When to reveal.......

[Labradormummy]

Hi all, I'm after some advice. I'm currently six weeks pregnant and am wondering if there is a right time to tell family, friends and work?

My partner and I are super excited and have known since the 31st of July and we can't wait to tell close family!! I will have to tell my family before the end of the month as I have a spa day booked and will be limited in the facilities I can use but am worried that it may be too soon.

The other issue I have is that due to the work that I do, I would have to tell work and be placed on restricted duties but I don't want to tell work before I tell my family.

I don't want to risk saying anything too soon but equally, I don't want to wait to tell work until the end of the month in case anything happens. Any advice gratefully received xx

[chopsface]

Congratulations!! I told work before I told my parents I have to say! I had to be on restricted duties too. We told dh's parents at 7 weeks and my parents at 9 weeks. The reason being is that they don't live near and those were the times we were visiting them! I told my best friend the day I poas and other friends and family at 12 weeks or later, when we saw them basically. The seniors at work knew and kept me off certain duties but the majority of the others were not as observant as I thought they would be and I told the rest of work at 16 weeks! I could get away with it as I wasn't showing til 18 or 19 weeks!

But it's personal choice, have fun doing it and good luck with your pregnancy!! X

[BlueKarou]

Most of my immediate family knew from the start (IVF and a mother who was too excited to be able to keep secrets!)

I told friends early on as we do a shared hobby which involves heavy lifting and some camping, so they would have noticed my increased drugs regime. Plus I figured I would tell them if anything bad happened, so it felt safer telling them 'early'.

I told my manager at 9 weeks, a few days before my booking in appointment.

Aunts and cousins were told at 12 weeks, a day or two after the 12 week scan (which was last Thursday)

Work colleagues were told yesterday; 12+6.

I'll be doing a fb post tonight (not sharing the scan pic, but something more generic and less intimate) because I have a number of former colleagues on there/people at my current job but in far enough away departments that they wouldn't hear of it through the normal gossip channels.

That should be everyone, and I can finally breathe easy and not have to worry about who knows what! (Although not everyone knows it was IVF with donor sperm, and I'm not sure who's assuming I have a partner/husband, or who's thinking I had a ONS and doesn't know how to ask if that was the case!)

[insertimaginativeusername]

As above, it's personal choice but if you're in a similar line of work to me where restricted duties are necessary then I would suggest informing work for the protection against potential risk to you and your unborn child - maybe ask for a "secondment" to another department or a "project"?

As for family, tell them when you feel comfortable/confident x

[BexusSugarush]

Congratulations! When you tell people can depend on many things in your life; how supportive your family will be, at which point you will need to change your work load etc. You would usually be told to wait until the 12 week scan to make anything public, just to check everything is okay with the baby and yourself.

Personally, we told our close family immediately (around 6 weeks), told my HR manager at work in confidence soon after, then after the 12 week scan we made it public.

Do not put off telling your HR manager if you believe your job may be too much for you, there are laws to protect you and the most important thing now is yours and baby's health :)

[Roseybee10]

With both my girls we told immediate family as soon as we found out (4weeks).
We had two previous early miscarriages and didn't tell anyone and it was horrible then having to explain. I found it really hard trying to hide it from my close family too.

With dd1 I found out on Xmas eve and just told our parents on Christmas Day as it would have been fairly obvious if I wasn't drinking
Second dd I had organised a cocktail night with all of the women from hubby's family so again I just thought it was easier to tell them than stress myself trying to hide it.

I told work first time at 6 weeks because I had an early scan. Second time I was 9 weeks and told my boss because we were about to stop for summer holidays and I didn't want to come back sporting an obvious bump without having told her.

It's completely personal but I would tell people if you want to. I hate the taboo that you can't say anything until the 12 week mark. Obviously I wasn't announcing it to all and sundry or putting things on Facebook but i also hate lying and pretending.

[Emileelogan]

Im 5+5 and both sets of our parents know and I've told my best mate and he has told his. . Like roseybee said it's easier if things don't go as planned and ur support are ready and waiting for u... Everyone else can wait till Facebook status goes up

[TryToBePositive]

With our 1st baby we told everyone the dag we found out ( had been trying for 3 years so we were thrilled )

2nd/3rd pregnancy only told family ( i suppose a good thing because the babies didnt stay around )

4th pregnancy told my family & 1 friend until the 12 week scan