people and so I am very sorry if this causes anyone any upset.
I am pregnant. I already have 2 DC. The oldest is autistic and can be very difficult. The youngest is only almost 2 but appears to have similar problems and is being monitored by the health visitor.
We spent 5 years trying to conceive dc2 and since his birth I have been diagnosed with polycystic ovaries. He truly was a miracle.
Believing that we may wish to expand our family just once more, we didn't use contraception and assumed it would take a very long time for anything to happen, until 3 weeks ago when we decided that it might just happen and we weren't ready for that at all. We started using condoms again but it was too late, I'm already pregnant.
We can afford another child, mostly. We do have space for another child. We can love another child.
Sounds like a no brainer?
Me and DP have had a particularly bumpy relationship. We barely survived the first year of dc2s life together. He has some form of ASD too (as do all of the males in his family ranging from mild ASD to extreme autism and learning disabilities combined). This makes it quite difficult to be on a level with him sometimes.
We have quite different ideas on raising children.
We are not overly stable individually (he is depressed with anxiety, I have bipolar which is mostly under control but have literally just in the last week come out of quite a bad state of mania).
We are not overly stable as a couple. It was only a month ago one of us almost moved out, at the others request.
I do not believe that another child will magically fix everything, but I'm not sure if we could make do and make it work.
I am fully pro choice and believe that everyone should have options yet I don't feel like termination is the right option for me, the thought makes me sick. But we had already decided that it wasn't the right time for a child.
Part of me thinks that we got ourselves into this situation in a perfectly normal way and so we should deal with it.
I would never terminate after 12 weeks (not that I would judge those who choose to, it's just a personal decision) and I am currently 7 weeks in. Adoption is 100% not an option.
I have no idea what to do. I'm so overwhelmed by it all.
I'm not very healthy and this will take a huge toll on my body. I hate maternity wards with a passion. The pregnancy itself terrifies me.
I don't really know why I'm posting here. I never thought I'd be in this position. Honestly I don't want to be pregnant. But I don't want to terminate. It seems more like would I least regret termination or a new child?
Then of course I really have to consider not only the rocky relationship (which probably won't make it the long haul) but also the potential affect that this has on my other 2DC. I can't even begin to imagine how that will play out.
Partner is of same level of indecision as me and of no real help.
I can't speak to my friend as she terminated young and is now struggling to conceive. She believes it's related. Can't speak to MIL as her religion blocks termination. I don't have anyone else.
Please help me to rationalise this and make a decision.
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Pregnancy
Pregnancy, termination? I don't know what to do.
14 replies
BonesyBones · 19/05/2016 08:42
OP posts:
AnUtterIdiot ·
19/05/2016 09:18
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