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Aaaargh, annoyed with midwife appointment

(15 Posts)
ILiveOnABuildsite Tue 06-Jan-15 15:24:07

Just come back from routine midwife appointment, I'm 24w4d so not even sure why I had this appointment at it's normally at 26 weeks but the appointment was made for me and I didn't question it. This was my third time seeing the midwife since becoming pregnant and I have yet to see the same midwife more then once. The first one I saw changed locations between my first and second appointment, the second one told me she was replacing her and would be here for the long run but today I saw someone else. The one I saw today wasn't familiar with the practice so didn't now where anything was or how to adjust the bed which I know isn't the end of the world or her fault but she was quite unprofessional about it, getting quite frustrated about it all and marching around the room constantly muttering that she didn't know where stuff was so I was going to have to make do without.

I know none of these things actually matter much and I'm just having a bit of a rant but I was quite frustrated as this is my second pregnancy and I had quite a difficult second half of second/third trimester with dd three years ago and there were I few things I wanted to discuss with the midwife but between her agitation and the fact that she just wasn't very friendly/approachable I wasn't really able to. I tried to but I don't think she understood that these were genuine concerns of mine as I didn't really get a response other than "all pregnancies are different, so don't worry".

Also a bit put off by the fact that she started pointing out stretch marks to me saying I was getting quite stretched, I'm really not! A few of my old stretch marks from when I had dd are darkening a little but for all intent and purpose I have barely changed shaped yet in this pregnancy and I am barely showing so I am not getting stretched out just yet. And I think I know which stretch marks have been there since last time and which haven't as I only have a handful of them and I'm quite familiar with them. She also wouldn't let me ge off the bed until I demonstrated that I knew how to roll off the bed rather than just get out normally and she insisted that it was a skill I needed to master because as I got bigger I wouldn't be able to just get out of bed. Well I have been pregnant before and she knows this, not only because 3yo dd was in the room with me, I can roll off a bed and I know I will get bigger.

Again I know this doesn't matter at all in the grand scheme of things but it annoyed me, it made me feel like a disobedient child when she stood over me and demanded that I get off the bed her way or not at all. I think it's because she was a bit harsh in her mannerism. Anyway, bit of a pointless rant I guess but feel better for writing it down. Thanks for reading if you get that far, sorry it's so long.

sleepybee Wed 07-Jan-15 06:53:56

Oh dear no advice but I'm now dreading my appointment today. I hope they don't make me do the roll off the bed thing!

MrsN1984 Wed 07-Jan-15 07:27:57

I haven't seen the same one twice and I'm 35+4.
So disorganised, often late and no relationship built.
Thankfully I'm under consultant care too but I feel your pain confused

ILiveOnABuildsite Wed 07-Jan-15 07:45:21

sleepybee it's the first time the rolling off the bed thing has happened to me, that's why I was so surprised. I hope your appointment goes well today.

I saw the same midwife throughout my first pregnancy and although we didn't get on like a house on fire she was very professional and kind and there was consistency.

Oh well, it was nice to have a moan at least, thank you for reading and replying.

Sonics Wed 07-Jan-15 07:55:25

Can't believe she made you practice rolling off the bed. How patronising!! And also when you get to the rolling stage it's not like you really have much of a choice anyway. I find I either roll or my fat ass ain't going anywhere.

Hope you don't see her again and your future appointments are better

ILiveOnABuildsite Wed 07-Jan-15 11:02:19

I know what made it worst was that she kept telling me that as my pregnancy progresses I was going to get bigger! Now I think all of us can probably suss that one out for ourselves but this is my second pregnancy (she knew that because I had my daughter with me and we had just talked about my first pregnancy) so I not only know I will be getting bigger but I've had to do the whole rolling out of bed before. Like you said it's that or stay in bed!

TollyBB Wed 07-Jan-15 11:45:23

Just wait till you get bigger and then ROLL ON HER! grin

Beinghere Wed 07-Jan-15 11:54:16

she kept telling me that as my pregnancy progresses I was going to get bigger

Think the response should have been

"No Sh*t Sherlock"

capecath Wed 07-Jan-15 12:23:20

Maybe it is a new regulation or something, I was also shown how to roll off the bed at last check and this is my third pregnancy! But I actually found it a useful tip and helps my back. Sounds like an annoying appointment hmm... She does sound unprofessional about it all. Personally I have seen so many different midwives I don't even know any of their names, I think I have only seen one of them more than once!! It's annoying when you have genuine concerns and they are just not taken seriously... You could try us?! ;)

ILiveOnABuildsite Wed 07-Jan-15 13:35:39

You might be right Capecath it could be new regulation and I probably wouldn't have minded if she had said something along the lines of "we're just all making sure you are aware of the benefits of rolling off the bed rather than hopping off" or something like that. But she was very harsh about it and I felt she was unprofessional, it was quite an annoying appointment.

My concerns about the birth were relating to induction. I had to be induced with my daughter because of gd that was so out of control I was on huge doses of insulin by the end. The induction went very badly for me and for my daughter, although we were both fine in the end it was very stressful and unpleasant for both of us and my mil who was in the labour room with us thought dd was dead when she was born and that was very upsetting for her. I have been told by midwives and a consultant that it's seem more than likely I will develop gd again this time and will probably have to be induced again. I'm now at about the same time in pregnancy as when I got my diagnosis last time and it's affecting me a little emotionally and psychologically. I worry about everything I eat, I feel myself obsessing about doing 30mins medium exercise after everything I eat I am so desperate to avoid gd or at least control it better. I know I'm being ridiculous, and I know I'm obsessing over things that are mostly out of my hands and that it won't do any good to over worry about these things but I really thought my daughter was going to die when she was born I do think it's because of the way the induction went. It just didn't work properly for me, my contractions stopped and couldn't be started again when dd was entering the birth canal, too late for c-section, and she got very distressed and her heart rate dropped hugely but she couldn't get out because my body couldn't push her out. I went into shock after the birth and couldn't hold her for gas and I had 57 stitches.

It's probably not very coherent which is also why I struggled so much to communicate it to midwife and I don't even know what I wanted her to tell me but I would have like to discuss it with her rather than have my concerns brushed aside.

Threeplus1 Wed 07-Jan-15 13:53:18

That sounds awful OP. You'd think that midwife's would be more understanding and supportive but i have heard some horror stories. I've been lucky to always have had nice midwives, though My current one is by far the loveliest, warmest and most supportive I've ever had.

I had my first 3 children in the UK and saw the same two midwives throughout all of the pregnancies, but different ones through labour for my first two (shift changes etc) and a different one every visit after birth for all three. I'm now in Canada and although midwifery care isn't the default, if you do opt for it, as I have done for my now 4th pregnancy, the care is amazing. I'll see the same midwife (plus back up) all through pregnancy, labour and delivery. I was also told that should I need to go into hospital at all for any concerns, my midwife or back up would meet me there. They are very committed to continuity of care. And maybe because midwifery is still not the default option, they are very passionate about what they do and about gaining mainstream acceptance.

blackwidow74 Wed 07-Jan-15 16:11:15

My concern is ... she is sup posed to own most if not all of the equipment she will need for a routline appt and if unfamiliar with the surgery she should have employed they regular staff to do a walkthru with her so that she knew and gad everything to hand rather than wasting valuable appointment time!!

I agree ... totally unprofessional! Much like my midwife whom I text three hours ago to ask about reduced movement at 25 weeks and to say my anxiety is through roof (my last preg ended in stillbirth) and I'm still waiting on a reply!!

3littlefrogs Wed 07-Jan-15 16:16:52

She sounds a bit unprofessional, but, to be fair she is only trying to protect you from back pain and injury. You can end up with long term back problems if you don't do the rolling method for getting out of bed/off the couch.
Ditto getting in and out of the car keeping your legs together and turning your hips.

3littlefrogs Wed 07-Jan-15 16:18:27

blackwidow - maybe she is delivering a baby or something.
If you are worried about reduced movement you should be phoning the labour ward.

Mum2B2first Mon 12-Jan-15 02:26:29

I am dreading my midwife appointment!?! So feel your pain. My sister is also pregnant just now, she is 16w and I am 6w and she says she is just the rudest woman. She is seemingly quite old school sister/matron like!!

Sorry to hear about your experience, I feel for you, as I am also dreading mine!!

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