Accidental pregnancy

[goatsocks]

Sorry this is long.

My period is five days late and I'm an anxious sort, so yesterday I took two pregnancy tests and both were positive. Now I really don't know how I feel. Can't believe it tbh.

I'm 25, in a long-term relationship and a stable job that I love. A baby is something that my boyfriend and I have talked about... but looooong in the future. We live in London and can barely afford to look after ourselves. I've told him and he's equally bewildered, but supportive and lovely.

We had a condom breaking incident two and a half weeks ago and I took the morning after pill. So now on top of everything else I'm worried that because I took the MAP it will be ectopic, or that if I do decide to go ahead with it, the MAP will have done some damage.

I'm not actually registered with a GP (typical disorganised twentysomething... argh) so I need to sort that out today don't I.

Basically I'd like to know what the GP will ask me - will they expect me to have decided what to do? Will they judge me for it being an accident? Also I'd really appreciate hearing from people who have been in a similar situation, whatever they decided in the end. How did it work out?

Thanks feeling quite vulnerable and stupid atm.

[Scoobsmam13]

Its a situation many have found themselves in, including myself. Im older than you, and have a DD almost 6, but this baby was a complete surprise to us both. I spoke to a family planning clinic and was given the number of BPAS and some leaflets about my options. I didn't feel there was any judging involved anywhere down the line.
To be honest for me there was no real choice as realistically I was always going to go ahead with the pregnancy (although he was less sure) I was just going through the motions because of the shock. But like I said I am older, have a child, a supportive family and friends network, good job etc. But just because it was the right decision for me, doesn't mean its the right decision for anyone else. Speak to as many people as you can and look into all your options, then make the right informed choice for you. The fact your partner is supportive is great, but you have to do what is right for you.

[goatsocks]

Thanks Scoobs. That's really helpful. Lots of thinking to do.

Another pos this morning, with a really strong line.

I've phoned and tried to register with four local GPs just now but all of them say I can't register until mid-August at the earliest because of waiting lists! Bloody hell.

[Scoobsmam13]

I didn't go to the Dr until I was 8 weeks and knew my decision. Maybe try a family planning clinic, and maybe have a look at the BPAS website. Mid-August is a long time to wait.
Its really tough when you first find out, feels like your head is going to explode!

[goatsocks]

Yeah definitely feels like that! Good to know there is a bit of time.

[Noyoucantwatchpeppapig]

I had a MAP failure pregnancy, it was a massive shock and it took me quite a while to get used to the idea that I had got pregnant accidentally. I though accidental pregnancy happen to teenagers not 29 year old proffessionals. The midwife wasn't concerned about the MAP when we saw her.
I had DD and wouldn't change anything now.
Try 111 to find a GP who can take you on more quickly. Also some walk in centres will let you register with them so that they are then you GP.

[OneLittleToddleTerror]

Definitely contact some family planning clinic first in your area. However beware many of them are funded by anti-abortion group so do look into their backgrounds. (I assume you want unbiased advice from people who won't judge or pressure you into any decision).

Scoobs is right about the 8 weeks. That will be your first booking in appointment for your antenatal care if you decided to keep the baby.

Take care of yourself and really take the time to decide what's best for you.

[goatsocks]

Thanks so much - I feel less alone. And Noyoucantwatch, that's v reassuring that it didn't cause you any problems and there was a happy ending.

Yes definitely would like unbiased advice. Despite the difficulty in getting to see a GP (I will try 111/walk-ins next), I am so glad I live in a country where whatever happens, it's not actually that big a deal and I won't be drummed out of town/forced to bleed to death in an alleyway, depending.

The shock hasn't actually set in yet because I still don't really believe it can be true.

[goatsocks]

111 were rubbish and just referred me to Care Confidential who I'm pretty sure are some of those evil scaremongers I've read about.

Instead I rang and got an appointment with bpas on Monday for a consultation, which apparently includes a scan. Feels real now.

[seasavage]

That's good work goatsocks. Best wishesx

[Noyoucantwatchpeppapig]

That's good goatsocks, hope that it goes ok. BPAS will be able to help you come to an informed decision better than a random GP.
Good luck whatever you decide to do.

[OneLittleToddleTerror]

Good luck goatsocks. Yes, that's the article I read about the issue. Sadly these faith based groups have a lot of money behind them.

[Scoobsmam13]

Im glad you will be able to chat through things with someone soon goats. Its a scary time, but BPAS are totally the people to speak to in order to try and get your head round it and decide what to do. Very best of luck whatever your choice!

[Hasle157]

Hi,

I'm currently 36 weeks pregnant with our little surprise baby and when I found out initially, I was as frightened and bewildered as you are. My career had just begun and I'd taken on loads of responsibility at work. My partner and I had been together for 6 months and we work together, we lived in seperate houses and had met each other's parents a handful of times.

Now, we live together, we have a strong support network around us who are all really excited for us on both sides of the family and the few people who haven't been supportive just don't matter at all. We worked out our money, I registered with a new GP when I moved in with him and took early maternity leave when work got too much.

Life throws all sorts of surprises your way at the strangest of times, you'll find it hard now and then but embrace it.

You'll do it.

Congratulations! xx

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

If you decide this is the right thing for you, you'll do it. You don't have to though. It's very early days so there's time for you to think, talk and plan. Good luck.

[goatsocks]

Thanks so much everyone. Your help was incredibly valuable. Just in case anyone was wondering, have spent the last couple of weeks thinking very carefully and talking, and yesterday decided to go ahead with the pregnancy. Utterly terrified but boyfriend actually seems to be excited... so I'm hoping it will be ok

[TheXxed]

Good luck!!!