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(20 Posts)
AKP79 Wed 30-Mar-16 14:47:56

I had a MMC over Christmas and have found out in the last few days that I am pregnant again. Obviously this time around I am very nervous and am praying we don't have a repeat of what happened last time.

I have just received an email at work from one of our directors detailing a business trip I am expected to go on in June. The trip is to Germany. I'm a very nervous flyer at the best of times and am concerned about going abroad without my partner when I could, hopefully, be 15 weeks pregnant. Work know about the miscarriage, but don't know about the new pregnancy and I don't know what to do.

My husband and our son were planning a trip to Spain at the end of July, so I don't feel like I can say that I'm nervous about flying, but it did feel very different because I would be with my husband and not 5 other male colleagues.

Plus my flying anxieties have heightened since the Brussels attack.

What would you ladies do?

AKP79 Wed 30-Mar-16 16:24:32

I'm already being chased for a response... would love to hear others thoughts on how to deal with this. I really don't want to go, but don't know whether I have a choice!

bittapitta Wed 30-Mar-16 16:28:12

No evidence that flying short haul causes problems in pregnancy I would've thought? I and friends have all flown in first and second trimester of pregnancy.

bittapitta Wed 30-Mar-16 16:29:57

And re the terror stuff, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow, in fact probably more statistically likely than being caught up in something I'm afraid to say!

Conceptionzilla Wed 30-Mar-16 16:35:50

Can you go with the work trip for now, tell work you'll go? but speak to your doctor nearer the time if your fears and health make it feel difficult. Your work can't make you travel against medical advice.

AKP79 Wed 30-Mar-16 16:39:32

Thanks for the reply bittapitta - my logical brain totally agrees with you, but (and possibly its pregnancy hormones) my not so logical brain is panicked about it all.

My biggest concern is miscarriage, I'm older (so in the more at risk group), I've had a MMC over Christmas which has left me very anxious about this pregnancy and the thought of anything going wrong whilst I'm abroad with no female company heightens my anxiety. I know I'm probably worrying about nothing, but it's very hard not to. Our MMC was very drawn out and traumatic.

kamillaw Wed 30-Mar-16 16:43:03

I had a plane ticket booked for 14 weeks to Scotland. I totally freaked out at the last minute and my boss agreed to let me travel by rail which was actually worse as uncomfortable and overnight and on my own which was even more anxiety inducing?!
terror attack can happen anywhere. I guess agree to go as you cannot predict how you will feel closer to the time.

wonkylegs Wed 30-Mar-16 16:44:22

At 15 weeks I wouldn't be too worried about air travel and pregnancy, I suspect you need to get over your nervousness. I don't think you have a real reason for avoiding it.
Terror worries are understandable but unless you are going to hole up in a cave and hide, general life risks (travelling in a car, crossing a road, flu) are probably more of a worry than general travel to Europe. If you were going to a major hotspot it might be different.
I understand your reluctance but think you probably need to bite the bullet and go, worst case you hate it, best case you might even enjoy it.

wonkylegs Wed 30-Mar-16 16:47:19

I had a very drawn out MMC last year so do get how difficult it is, and I suspect some of the anxiety never leaves you but life must carry on, and life carrying on can help. Btw I'm now 34wks pregnant - still more anxious than I was with my first but the end is now in sight.

Bejeena Wed 30-Mar-16 18:32:55

It is unfair of them to chase you after less than 2 hours, just say you will have to speak to husband about childcare for your son before committing (I assume this is fair enough and believable)

Having had a mmc last year and pregnant again I totally understand the worry. However it is totally fine to fly at 15 weeks, I flew at about 27 weeks this time too.

You will be fine and if something did happen don't worry the care you would get in Germany is second to none.

Longdistance Wed 30-Mar-16 18:42:57

I went to Oz when I was 10 weeks pg with dd1, and when I was about 20+ weeks I went to St. Lucia. I had travel insurance for both that had cover for pg.

Frazzled2207 Thu 31-Mar-16 09:52:44

I flew at 13 weeks and 23 weeks (europe). Clearly don't go anywhere with zika virus but I wouldn't worry about flying within europe to a country with good healthcare. Check your travel insurance tho-
Most should cover you.
I believe we are as much at risk from terrorism in the UK as abroad.

almmummy Thu 31-Mar-16 21:53:36

Could you get the Eurostar? It will take longer and you'll need to change but it is feasible. Your holiday plans are nothing to do with work (do they even need to know?). If they know about the MMC I'm sure they will be flexible. Legally they have to make reasonable H&S adjustments

bittapitta Thu 31-Mar-16 22:52:06

almmummy why should Eurostar be better than flying?
- Safer from terror threat? Not really given that foiled shooting in France last year.
- Health? Longer journey vs short flight so debatable negligible difference

almmummy Fri 01-Apr-16 08:03:25

Just thinking it's the flying that is worrying her - it's an alternative, that's all.

BikeRunSki Fri 01-Apr-16 08:11:20

Clubs you drive/ferry or get the train to Germany?

I understand your anxiety about bring away with only male company. I haft go away (only about 120 miles) for 2 nights to take an exam with some colleagues, at 32 weeks. My anxiety was that the baby would be early (I was born at 33 weeks). One of my colleagues was briefed on what to do if I went into labour whilst we were away. All was good. I appreciate that Peterborough is not Germany though!

almmummy Fri 01-Apr-16 12:59:41

I think do whatever you can to reduce your anxiety. After my MMC my consultant was all about the 'positive hormones' - he really thought it made a difference to feel better about the pregnancy and offered fortnightly scans for reassurance. So if it is playing on your mind a lot just tell your boss you want to give it a miss - at the end of the day you and your baby are the most important thing. Hopefully they'll understand

KatharinaRosalie Fri 01-Apr-16 13:08:31

It's Germany, they have totally adequate medical care - not like you're going to some remote island, where your colleagues are the only support.

I totally understand you're extra careful due to the MMC, but studies have not found that flying is in any way risky. Of course, by 15 weeks the miscarriage risk is also very small.
And yes, the risk of being caught in a terror attack is about the same as winning Euromillions. Not something to be overly worried about.

So I would go. Went on several work trips when pregnant myself, no issues. (Except that everybody wants to discuss your pregnancy and future plans, even people you have just met!)

Seekingmiracles Sat 02-Apr-16 08:21:51

Ive got a history of recurrent miscarriage and my consultant who is a leader in the field saw no reason why I couldn't fly. And that was at 6weeks and for 7hours. It won't increase your chances of miscarrying again.
If it is purely the worry then I'd agree for now and then when you feel ready to tell your employer about this pregnancy explain why you don't want to go

eurochick Sat 02-Apr-16 09:04:33

You will be fine, really. I travel quite a bit for work and did so in pregnancy. The pregnancy was a 4th round IVF pregnancy and I had miscarried a previous IVF pregnancy. I also bled for three weeks in my first tri. My only concession was to limit myself to places with good medical care, so Israel, France, the US were all fine. I wasn't asked to visit anywhere developing or remote but if I had been I would have thought twice about it.

Flying in pregnancy is really fine.

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