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Yikes - just found on pregnant with twins

(17 Posts)
Getmetothebeach Tue 01-Apr-14 13:32:55

We were thinking about a third child and, following an early scan, have just found out i'm expecting twins. 4 children. Gulp. I work full time, am wondering how we're going to cope etc. etc.

Can anyone give words of advice? Top tips? Experiences with twins pregnancy on the NHS?

Any comforting and encouraging comments v welcome indeed..

mandbaby Tue 01-Apr-14 14:05:34

I'm currently expecting DC3 and was so relieved when I was told there was only one in there, so I can undestand your shock!

My next door neighbour has 4 children - the youngest two are twins. Admittedly, she is a stay at home mum, but her children are amongst the nicest, politest, most intelligent children I've ever come across. Her husband works away all week and is only home at weekends so she's practically doing it all herself - and she's clearly doing a great job, so it's obviously "doable".

Do you have family close by who can help during the very early days until a routine is established? How old will your other two children be? Can they be involved in some small, simple tasks to help out and feel included?

I suppose it's all about being organised and prioritising too. When my DC3 comes along, I'm going to make sure that DH does his share with the newborn so that I can spend quality time with DS1 & DS2 so that they don't feel pushed out.

I can't offer any other advice and certainly have no experience of twins, but lots of people manage and I'm sure you will too. Congratulations soon to be mummy of 4!

slightlyinsane Tue 01-Apr-14 14:18:41

Hi, do you know what sort of twins your having, it makes a difference to the amount of scans etc you'll have. I already have 3 and I'm 29wks with id twins. We have fortnightly scans because of this. Give yourself some time to take it in. I think I've been through all the emotions possible. Twin pregnancies are hard much harder than singleton. At 29wks I'm measuring 36 (not convinced it's not bigger) but even though it's 36 I'm struggling with everyday things I didn't with a singleton at full term. I'm sat here wondering how I can do my nails (toe) as I can't flipping reach them. From other posts people tend to have to start maternity leave a lot earlier as the tiredness and size put restrictions on you a lot earlier. I'm sure there are some comforting and encouraging things I could say but for some reason I can't think of anything right now.
The care I have received so far has been ok, frequent and the scans are reassuring. My community mw also sees me every once in a while to catch up as all my care is done at the hospital. Let me know if you have any questions, your sure to have plenty going round your head very soon. Congrats x

EeeekItsTwins Tue 01-Apr-14 16:05:09

I'm the same - twins on the way and will have 4dc.

Twin pregnancy is definitely much harder work, especially in the later stages, so do plan to stop work earlier, get help with other kids etc.

Maybe find out if you have a local twins group - I've found mine helpful for advice and support about twin stuff that i didn't have to think about with singletons.

Congratulations!

hayesgirl Tue 01-Apr-14 18:36:47

Also pregnant with non id twins - 30 weeks. Much harder than my first singleton pregnancy! I always wanted 3 but hadn't envisaged them at the same time - my dad (who has 6 children) told me that once you have 2 all the ones that get added into the mix don't make a massive difference... I am clinging to that advice! Lol!
You'll cope because you don't have a choice and after a while it will seem normal to have 2 babies instead of just one! How old are your other 2 children - with any luck they will be able to help out and get involved.
Congratulations though, once it sinks in properly I 'm sure you'll be fine! I spent a few weeks stressing and worrying but now i'm really excited about their arrival!! : )

Getmetothebeach Tue 01-Apr-14 19:58:12

Thanks for the posts. My other 2 children are 5 and 3 (girl and boy respectively).

I am just majorly freaking out about all of this - health, practicalities of coping with 4 when both me and my husband have long hours, stressful jobs, financial etc. just feel completely overwhelmed.

neversleepagain Tue 01-Apr-14 21:38:54

I had DCDA twins in 2012, they are 18 months now.

I had excellent ante natal care on the NHS. I was seen every two weeks (a scan followed by a consultant appointment or a midwife appointment). I was scanned every 4 weeks and saw the same consultant throughout my pregnancy, he also delivered my babies.

Congratulations, twins are fab!

Sweetpea86 Tue 01-Apr-14 21:46:37

I can't really give you any advice but congratulations

Your a women you will cope smile

Lovely news x

WhatsTheWordHummingbird Tue 01-Apr-14 21:49:59

Oh wow, big news!!

Ive got my 12 week scan in a fortnight and my first concern after actually being pregnant at the scan is whether there will be one or more in there. Its dc2 for us and it will make a major dent in our lives if its two babies.

However we would manage and we would be happy. Just tired and skint haha

MissSmiley Tue 01-Apr-14 22:30:14

Hi I had twins in my third pregnancy. Our others were 2 and nearly 5 when they were born. I found the pregnancy much much harder after two fairly easy ones. I ended up on crutches and couldn't walk far after about 27 weeks. I had loads of help from my mum and in the end a full time nanny too. My dh works at home too so that helps. Routine is what worked for us. It helped that our babies were born at term (38w 5d) and were both the same size (7lbs) but things can be v different if you are expecting ID babies or have babies that are prem. I had a year off work and went back to work four days a week. (For a rest). I had a moment where I gave the nanny notice that I wasn't going back to work but I soon came to my senses and she stayed and I continued to work.
Four is no harder than two IMHO. My second was a shock to the system but the twins just fitted in.
Getting preg by accident with number five now that was a shock!

justhayley Tue 01-Apr-14 23:02:08

It's a massive shock. Iv got an almost 2 year old and in October found out I was expecting twins. Unfortunately I lost one but went into total panic mode at first.
You will cope and although there will be days like any parent you'l feel like your cracking up you'l have something so special. My friend has 8 month old twins & says in a way they are easier than her singleton as from day 1 they learn to be less demanding etc as of course they have to wait sometimes.

You will be fine.
Xxx

Getmetothebeach Wed 02-Apr-14 08:47:27

Thanks so much everyone for your words of encouragement. I just need to give myself time (without overthinking! ) to let it all sink in and stop worrying about the logistics.

Here's to a healthy, straightforward twins pregnancy. Gulp.

ghostinthecanvas Wed 02-Apr-14 08:53:29

Congratulations flowers

lifelorn Wed 02-Apr-14 11:03:40

Congratulations! I had my first 2 children 20 months apart - it was hard work each of them requiring different things from me. My first two were 5 and 3 when the (unplanned) twins were born.
I was very well throughout the pregnancy and was induced at 40 weeks! (I did not know I was pregnant until 20 weeks and involved in an extensive exercise programme so still wearing normal clothes).
Twins were so much easier than the first two, each eating and sleeping at the same time and the 5 year old loved being very involved and even now 35 years later he remembers this as a very happy time.

neversleepagain Wed 02-Apr-14 12:18:54

Twins are not easier than a singleton smile A baby doesn't know to wait their turn, if they are hungry they wont sit patiently while you feed their brother/sister.

EeeekItsTwins Wed 02-Apr-14 13:37:07

In terms of tips, OP, give yourself time to get your head around it before you tell the world. It seems people always make stupid/thoughtless comments when you are preg with multiples, and I've found it worse because we'll have 4dc.

It's hard when practical strangers ask you if you've had IVF/ how old you are/ if you considered a reduction/ tell you you'll never cope/ you're life will be a nightmare/ never go back to work. I'm glad I had time to come to terms with the news first (and it took me a while) before being bombarded with people's opinions!

HHinde2014 Wed 02-Apr-14 21:08:22

Congratulations! I'm currently 28 wks with identical twins. They're our first, so can't comment on coping with four, or the differences between a twin or single pregnancy, but wanted to say hi and share a few bits and bobs. We joined Tamba - have found their site and resources incredibly helpful, and they also do twin specific antenatal courses (which are quite pricey) and less formal "seminars" run by parents of twins. We went to one of these - only a fiver each and so informative / reassuring. They have a "for sale" board where we've picked up some great bargains.

On a lighthearted note, I read "extreme parenting - the triplet diaries" early on which, although the circumstances are different have me a really positive outlook (not that we weren't delighted - just a tad apprehensive and felt we had so many questions!)

The One Born Every Minute book on twins - a gift from my SIL - was also really helpful.

Careful with what you google as there are scare stories aplenty regarding twin pregnancies and sometimes I felt absolutely petrified. Now I just feel excited.

As for stupid comments...well...I try to see the funny side. I get "are you sure you're having twins because your bump is tiny" on a daily basis. When you're worried your babies are on the small side this can be infuriating but the fortnightly scans we've been having have helped a lot (plus given me pictorial evidence that yes, I am pretty sure there are two!)

Congratulations again x x

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