Any ones else totally baffled after first midwife appointment?

[EmilyJane86]

Saw the midwife today for the first time. I'm now even more baffled than I was before. Think next time I will make notes

[eurochick]

I had my first midwife appt today too. What are you baffled about?

[icklekid]

I remember mine was long and lots of form filling but they were very clear about what they were asking and why- I had a student do my booking in so I guess she probably had to be clear to show she knew what she was doing (a MW was there as well) Did you take away your notes? These should contain everything they went through?

[EmilyJane86]

I understood what she was asking. I'm an adult medical staff nurse so I got the majority of the jargon. I just hoped things would be a bit clearer after my visit but didn't feel that way. I guess it's coz I'm only in my seventh week. She just kept going on about how it's not a viable pregnancy yet. She tried telling me my blood pressure wasn't low as well it was 89/40 I felt like I was going to faint. I knew it was low before I even had it taken. I'm probably just being over sensitive. When did you have first bloods and urine analysis done?

[EmilyJane86]

Also kept referring to me as an interesting and exiting case....referring to my past history of depression and anxiety ha found it a bit odd...also kept telling me she was very niave whilst asking me about my drug and alcohol past lol

[GeraldineFangedVagine]

89/40 is low! A trigger in my trust. I think its hard if you are a nurse to stop thinking clinically, im having the same problem. I suppose most patients, if not all, that we see are unwell wheras pregnancy is generally a positive and healthy state.

[icklekid]

First bloods and urine samples were at that first appointment. I think it sounds like your midwife wasn't very sensitive especially considering history. How is it helpful to say its not viable yet?! Sorry you had such a poor experience could you request to change?

[toadmum]

oh dear - I agree with icklekid sounds like you got a very insensitive midwife. I had some problems conceiving and other past problems which midwives have been very sensitive about. I'm 28 weeks pregnant and have seen 3 different midwives! Can you ask for a different midwife or maybe see her again with your questions?

[mel0dy]

Sounds like your midwife hasn't really dealt with any real people! Was pleasantly surprised at my first one, although I found her tone a little bit patronising, she wasn't phased by the bits of depression and mild drug use in my past, asked a few open questions to get more info and positively reinforced by positive attitude. She was however very disorganised and rubbish at taking BP and bloods. I can live with it though, was given all the knowledge I needed!

I can imagine if I'd worked in any bit of nursing I would have been a bit irked though -having worked and managed people in customer service I can get very sensitive to people in this area getting the basics wrong.

[mel0dy]

*my, not by

[EmilyJane86]

She's actually referred me to the drug and alcohol team lol as I had a year of drug and alcohol abuse about three years ago. I only drink socially now....well not touched a drop since found out I was pregnant and never touch drugs. I felt this referel was pointless really. Maybe she doesn't believe me that I'm clean now. I would t be drinking at all during pregnancy.

[EmilyJane86]

She seemed really awkward discussing drugs. She was nice enough and thorough just made me feel a bit of a freak. Felt like asking her to come spend a day on an adult medical ward to Open her eyes

[EmilyJane86]

Sorry won't be drinking at all*

[22honey]

Emily Jane thats why I was just economical with the truth when they asked about drug and alcohol past intake. I told them it was all teenage experimentation, I dont have a drug problem but had smoked cannabis in the last year recreationally (much prefer to drinking but obviously not doing anything now!) and just told them I hadnt for several years. As far as I'm concerned its none of their business unless someone has an addiction problem that could affect the baby and the mothers parenting.

I am not particularly trusting off the system when it comes down to this sort of thing and don't want to give them any excuses to recommend a future social services referral or like you be sent to unnecessary drug treatment (which can be used against you if you don't go). Ridiculous to refer you to the drug & alcohol team if you havn't got a problem staying away from substances and don't need help.

[mel0dy]

22Honey I was the same - prefer smoking to drinking, obviously stopped when TTC. I honestly answered " a bit of weed" when she asked about drugs in general. She just asked when last time was, I said "oh last summer some time" and she left it at that, then quite happily ticked the "no" box as my answer to "any drug or alcohol problems in the house". No one's mentioned it since so pretty happy they've stuck to the promised confidentiality. The catchment area for the health centre includes a bit of a dodgy area so I assume they get far worse in all the time, may be Emily's MW is just ridiculously sheltered!

[EmilyJane86]

Oh I'm not worried anyone with brains can see I am fine now. My Doctors notes had this information on is so she could see it. I have always had an open an honest relationship with my GP. She is amazing and I see her regularly for mental health check ups. The midwife has referred me to the mental health team too, I'm happy with that. I suggested it. I have started cutting down my antidepressants so will be nice to have some extra support.

[EmilyJane86]

Lol I think she should go have a wild weekend sometime...go to a festival or something.