Hi,
I'm new to this forum, I just joined because I have some questions and none of my friends/anyone I know has a baby.
I'm 25 years old, I've been with my boyfriend for around a year. I have PCOS and have periods maybe once every 4 or 5 months and I am overweight so was told before that it's very unlikely I'll be able to conceive naturally, didn't really mind as wasn't really thinking about having kids.
Accidentally got pregnant and found out in August when I was being sick.
Was living with my boyfriend at the time and he said we weren't ready to have a baby and I had to have an abortion, he phoned the clinic and set up the appointment and everything, the nearest appointment was two weeks away and there was lots of conversations/ tears about what to do. He was adamant he didn't want a baby and I didn't really want a baby but there was that niggle in the back of my head that there's a massive chance I shouldn't be able to get pregnant and if I change my mind a few years down the road I might not be able to and I'd regret having an abortion.
I made my mind up to keep the baby and cancelled the appointment for the abortion, told my boyfriend and he didn't talk to me for a couple of days and then asked me to leave his house. So I put everything I owned in my van and stayed between my narrowboat (which I was trying to sell at the time) and my parent's house and sometimes his.
Long story short, me and the boyfriend seem to be getting back on track but we still don't talk about the pregnancy and he doesn't mention it at all.
He didn't come to my scan or midwife appointments. We don't argue, we are back to how we were before, very much in love and having a nice time together but the whole baby thing isn't mentioned.
I have moved back onto my narrowboat and plan on having the baby there, I'm in a different marina that has children and families so it is doable.
But I don't feel excited at all? Everyone around me, my friends, my parents, my brother and sis in law are so excited for me but I don't feel excited at all. I've been sick every day for 5 months and I absolutely hate being pregnant but I'm really worried that I'm not feeling all attached and excited at all (I'm not) I'm not depressed or anything so I don't think it's pre natal depression, I just don't feel excited. I've no idea if my boyfriend is going to take paternity leave to help me? or how he'll help me financially and I just can't imagine having a baby to be honest the more pregnant I get the more I wish I wasn't pregnant so that I could have my old life back.
I work full time and get 6 weeks maternity pay at 90% of my basic and then stat mat pay but I can't see how I can afford to take much time off work yet I don't know how I'll be able to afford nursery so that I can come back to work? I live in Bath and full time nursery is between £1,000 and £1,100 a month - I don't take home much more than that but because I earn "too much" I'm not entitled to any tax credits or anything - I've looked online.
Will my boyfriend come round to the idea when he sees the baby?
Will I suddenly become all attached and maternal or have I made a massive mistake not aborting the baby? My best friend at work is 36 years old and has Crohn's and she's going through IVF with her husband and they've been unable to get pregnant then in the summer she became pregnant but miscarried and I can see the pain and disappointment every month when she realises she's not pregnant - she has everything I don't have - the perfect husband who wants a baby, he earns so much money she wouldn't have to worry about coming back to work if she didn't want to and has the big house and the cars etc but they can't have the baby they desperately want. I'm not married, living on a narrowboat am going to be screwed financially and have a boyfriend that loves me but does not want a child so I've no idea if he'll stick around or if he'll leave yet I got pregnant accidentally even though I'm overweight, have PCOS and hardly ever have a period. Shouldn't I feel like this is a miracle and everything else will work itself out?
Sorry for the long post, any replies would be gratefully received!
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Pregnancy
25 years old, have PCOS, 25 weeks pregnant accidentally. Not excited and not sure if I'll be doing this alone.
5 replies
BrindlePirate · 30/12/2015 14:26
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