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Third trimester and feel a sudden sense of impending doom ....

(11 Posts)
MissN92 Tue 12-Jan-16 16:04:13

Hello,

Advice needed please! I am now in my 3rd trimester and suddenly have lost some excitement related to having my baby and instead just feel petrified; of birth mostly (this is my first and I just really cannot picture being able to do it), of motherhood ... of seriously failing; I didn't have the best example with my own mother so am worried of becoming .... well her suppose.
I feel quite alone in this ... while my partner is amazing he is very preoccupied with his goals etc and I have always supported him so don't feel like this can change now and I just really don't want to lose myself either ....
Gosh I don't mean this to sound as horrid as it may be coming accross ... I just suddenly feel a sense if realisation and extreme worry (I am of course still exited ... it's just being drowned out a lot just now) that I am going to fail miserably ...
Any advice is greatly appreciated .... and has anyone else felt this?

Thank you.

lfitzgerald100 Tue 12-Jan-16 16:27:16

Hi,

Big hugs to you! I feel like I could have written that post myself!

I'm 33 weeks and in my second child but had a very traumatic c section with my first so I'm also very petrified of impending birth!

With regards to failing at motherhood!! Everybody goes about motherhood in their own way and as long as your child is fed, clean and happy then you can't go wrong plus there are so many people who will come into your life once your baby is born that you will get all the support you need!

I missed my ante natal classes when my first was born and I was very young so didn't have a clue but now am proud to say I have a healthy happy and very intelligent 7 year old! But I still feel the same this time round! I'm hoping it's like riding a bike! Lol

Have you spoken to your partner about your fears and apprehension? Maybe let him know that your needs are different as birth approaches and what he could do to help?

I hope this was some help to you as it can be such a difficult stage in pregnancy but the end is near and soon you will be holding your beautiful baby and this conversation will feel a million miles away!

Sending you hugs and flowers

timelytess Tue 12-Jan-16 16:40:52

Ha! I was like that, decades ago. My advice to you is learn the breathing exercises. They work.
You won't fail. There's no exam. Its just a case of going with the flow. See you in thirty five years. grin

MaisieDotes Tue 12-Jan-16 16:47:50

Have a look at the book "Birth Skills" by Juju Sundin. It has loads of tips for how to deal with labour and will make you feel more empowered. I'm 37 weeks with my 3rd baby and I'm re-reading it. It makes me feel more in control.

As for your partner, the way things are are totally normal. Pregnancy is just an abstract idea for a lot of men until the baby actually appears. But you shouldn't be afraid to talk to him about things. Only you can experience the pregnancy but he should be there to listen should you need to have a massive moaning session discuss your anxieties.

Unfairestofthemall Tue 12-Jan-16 16:59:24

It's perfectly normal to be scared. I always said when pregnant with DS that I wasn't worried about the labour but having to take the baby home.
Mothers instinct is definitely a thing and all parents make mistakes. I was lucky and we stayed with my mum for the first couple of days so she could show us the ropes, could that possibly be an option? Maybe knowing there's someone there to help you get the hang of things will help. Congratulations and good luck!

MissN92 Tue 12-Jan-16 19:50:30

wipes brow phew!! Thank goodness this is totally normal!! Pregnancy is just such an emotional roller coaster!
Thank you everyone for advice and reassurance! x

sepa Tue 12-Jan-16 19:59:31

I got this when I hit 3rd trimester. The more excited everyone else comes the more I poop myself at everything. I saw a picture of the size position etc of the baby and thought 'that doesn't even look like it will come out of there in a picture how the hell can I do it'

lfitzgerald100 Tue 12-Jan-16 23:05:18

Sepa have you watched the videos on babycentre? About Labor and the pushing that ball through the pelvis! It just made me think ouch!!! Lol

sepa Wed 13-Jan-16 07:17:32

Fitzgerald I'm trying to avoid all videos of it. I don't need to see it to know it's going to hurt! grin

lfitzgerald100 Wed 13-Jan-16 09:29:16

I wish I'd done the same, that was before I found out I'm having a macrosomic baby, now I wish I hadn't looked! Lol

maybebabybee Wed 13-Jan-16 09:36:58

Also 3rd trimester and feeling the same way...I think it's normal smile

I have been reading a hypnobirthing book and just generally reading as much as I can about labour and what to do when the baby comes - having the info makes me feel a bit less freaked out.

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