Advanced search

Need some advice about a new pregnancy - 2 to 3?

(19 Posts)
yabam Mon 03-Mar-14 21:37:48

Hi to everyone out there,

I've never been on here before so not sure how it works. Hope I can work it out.
I just found out that I am 4 weeks pregnant with baby no 3. I know I should be over the moon but I'm quite nervous. It wasn't planned and whilst we had thought about another bubba, I had only recently decided to definitely stick to two. Ha ha, and here I am with no 3 on the way.
I know that I should feel happy and privileged to be pregnant again but we have had an awful couple of years and I'm not sure that I will be able to cope with a 3rd. I am currently a 39 year old stay at home mum with a 4 year old girl and 2 year old boy. We have no family nearby to help us and I already struggle with caring full time for my kids. I'm just finding the stay at home role a little isolating and was thinking of going back to work but I'm now pregnant. My husband works away a lot and my mother in law is not well and requires increasing support. I also get a bit low during my pregnancies and whilst I'm determined to seek support, it does make me a little nervous.
I guess, I just need some encouragement. How did all you mummas out there cope with going from 2 to 3? Has it been as crazy as it seems to me at this time? Ha ha. Any advice is welcome.

Much appreciated.

LJBanana Mon 03-Mar-14 21:45:45

Hi there,

I'm currently 37+4 with number 3. I have 2 boys 5 +3. I'm at the uncomfortable stage of wanting baby out but fearing the total chaos that those first few weeks bring.
I usually work so I'm in mat leave however my partner works away from home constantly, doing contract work for weeks at a time often in different countries. So although I do have other family support, I am remaining in denial about how difficult it's going to be.
I don't have any pearls at all, jut throwing it out there that you aren't alone in feeling slight dread.

yabam Mon 03-Mar-14 21:56:52

Thanks ljbanana. Wow, you must be neatly there. Hope your keeping well. I reckon most mums must feel like this at times. I'm sure the thought is worse than the reality. Or at least, here is hoping. Ha ha. Here is to not being alone, it certainly helps to know that. How did you manage through the pregnancy? All the best for bubbas arrival.

Pregnantagain7 Mon 03-Mar-14 22:16:41

Hi my third is now five months and I was worried how I would cope. It really wasn't that bad the first few weeks were tiring but my older two were so good with the baby. Will your eldest be at school by the time the baby's here? Also maybe a couple of mornings at nursery for the younger one if you can will s/he be entitled to their free place by then? It's a bit of a juggle but so so worth it! My heart melts when I see mine laughing together now smile

CrispyFB Mon 03-Mar-14 22:17:15

I actually found 2-3 the easiest step by far. I think it's because with two babies you're already at the worst it can get (no napping when baby naps, always got a little one to look after) so what is one more? Especially when you know what you're doing and a lot of the guesswork and insecurities are no longer there.

I agree with you about the whole having to put off going back to work thing, but once your older two are at school/pre-school childcare becomes a lot cheaper so it may not be as unaffordable/impractical as you think to go back sooner than you imagine.

I'm due DC4 any day now, and have similar age gaps to you (just over 2 years for each) and no family support within 8 hours. And get SPD etc from early on so mobility is an issue from about 4 months for me. It is doable, honestly it is, or we wouldn't be having number 4 (definitely the last!) now!

As this one wasn't planned, be kind to yourself to give yourself time to adjust mentally though. Even though all ours were planned, it's normal to have feelings of "WTF am I doing?" smile

Pregnantagain7 Mon 03-Mar-14 22:17:47

Hi my third is now five months and I was worried how I would cope. It really wasn't that bad the first few weeks were tiring but my older two were so good with the baby. Will your eldest be at school by the time the baby's here? Also maybe a couple of mornings at nursery for the younger one if you can will s/he be entitled to their free place by then? It's a bit of a juggle but so so worth it! My heart melts when I see mine laughing together now smile

Pregnantagain7 Mon 03-Mar-14 22:19:18

Sorry not sure why that posted twice! Can you tell I'm new too!smile

BurnstonesBabies Mon 03-Mar-14 22:47:37

Hi ladies, I'm 30 weeks pregnant with number 3 and already have two girls, aged 6 and 4 (who are soooo excited about being big sisters!) I hummed and haahed for 4 years about having another but was still surprised, shocked and very emotional when I got pregnant this time.
I've done a lot of worrying about the logistics of having 3, the age gap, the effect on my elder two and it's scary going back to the baby stage just as my other pair are getting quite independent.
I work 3 days a week and hope that after my mat leave that I can go back and do the same. My DH works away quite a lot too but we've managed before, and I'm sure we'll manage again.
It took me quite a while to get excited about this pregnancy and all these 'issues' are still popping into my head on quite a regular basis, but I hope they'll just melt away once our gorgeous little newborn is in my arms.
Hormones have a lot to answer for don't they?!

LJBanana Mon 03-Mar-14 22:50:50

Thank you. I think I have had every pregnancy ailment going this time around after dodging most the previous times- Sod's law when you can't have a little skive this time as you've 2 others to look after!
There has been times when it's been really tough, constant sickness,heartburn,spd, working,partner away blah blah blah. But I just keep thinking it's not forever, this is the last time you'll do it and ultimately how lucky I am to have 2 healthy boys already (complete with 2 fully functioning voice boxes and limited volume control). And another baby on his or her way.

MummyPig24 Tue 04-Mar-14 06:28:04

Hi. I'm 38+2 with number 3. I have a boy of 6 and a girl who turns 4 in a few weeks. This pregnancy has not been easy. I'm only 26 but I have felt 56! No problems as such, just bad morning sickness for 16 weeks (over the summer holidays) and feeling very tired. I'm sure I'm growing an enormous baby!

The children are excited and it's nice to hear them chatting about it. I'm a little anxious about managing school runs and things like that but I'm hoping we will all take it in our stride!

yabam Tue 04-Mar-14 08:45:03

You know what, I feel a lot better for reading all your comments. I was freaking out last night and I really felt like I wouldn't be able to cope but reading all your messages makes me feel much much better. I think I can do this now. I just wish I had started this a few years ago so that I could move into my forties with all kids at school. Ha ha, but as someone noted, the kids do grow up fast and I will just make sure that I take all the support I can get. It's also still early days so let's see how things progress. Either way, I'm feeling much better thanks to all of you. Thank you, thank you. Xxx

Pregnantagain7 Tue 04-Mar-14 10:05:44

Glad you're feeling more confidant yabam. You really will be fine the first few months will fly by in a whirlwind of milk and nappies as I'm sure you remember!

I just need to get my head around being pregnant with my fourth when the youngest is only 5 months! smile

Grannyapple Tue 04-Mar-14 12:56:12

I am the exact same as you yabam...I'm currently 7+ 2 with DC3..DC2 (DD) is just 7 months & DC1 (DS) just turned 3. This pg wasn't planned either & I was in complete shock to be honest when I found out...kept crying when I thought about it for 2 whole days. But DH was great & his first reaction was a giggle & then he said we'll manage somehow..

Which I'm sure we will...we too don't have family close by (we're from Glasgow but now live in London). I was just getting my head back into returning to work mode (due back on 23rd April when I'll be 14wks)...& was looking forward to getting my career back on track & getting my house back after all the baby paraphernalia...I even gave most of it away to my friend who had hers in January..

But most people I've spoken to have said going from 2-3 was far easier than going from I'm praying they're all correct!

I'm hoping that by the time I'm hopefully going back to work, DS will have started school & then only 2 for childcare to worry about...but will cross that bridge when I come to it..

So I know exactly how you feel & will be in the same boat as you

<waves to pregnantagain7>

thereisnoeleventeen Tue 04-Mar-14 13:33:10

Congratulations! Our DC3 was a surprise (originally we always wanted 4 but decided to stop at 2), I was very worried, in the end he slotted in very nicely. By the time you have done things twice before you can really relax and enjoy the baby bit.

I also used it as an excuse to get really really organised, I signed up for Ocardo, got a dishwasher and took loads of short cuts. I also trawled through this thread from the larger families board, the theory being that things that work with families with 4+ DC's were bound to make my life easier, it worked.

The only thing for us with 3DC is that it made us want a 4th all the more!

Pregnantagain7 Tue 04-Mar-14 14:39:11

Get granny fancy seeing you here!;)

Thereisno- go for it I say apparently once you get past 3 it's plane sailing he he!

Pregnantagain7 Tue 04-Mar-14 14:41:35

Duh plain sailing! Pregnancy brain!

yabam Tue 04-Mar-14 14:47:43

Hey pregnantagain7, I'm sure you will do just fine & keep up with the support on here. It's so much better to talk to people who are going through the same thing.

Granny apple, thank you. I'm from Glasgow as well & now live 3 hours away. Mind ya, I don't have any family that could really help even if I lived nearer. All busy with their own kids. It's certainly good to know that i ain't alone.

Thereisnoeleventeen, wow, a number 4. I would have gone for that if I'd stArted ages ago. Pushing it now. It seems that so many people are saying 2-3 ain't too bad so here's hoping. Thanks for the link, I will certainly check it out.

Yer wee stars x

mandbaby Wed 05-Mar-14 09:58:00

I'm in the same boat. I have two sons aged 4 and 2.5 and my hubby really wanted a third. I was just so happy with two and worried how I'd cope with a third. Hubby was so sure about having three that I decided I'd let fate decide, so we just had one try, and hey presto, DC3 is on its way. I'm only 11 weeks and still haven't told anybody (other than DH) yet, so it hasn't really sunk in and I'm still terrifed about how I'll cope. My eldest will have JUST started school when DC3 is due, and my youngest son will be 3 and will be entitled to 15 hours nursery care a week, so that should help.

I can't offer any advice, but you're not alone, and LOTS of people out there have 3 or more children and cope just fine. I've tried to convince myself that only the lightweights stick with one or two grin Haha!

My neighbour has 4 children - the youngest two being twins - and her husband works away all week and only comes home at weekends. She has no family close by and copes all by herself, and by the looks of things does a brilliant job. Her children are lovely - very bright, able and polite.

MummyPig24 Thu 06-Mar-14 07:43:26

I always wanted 4 but there's no way I can do another pregnancy. I'm in so much pain right now. At least I don't have long to go and then the fun really begins!

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: