Was the anxiety around second baby easier?

[Blindfold]

I was feeling shocking so did a pregnancy test. Clear blue digital, came out positive 3+. I am utterly shocked as I am on the pill. I already have a DD (1 year old) and have struggled this past year with a lot of anxiety and feelings of sadness (don't know why.)

I feel a bit panicky about the idea of having another baby again so soon, especially as I feel I haven't fully got myself "back" mentally or physically. I had an EMCS and the scar is still big and ugly and the thought of them opening it up again just fills me with dread. My stomach muscles are really separated and I've barely started the work to get them back together.

I've had stomach cramps for the last week (now I know why) and have been pressing boiling hot water bottles against the pain and producing red rashes on my stomach. I've been taking boiling hot baths, eating raw meat and I spent most of Christmas drunk. I already feel like I must have caused damage.

I have no doubt in my mind that I'll have it, DD has been an absolute joy. It's just me that's the problem, really.

I don't really know what I am hoping for by writing this but I wondered if anyone could give me some positive stories about how the second one was easier because you knew what you were doing?

Was the anxiety generally less? You weren't constantly worried if you left the baby for two seconds it would die? Was there less anxiety over breast feeding? Was it all just more relaxed after you'd done it before?

[Crumbles12]

My DS was a September baby and I would have been about 4 weeks over Xmas that year. I had done a test that had said negative so I had drinks on Xmas day and Boxing Day, it was only a week later still with no af that I checked again and got BFP. DS was absolutely fine, obviously ideally drinking in pregnancy is not reccommended but at this very early stage the baby would not be supported by the placenta yet so it is unlikely they are affected by what you have eaten/drunk.

As for the baths and hot water bottles, they only suggest bath temps to make sure it doesn't make YOU unwell, not the baby, as you could be more prone to feeling faint or unwell if too hot. I wouldn't worry, it's unlikely you would have caused any damage

[MooPointCowsOpinion]

I have anxiety too and the second was so much easier than the first. I feel like a different parent! I had a four year gap though, yours is much smaller. I would really work on your anxiety and your triggers. I also suggest telling everyone close to you that you need support. So often we try to cope alone!