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Worrying constantly....

(8 Posts)
LolalaBouche Tue 01-Apr-14 09:11:56

I'm on here because I'm at home, alone, and obsessing over my pregnancy.
This is my 7th- all others ended in miscarriage at 4/5 weeks. I'm now 5 weeks and taking cyclogest and aspirin and do feel ok- none of the usual spotting YET- but I am in a state of total anxiety. Waiting for the hospital to call re an early scan, which they won't give me until 8 weeks. So I have 3 weeks of anxiety ahead, and the gynaecologist intimated that this could be a contributing factor to mc.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Any happy outcomes to cheer me up? Or safe stress- relieving techniques?(I'd usually have a lovely long bath but dare not).

Boop33 Tue 01-Apr-14 09:22:59

Oh I really feel for you . Haven't got lots of advice but didn't want to read and run. I am on my fourth pregnancy and have one daughter who is 16 months. This pregnancy is progressing well but after after 2 miscarriages last year i was very anxious and as soon as i got spotting and bleeding feared the worst . I had to wait 3 days for a scan (as was 9 weeks) and that was bad enough . I do totally understand why it is better to wait until 8 weeks but can also understand how you must be feeling . Please try and stay positive in the knowledge that there is no reason to think this pregnancy will end in m/c at the minute. How are you feeling otherwise ? Any symptoms ?
I had bleeding and backache and when we went for the scan everything was fine i am now 14 weeks and still going strong -you can have happy outcomes after multiple m/c and i hope that you get your happy ending !!!

isitme1 Tue 01-Apr-14 09:26:30

Sorry I have no advice just hand hold and bump so someone with more advice comes along x x

squizita Tue 01-Apr-14 09:33:11

Congratulations! Now you are on aspirin it should definitely help (I'm now at week 16 after recurrent losses, so it DOES work!!). flowers It bloody sucks and I'm still going nuts 16 weeks in. There is a great "posifrickentivity" thread on pregnancy boards for us women - do join us! smile

So I have 3 weeks of anxiety ahead, and the gynaecologist intimated that this could be a contributing factor to mc.

NOT true, according to most experts. And potentially a cause of guilt and pain. angry Have you read 'Miscarriage' by Lesley Regan or 'Coming to Term' by Jon Cohen, or read up the Miscarriage Association papers? Both should reassure you that it is a psychological symptom caused by the losses not a contributing factor. ESPECIALLY as you are on aspirin ... which means a treatable clotting condition (completely in line with your symptoms) - so he's found the reason already!
In addition 'TLC care' (the medical cure for the anxiety) is early scans and constant reassurance ... so I would challenge your consultant for identifying what he thinks is a risk factor then NOT treating it. Telling a woman not to be scared is incredibly ignorant, it will just terrify her more!
This makes me so angry, in all honesty I would speak with PALS if he refuses to give you early scans yet has told you it's a risk: in essence if he thinks it's a risk it is his duty to reassure/cure it: NOT YOURS TO DEAL WITH ALONE. I find gynies 'intimating' utterly cruel tbh.

At St Marys, I have been offered CBT, without question or judgement and I was told repeatedly it would not risk my baby, this was for my mental health after the trauma of my losses.

givemeaclue Tue 01-Apr-14 09:38:59

Op I was massively anxious throughout my pg, 4th cycle Ivf. My gp signed me off work for the first trimester I was so worried. Could you pay for a private scan to put your mind at rest rather than wait another 3 weeks?
Having said that, although scans brought some peace of mind it was short lived and by the next day I would be back to worrying, if I could have been scanned every day if I could have been.
It is very tough. Hope all works out well for you.

Mezzaluna Tue 01-Apr-14 09:44:33

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. If it's any help I'm exactly the same... This is my 5th pregnancy, previous ones have mostly ended around week 6/7. Today I'm 9 + 3. Still struggeling with the anxiety every single day. Had 2 scans so far at 6+5 and 8+4, and for the first time ever seen a wriggly little bean with a healthy heartbeat. There is hope! Although not out of the woods yet. This is my first medicated pregnancy, on cyclogest and aspirin from bfp, prednisolone and fragmin as well from about 5.5. Hoping the drugs are helping and that this one makes it. These weeks have been slow agony, but I find it easier if I'm busy, we have moved house and I try to meet friends etc as often as I can as it helps my anxiety. Home alone is the worst... Also long walks - fresh air and exercise will do you good. I really hope this is the one for both of us. Hang in there, keep popping those pills smile also try and see if you can get a scan around 7 weeks, by then should definitely be able to see a heartbeat. I'm still stressing, but seeing life has been massively reassuring. My EPU is now giving me a reassurance scan every 2 weeks. Feels like ages in between, but it does help, at least for a few days. Take care, best of luck! X

sunshine1991 Tue 01-Apr-14 10:59:22

I was the same when pg with dc1 didbt help i had spottog but i regert worrying it didnt get better after 12 wks or 24 wks but i wish i enjoyed it ur a mummy to a 5 wker be kind to urself and the wee seed worrying wont help just make it a hard ride x

HopefulHamster Tue 01-Apr-14 11:04:57

You can get some private scans as early as 6 or 7 weeks - I agree though that you shouldn't have to do that.

The anxiety is completely normal. You are used to having something taken away from you over and over and it is just shit and unfair. But chances are this WILL NOT happen this time, considering you are on medication and being looked after.

When I've been stressed in this pregnancy, I mostly retreat to sleep (I have become expert at napping on the couch) or reading comfort reads (ie easy lightweight crime stuff) on my Kindle. You have to find what works for you x

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