Scared of...everything

[magneticfield55]

I'm 27 weeks pregnant and scared of everything and anything going wrong.

The things I'm most frightened of are autism and cystic fibrosis. I know there are far worse things. But autism terrifies me as it seems everybody I know who has a son has an autistic son. Some of their children are okay but I know 3 people whose sons are so severely autistic they're non-verbal and institutional care. They adore their kids but things have been so hard for everyone. The thought of not being able to communicate with my child and vice versa is horrifying to me. I don't know how I would cope with it. I am frightened it would be my fault (I have read that mothers with psychiatric histories have a higher risk- I do). I cried when I found out we were having a boy as the risk of autism is much higher. I don't want to offend anyone with this and I'm sorry if I do.

I am petrified of something going wrong during the birth and more and more so the closer it comes. I know birth trauma can cause all sort of disabilities. I've had no problems so far but I'm overweight and pretty unfit and frightened I'm not going to be able to do it and they'll be stuck and brain damaged.

Also worried about cystic fibrosis. My friend's wife has just died of this and he's devastated. She had a wonderful positive life but watching her family torn apart is shattering.

Does anyone else have these fears? Did anything help?

[magneticfield55]

Oh yay, my name change didn't work. Sorry about that.

[foxyfemke]

I don't really have any advice, but didn't want to read and run.

Do you suffer from anxiety outside of pregnancy? Is there a professional you could talk to about this?

[magneticfield55]

Yes, I have GAD and panic disorder. My anxiety about everything had calmed down quite considerably lately but seems to be coming back. I'm under perinatal mental health team but I know they're just going to say I can't control it so stop worrying. I was supposed to be referred to therapy- nothing has happened on that front.

[applecatchers36]

A certain amount of worry is normal , I know I had fleeting thoughts about both the conditions you describe but it sounds like these are more than fleeting thoughts and you are becoming quite anxious and distressed. Have you tried pregnancy yoga, relaxing & good to be in the body & not the mind. Also mindfulness can be helpful to address anxious thoughts like these. Free resources at freebuddhistaudio.com, like talks and downloadable walk through meditations.

[enqueue]

Hopefully a specific point that might help:
Cystic fibrosis is one of the better understood genetic disorders. It is caused by a single gene mutation and you have to have two dodgy copies to have the disease, ie. one from mum and one from dad. I would think it would be very unlikely for both you and your OH to be carriers of the disease, especially without either of you knowing about it, without it having shown up at some point in either family in the past.
I know I'm a bit more obsessed with fitness than most people, and it goes without saying that you shouldn't push yourself excessively whilst expecting, but would it help to set yourself a very gentle and attainable exercise programme? Maybe walking, yoga, gentle swimming? It would focus your mind on something positive perhaps?

[magneticfield55]

I can't afford a yoga class but would like to try some of the pregnancy yoga videos on YouTube.

[blackwidow74]

We all worry and some more than others ... ! It may be worth chasing the mental health team and letting them know you are struggling but something to remembe is this ... very few labour complications arise due to your own ability to birth and you will be closely monitored throughout so any sign of baby being distressed will be noticed and dealt with immediately ... These things happen but not nearly as often as a straight forward healthy delivery so when that thought takes hold go read a few success stories to ease your mind ... definitely find some gentle exercise that suits ... even a 30 minute walk is good ... It will not only help with your health but will also give you time out from sitting and stewing ... set a target each day and you will be amazed at the sense of achievement you get from slowly taking back control :) and you have us lot on hand x