Hey ladies,
I do have a history of anxiety but I think now I am expecting, mixed with hormones as well, the stress levels have risen? I am really struggling going into the city every day on packed horrible tubes with rude people that don't care about anyone else except themselves, and basically everything has become a mound from a molehill to me in general now, and I know it shouldn't because stress is bad but I can't help control it, I am getting so worked up about everything now and feel sick and exhausted with work and finding everything is getting in top of me, .. I have taken a couple of days of work and waiting for an appt to see GP, which I couldn't get one today, what else can I do? I eat sensibly, I exercise and walk, I rest where I can and read books to help relax but as soon as I get home from work nothing helps calm me down especially as there are some rude people on the trains and everything gets to me so much more now and I'm very defensive , does anybody know what I mean and what else I can do? It's definitely a good idea to see GP before going back to work? Or shall I go back and wait until I get an appt? Just finding it all too
Much and worrying over everything including taking the day off now,
Thank you in advance , TF X
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Pregnancy
Constantly stressing over anything
Toothfairy7 · 26/05/2015 11:19
Toothfairy - I also work in central London and have to commute. I'm only 14 weeks atm, so I don't need to worry about seats and stuff just yet, but I am gobsmacked at how rude people are.
The other day, I was waiting on the platform as my train pulled in to the station, and a guy just pushed his way right in front of me. I was really angry - I was travelling off peak that day, the platform was quiet and there was just absolutely no need for it.
I can't remember if these sorts of things happened before I got knocked up, or if I am now just much, much less tolerant, but commuting is really testing my patience at the moment 
Poor Toothfairy, sorry you're feeling so stressed. I really sympathise with the feeling you describe of "boiling up inside" - I'm 38 weeks and have had a few periods of feeling really overwhelmed with stressy thoughts during my pregnancy.
The key thing that's worked for me and helped me to get back a sense of calm and control is to try to interrupt the negative thoughts and stop them coming in the first place. It involves a bit of work but it's worth it.
In my case I started by sitting down with pen and paper and listing the kind of things that were bothering me. For me these were mostly family issues and for each one I had to work out what exactly was bothering or stressing me out, what was I afraid of? Once I'd done that I was able to work out alternative, more positive thoughts, and each time I felt a negative thought coming up I could then stop it, repeat the positive thoughts to myself, and basically shut the whole spiral of worry and stress down before it started. For a while I actually carried my positive thoughts around on bits of paper and got them out each time a bad thought started coming up, but now I don't even need to do that, they just come naturally.
In your case it sounds like people on the tube are one your big stresses, but you could say the following things to yourself:
- Where possible, I will take the tube at quieter times and this will make my life much easier.
- Even at busy times, I can always ask for a seat and 99% of the time I will get one, so really I'm lucky.
- The fact that I have to ask or that people are a bit grumpy has no bearing on me, it's just part of living in a big city. All that matters is that I get home, and once there I can have a nice hot bath or shower, light a nice scented candle and listen to some lovely music, mmmm
.
Anyway these are just some ideas but you get the gist. My partner actually helped me come up with my positive thoughts which is great too as he can remind me of them if I'm getting stressed. He was a t a loss as to what to do with me before but now he knows that I just need reassurance, and he has a script to give it to me.
Another thing that's been very helpful for me is to listen to hypnobirthing tracks while I'm on public transport. If you have an iphone you can download one called Effective Birth Preparation by a woman called Maggie Howell for Âť7.99. Even if you're not into the idea of hypnobirthing itself the track is just so relaxing. There is also an app by a woman called Katharine Graves which has really nice positive affirmations and then a (slightly weird but very calming) relaxation about tropical fish - it's in the app store for Âť3.99. You can also listen to them in the evening for added relaxation. Anyway I better get off mumsnet now but hope these thoughts have been helpful. I can honestly say they have helped me to get back a sense of calm and happiness so I can just enjoy being pregnant. Hope they do the same for you xx
I can't help much on the relaxation stuff but have you tried
- Going all the way to the end of the platform and getting on the first or last carriages? Even if you have to let a train go by in order to get yourself in the right position. Even in rush hour it can be materially quieter and if you are on the yellow line to get in first you can move down the carriage faster.
- Get a baby on board badge and wear it religiously somewhere prominent
- Stand in front of the mirror and practice saying at a confident level "I am 6 months pregnant, would someone mind offering me their seat as far as X destination". Then do it.
- Make sure you change your shoes for commuting - something flat with support
- Reduce your load as much as possible to a small bag with water and the bare essentials.
- You don't say what you do all day - are you office based or do you do a job where set hours need to be covered? I found it was much easier to come in late for 10am when I was heavily pregnant and leave at 6/6.30. I'm office based but it was much harder to leave at 4pm - something always came up.
- Last resort - the madwoman tactic. Get on the train, sing loudly, talk to yourself, or say random things to total strangers while invading their personal space. You'll get lots of space very quickly ...
Haha tread softly ... Thank you also!! I do every single one of those tips... I learned along the way ... I go to last carriages ... Make myself seen so I can get on first ( doesn't always work as people are arses ) ... I wear a badge religiously above my breast... Take a little handbag with a bottle of water only ... And I always speak politely but loudly 'excuse me would somebody mind giving up a seat?' And yes it always works in the end but it's the whole rigmarole I think really .. (Is that a word? Lol) and people in general!!!!! Grrrr! Not just that but it's hot, claustrophobic, too busy at the times I use it ( but that will change slightly soon hopefully ) and I have no other option!!!
As for work I am a dental nurse in one of the hospitals in Central London so a lot of walking about and standing , however everyone's lovely with me generally so I do get to sit too but there's a lot that can't be avoided of course 
Thought it might help to smile a bit - plus it's always a bit of fun to think about winding people up even if you never do it. It is a rigmarole but one of the joys of London living.
First child so you are not dashing home to pick up an older child from a nursery? Have you had a look to see if there is a swimming pool anywhere near your work? If you went for a swim after work it would be a nice way to wind down mentally, and cool down over the summer. Assuming you can swim obviously but there are also antenatal swim classes in lots of gyms.
Preg Yoga might be another one to try but I am recalling my elephant feet in a hot London July and how much of a difference being in a pool made.
If you were me, I'd just pop myself into one of those lovely comfy dental chairs and have a nap for an hour before heading home when it's a bit quieter.
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