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How do you tell people what you ...

(18 Posts)
Glindathegoodwitch Mon 03-Aug-15 15:59:50

do and don't like/want without offending anyone?

For example, I do not want to use lotions/potions/creams/wet wipes on my babies lovely fresh skin, I HATE Disney clothing and anything with big cartoon characters all over them etc and I LOVE babies to be in cream/beige outfits, traditional knitted things, not all this high fashion pink for girl, blue for boy, jeans and converse etc.

This isn't my PFB and I don't mean to come across ungrateful, it's just that I would rather people didn't waste their money on things that I will not use or be offended if I exchanged something I didn't like.

Like, how do you drop things into conversation before they start going all ga-ga and baby shopping mental...? but without offending anyone?

bonzo77 Mon 03-Aug-15 16:08:11

You don't. You accept with grace. No one usually questions if the stuff got worn. Return as much as you can: shops will give credit notes if no receipt but still current stock. Re gift/ eBay / donate the rest. If the gift comes from someone likely to get the hump if they don't see the baby wearing it, then you'll have to dress baby in the outfit when you see them, then eBay it! Or take photos without removing tags before returning it! Quite often the baby grows out of stuff before it has a chance to wear it.

I'm 33 weeks with DS3 and have similar issues. Had a massive selling spree of all the unused / unwanted stuff that I still had from DS2 (having returned all the returnable stuff right after I received it). Have made enough cash to get stuff I really want/ need.

soloula Mon 03-Aug-15 16:23:14

I suppose it depends on the person. I've been quite up front with my mum about what I like and don't like and she now texts me photos when she's in a shop lol just to check if it's ok as she knows it probably won't get worn otherwise. She sees the sense in not getting something that won't get used and prefers to check but other folk aren't so easy going and as bonzo says, it's just a case of accepting with a smile and then dealing with it how you can - eBay, return for vouchers etc.

If it's a close friend or family member that you may be out at the shops with or watching TV or something that would give you the opportunity to voice your opinions pre-emptively then that's always an option too lol. "Why do folk dress their DCs in Disney clothes/sweetie pinks etc - I hate that". Then hopefully it's taken on board by them for when buying for little one.

Thurlow Mon 03-Aug-15 16:31:00

It depends who they are. With close friends and colleagues you might have the opportunity to casually drop into conversation that you don't like character clothing, or you don't like lotions, but only if it comes out naturally and in no way implies that you are implying what they can and can't buy you. Because, of course, you're then assuming that they are buying something for you grin

Everyone else you just smile, thank them, and then try and regift, or give to charity, or just put the baby in it on a day when you've gone through 83 changes already...

Glindathegoodwitch Mon 03-Aug-15 16:34:10

Phew! Thought I was going to get some hate for a moment there!

That's a very sneaky idea bonzo with the photographs! I like it haha

I agree soloula - there are some people that I can be outright with. It helps at the moment that my SIL has had a baby and I can say to people about the things I like/dislike that she has had. Also, some the IL's family have been upset that she hasn't put on the homemade things that she got them so I know I am ok on that side.

I shall be very gracious smile

Glindathegoodwitch Mon 03-Aug-15 16:35:14

Sounds familiar thurlow 83 changes is just a casual day hey!

mummyneedinganswers Mon 03-Aug-15 16:43:32

Im the opposite of you but was wondering the same thing. I hate frilly dresses and knitted stuff probably because I don't like knitted on me. And I don't like creams and simple colors, but I've been wondering how to broach this subject to. MIL keeps showing me pictures of frilly dresses and bonnet hats etc and eventually we just told her we ddon't like them. Others I think its rude to say to as I don't want them to think I'm expecting them to buy to her. I would drop it into conversations though that's what I've been trying to do with other just like oh I hate frilly dresses on baby's another thing I don't like is headbands on babies so I've been dropping that one too but whether people take notice to it is another thing x

mrstothemr Mon 03-Aug-15 21:31:39

Part of it is the pleasure people get by buying stuff they like for the little one, so it can be pretty tricky. Agree with the eBay route, if you don't see them often they'll never know and if you do see them frequently they'll catch on quick about the things you do / don't dress the baby in.

My mum still occasionally buys things for our 2yo ds that I wouldn't, but the pleasure it gives her means I do try him in it sometimes when she visits. I think she appreciates that we try it out even though it's not of the style we give him.

Roseybee10 Tue 04-Aug-15 05:17:48

It bothered me with dd1 - I hated anything with characters on it, hated pink, hated dresses etc.
dd2 I've just not even thought about it. I've just dressed her in anything she's gotten and ended up liking most of the stuff I didn't think I'd like when I opened the gifts.

The one thing j hate is getting really fancy dresses for babies because you never get them into them. It's such a waste. Dd2 got given about 4 really fancy dresses by the same person in the same size and I feel rotten that she's not had most of them on as she's not had an occasion to wear them!

Personally I wouldn't say anything but that's just my personality. If you would rather say then go for it.

BeautifulBatman Tue 04-Aug-15 05:24:57

I'm the same. I hate branded stuff (winnie the pooh, Disney etc), anything with words on it, proper clothes (sleepsuits all the way until at least a year old). I don't mind girly/boyish things - all this new age gender neutral crap drives me potty. And denim - aaarrggghhh. It should be illegal for under twos. Q

Bellabutterfly2014 Tue 04-Aug-15 07:02:55

Has anyone seen the baby clothes in river island ? One word, offensive!!! I agree with beautiful batman - denim should be banned and just because a 18 year old might like an outfit to go clubbing in does not mean it should be replicated in baby size!!! I went in there to buy a necklace is seen in a magazine and I was shocked!!!!

Roseybee10 Tue 04-Aug-15 08:32:03

I love denim on my two ��

AbbeyRoadCrossing Tue 04-Aug-15 09:14:33

I'd just accept the gifts gratefully and put them to other uses:
Wipes etc your baby is allergic to - clean the house with them, wipe highchair etc - very useful
Clothes you don't like - save some for sick days. There will be some days when your baby isn't well and you just know some clothes are going to get messed up.
People don't really ask if they were worn anyway and if they do question it you can say he/she has grown out of it or doesn't fit it yet.
I swapped quite a few things that were the wrong size / season at shops too so you could do this.

NicNak22 Tue 04-Aug-15 18:22:20

bella I've just looked at river islands baby range, I want aware newborns needed hot pants!

IfYouWereARiverIdLearnToFloat Tue 04-Aug-15 21:42:20

I had a peek at RI's kids collection - have you read the descriptions of some of the items?

"With chunky RI-branded straps, this bright pink crop top is a directional choice for her off-duty wardrobe."

When is a 3 year old off-duty??!? Am I missing something?

Maybe you could use that Glinda... "I'm sorry but my baby isn't ready to make such a directional choice for her off duty wardrobe."

Bellabutterfly2014 Wed 05-Aug-15 05:49:52

Hey nicnak - yes I have to say I was shocked by that too! I mean the question just has to be why?!?!?! Or more to the point who on earth would be buying them!!!!!!

Ifiwereariver - I'm expecting my first baby but from what I've heard neither of us will be "off duty" I've heard it's full on!!!!!!

And as for making a directional choice - seriously? Where do river island recruit these people from!!!!!

mrscatmad31 Wed 05-Aug-15 10:56:57

I have a phobia of giraffes (random I know!) and there's so much baby stuff with giraffes on its ridiculous, I've tried dropping it into conversation but I know people will still give me stuff with them on, going to just smile and say thank you and then eBay it!

happymummyone Wed 05-Aug-15 11:14:28

I'm picky about clothes too! I'm expecting a boy and I don't like to see a baby dressed up as a little toddler from birth, I'd much prefer him to live in sleep suits and cardigans for the first 6months, so I'd really like to not be given tiny pairs of jeans and shoes and tshirts. Especially tops that say things like 'I'm the boss' or 'little monster' or 'here comes trouble' but people will buy these! And I don't think there is any way to stop them. I'm just hoping they provide receipts! smile

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