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Pregnancy

stop touching my stomach!

20 replies

KayTee87 · 09/05/2016 15:31

I need some polite ways of telling people I don't like my stomach to be touched.
I've been gritting my teeth so far and am now 28 + weeks and totally getting fed up with it.
No one ever asks me if its ok that they touch they just go in for the kill and it's too late for me to say no.
Yesterday was the worst, my husbands family were round and my mil basically mauled me all day even going as far as to poke at me to 'get the baby to move' and grab quite hard so she could feel where certain body parts were - I did say quite sharply he's probably sleeping just now - it was horrible but I couldn't figure out a way to ask her to stop without seeming rude.
I know she's being rude to do it in the first place but I'm not very good at standing up for myself with certain people.
Help!!

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KayTee87 · 09/05/2016 15:32

Sorry 29 plus weeks

OP posts:

Chlobee87 · 09/05/2016 15:39

I feel for you - I hate this too. It's just such an invasion of your privacy and personal space. Unfortunately in my experience there is no way around it apart from just to confront the person and explain that you really aren't comfortable with people touching you like that.

Awkward in the short term but you just have to weigh up whether it's better or worse than another 11 weeks of unwanted tummy touching.

Stom91 · 09/05/2016 16:39

Please stop touching me no don't like being touched.

Or poke them back

FoxgloveStar · 09/05/2016 16:44

Step back, cover your belly with your arms in a defensive stance and say "please stop", "easy", "don't touch me"

Be strong. You will not want this for the rest of your pregnancy. I've had people come at with me with their hands but a firm "no" along with body language has stopped them all before they have made contact.

I find it ridiculous that people suddenly feel it's appropriate to start groping at will during pregnancy.

DoomGloomAndKaboom · 09/05/2016 16:47

Tell them you find it painful. Say your bump is very sensitive and it hurts you even when you are touched very gently.

You will need to react with an OUCH and a hurt face and jump when you get prodded. Tears will help.

Does anyone actually LIKE their bump being groped?

SewSlapdash · 09/05/2016 16:51

"What ARE you doing?" With a horrified and offended look on your face. Grab their hands too, if you can.

KayTee87 · 09/05/2016 16:55

These are all good suggestions, I think I just need to woman up and stick up for myself.
Can't describe how much I hate it, I'm not a touchy feely person at all and it just feels like a total invasion, makes my skin crawl.

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Pregasaurusrex · 09/05/2016 17:02

I'm like you- people touching my bump makes my skin crawl. People invading my space at all to be fair. I've taken to wearing long scarves, and moving back away from those who approach with arms out!

Corabell · 09/05/2016 17:03

Poke/ grab their stomach back and watch them flinch.

Juliecloud · 09/05/2016 17:09

I hated that when I was pregnant. I took to wearing a massive (empty) bag across my front but I remember an elderly relative moving the bag out of the way so she could rub my belly!

RaeSkywalker · 09/05/2016 17:25

I am dreading the possibility of this happening. I have always hated my stomach being touched, even by DH. I'm only 12 weeks though so not showing yet. I'm trying to get my head around tolerating DH touching my stomach (because it's his baby), but would freak out if anyone else did it.

seven201 · 09/05/2016 17:35

Pre pregnancy I would never let anyone touch my stomach, not even my husband. Now I'm pregnant I don't mind people (not strangers) touching it briefly. If my mil did it constantly though that would piss me off! If she tells me one more time how huge I am I might punch her, but that's another story.

hownottofuckup · 09/05/2016 17:37

I don't get the stomach touching thing. What do they expect to feel? It's so intrusive!

AddictedtoGreys · 09/05/2016 17:37

I don't mind people touching my bump if they ask first, but anyone who just does it without asking gets a very firm "what are you doing?"

Vap0 · 09/05/2016 21:05

I hate this too!

Only had 2 bump touches so far (23w tomorrow), both family, one half sister and one was my dad. I am not a touchy freely person at all and don't like all this closeness. With my half sister I was so freaked out as it was the 1st time, I just froze. When my dad did it the other day I was stood up and just stepped back a few inches until his hand was no longer there and I think he understood that I wasn't comfortable. Will try the moving away again next time, I think this was coupled with a pretty mortified looking face. I really hope my partners parents don't start it.

I can only see it getting worse the bigger you get...

Ankleswingers · 09/05/2016 21:09

Happened to me all the time in both my pregnancies. Can't say I was a fan of it but on the other side of the coin, I think it's just instinct and lots of people do it as an affectionate thing.

congratulations on your impending arrival

Liss85 · 09/05/2016 22:56

I would never touch anyone's stomach. I felt really weirded out when my sister put my hand on her bump to feel the baby moving. So far, one of my other sisters has briefly touched my stomach when I was disagreeing with them that I was showing but that's it. It took years for me to be ok with my husband touching my stomach.

MyKingdomForBrie · 09/05/2016 22:59

Wow, doesn't bother me at all. Why does everyone hate it?

KayTee87 · 10/05/2016 00:17

mykingdom it's the touching without being invited to or asking permission that's rude. I put up with the odd pat etc as I think well at least it's out the way now and I can relax but really object to being poked and prodded for hours and stomach constantly rubbed like there was no tomorrow.

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MyKingdomForBrie · 10/05/2016 09:20

Poked and prodded is definitely bad!! I would give a loud 'ow!!' At that point!

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