Elcs on Monday, DC1 has chickenpox!

[Glitterkitten24]

I don't even know why I'm writing this, other than i'm gutted at the timing of the way this has all worked out.

I'm having dc2 by elcs on Monday, and last Sunday, my DC1 came down with the pox.
I've had my pre op meeting with midwife today who has advised that DC1 doesn't visit the hospital to see new sibling at all- I was hoping if all the scabs were formed then he'd ben able to visit as Dr Google says they are not infectious then.

Obviously I wouldn't want to risk any harm to any babies on maternity wards so will do what we are advised....

But I feel so upset. I won't see my DC1 for at least 2, possibly 3 days. He won't be the first person to meet baby as we'd planned. He is so excited about baby coming and now he'll need to wait til we come home to meet him/ her.
I'm tearing up writing this.

Please give me a virtual slap around the chops and tell me I'm making a fuss about nothing.
Or any ideas of how to make DC1 feel included are welcome too.

[ShowOfHands]

You should be able to go home on Tuesday so I'd say no visitors on Monday and realistically, it's only overnight.

Can he help get things ready at home? Give him some balloons to artfully arrange and some important jobs to do and then let him come and collect the baby from the car when you get home.

How old is he?

I understand. I'd have been so gutted too.

[Glitterkitten24]

At today's appointment they reckon I'd be getting home Wednesday, also he'll need to stay overnight at my mums on Sunday night as we need to be at hospital stupidly early on Monday morning.

He's 4, and already super clingy to me since he knows baby is coming. We've bought him a gift from baby and a gift for him to give too.
Do you think a Skype call/ FaceTime call would make things worse or might help?

Thanks for replying.,

[minipie]

I can understand why you're upset - and being heavily pregnant with a sick child won't be helping .

But... our DD1 didn't visit us on the ward either when DD2 was born (and we were in with DD2 for 3 days). Not because she had chickenpox but for lots of other reasons. Maybe some of these might make you feel better/like there is a silver lining?

• we wanted a couple of days of just us and DD2, after all it was probably going to be the only time we got with just her
  
• I wanted a bit of "quiet time" to work on establishing BF
  
• we thought it might be confusing or upsetting for DD1 (2.5) to come visit us in hospital but then have to go home again without us
  
• we didn't want DD1 needlessly exposed to all the bugs that are flying around in a hospital
  

Ideas:

• You can still have DC1 be the first person to meet DC2 if you want - you just have to tell everyone else to wait till after you get home!
  
• You might be able to do Facetime from the hospital with the new baby which your DC1 will probably love. And send lots of photos.
  
• We bought a little present for DD1 to give to DD2 (I saw lots of suggestions for the other way round, but DD1 seemed more excited about giving a present, much to my surprise).
  
• Could you meet DC1 outside the hospital? Obviously not if he is still infectious, but if he's scabbed over, perhaps you (and baby if hosp will let you?) could meet him in a nearby park or cafe briefly?
  

A lot of this depends on how old your DS is...?

[minipie]

Massive cross post!!

[ShowOfHands]

DD was 4 when DS was born. She would have been upset by facetime. It depends on the child.

Can you not all stay at your mum's on the Sunday? That's what we did so that I could say goodbye to dc1 in the morning.

They do say 2 days as standard but if you're well, one night is really common. It's a judgement on the day.

[Artioo2]

Ask everyone else to wait until you get home before visiting, then your DS can still be the first to meet the baby. Surely people will understand? I can understand why you're so upset, I would be too, and this is what I would do.