Due to be induced with my first baby on Saturday, not expecting the baby to come before then but she may, and all of a sudden - after 9 months of being uber chill about the whole business (although very excited) I have suddenly got The Fear in a big way. Some reassurance please?
I am scared about the birth - I thought I was hardcore but I had a sweep on Tuesday and it really knocked the stuffing out of me and that's nothing compared to what the birth will be like. Plus, having had an iron stomach my whole life I appear to have become a pukey-lucy since I've been pregnant and I am convinced I am going to be throwing up the whole time. I know that's probably going to be nothing compared to the pain but it's not nice, is it?
I am scared about after the birth - I am on antidepressents and have a long history of severe depression that has been (for the last 5 years or so) very well managed with medication. Thankfully I was allowed to continue on Sertraline 50mg throughout the pregnancy and have had absolutely no antenatal depression but this sudden fear feels very overwhelming and hormonal and I worry it is a taste of what is to come when the baby comes.
What if I don't bond with my baby? I love kids and I bond with them really well but newborns are...harder to see the cute/funny? I'm sort of banking on the big hormonal rush sorting me out and I won't beat myself up if it doesn't come but I feel like a bit of a monster even thinking like that.
Sorry, this is a bit of a rant - just need to get it out there.
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Pregnancy
Woah. The fear.
6 replies
purplebiro · 28/05/2015 20:35
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