Unkind person at work + hormones = lump in my throat

[Esssss]

I am 17 weeks pregnant with a toddler and a partner who is away for 6 weeks. I'm also working full time and quite frankly I am tired and hormonal!

Anyway, there is an individual at work who I have never liked (much senior to me) but I think she is a bully and just quite unpleasant. Anyway, she wasn't very nice to me this morning and said several snide things that made me feel incredibly stupid and completely incompetent at my job. I sat in her office feeling the tears in my eyes. Luckily I didn't cry in front of her!

But anyway, why are some people so nasty? Why am I letting my hormones get the better of me?? What can I do or say if she is mean again that isn't unprofessional?

[Esssss]

Aargh about to go into a meeting again with her. Steeling myself to be strong!!!!

[ImperialBlether]

The way I would deal with it is to think of myself being filmed and recorded, so every single thing I said would be considered and said in a reasonable voice. Think of someone else watching the exchange. They would know she was being a twat. Think of them watching you - now, if you feel strong enough, say something that is clear and strong and in a reasonable voice - something that, if heard by someone else, would be seen as a reasonable thing to say.

Don't worry if your voice trembles. The person watching you would understand that.

[Esssss]

Thank you, doesn't help that I am quite shy and get very tongue tied around her. But I do want to stick up for myself because I'm not stupid!!

[RockerMummy184]

Good advice from imperial, my advice was going to be a full on meltdown somewhere very public (put it on if you have to!) like in the canteen or something. I'm talking full on tears, wobbly lip, foot stamping, shouting 'why are you being so mean to me?! Can't you see I'm pregnant!?' See how uncomfortable she gets!
On a serious note tho, she sounds like a twat and I'm sorry you're having to put up with her.
Is there anyone above her you can speak to? Or even just another colleague who can give you some support when she's being a cow?

[Esssss]

I wouldn't give her the satisfaction that she had upset me!! She doesn't know I'm pregnant, nor would she care!! Everybody at work knows how she is but everyone puts up with it and bows down to her. I can't stand her, I literally hate having to talk to her!!!!

[chopsface]

Awww bless you. I understand completely. I have a nasty bully senior at my work too. I'm 22 weeks preg and was feeling really unwell on Monday and she was so uncaring. I said I needed to go and sit in the tearoom and sip some water for a bit and asked if I could do reduced workload that day. It was either that it go home sick. She said I was 'only pregnant' and it wasn't an illness :-( Cow. Is there someone above your senior you can go to about her? Do you think they might be more sympathetic if they knew you were preg? When is the big reveal?

[cranberryx]

I found that simply turning around when someone is rude to me and replying only with "That's a very upsetting thing to say." And then leaving, has gotten me out of crying or butting someone's head into the table.

[Klee81]

Great advise ImperialBlether :)

[Ahemily]

What imperial said.

Poor you, what a caaah.

[Esssss]

Total caaah! It wouldn't make a blind bit of difference if she knew I was pregnant! And really I don't think there's no point in complaining, I'm a contract worker so have no sway really. But next time I'm definitely going to try and say something back to her. Just had a bad morning!!

[scarednoob]

When this happened to me, I had a little mantra in my head that I chanted to myself - it stopped me from crying. You could try that and see if it works.

Now some people might pick something spiritual. Personally I went for this (don't play at work unless you have headphones!!):

[saintlyjimjams]

Ha I love that noob - going to learn it to use in my head when necessary....

OP - you sound like you're doing well. How much longer until your contract is up? Are you counting down the days?

[scarednoob]

Yep. It helped me on many occasions during one job!

Hopefully OP can learn it too and sing it LOUDLY when she leaves the job like bridget jones and her "wiping saddam hussein's arse" exit line...