Wicker Crib Advice please...(20 Posts)
Good morning mummies and mummies to be,
I am seeking advice on a slightly awkward issue so will cut to the chase...
My MIL has offer DH and I a family heirloom in the guise of a 34/35 year old wicker crib/moses basket for what will be the families first grandchild. My initial response was thank you that a lovely thought, however, i'd prefer to purchase a new crib and bedding for our first baby. However MIL is somewhat insistant that we should use the basket and she will "make" new bedding to fit it so that junior wont be a "beige Baby" (given we didn't find out sex and everything else in the nursery is Neutral)
I should have just stuck to my guns and politely declined but not so easy with my MIL i'm afraid and she has now managed to transport said crib from a relative down south back up North.
Obviously we will purchase a brand new matress for crib, but concerned that this bad boy has remained in a dusty loft or potentially even a garage for the last 30 years, I don't feel it would be safe for my baby??
Can anyone offer any advice on the safety of using an "Antique" crib, if I can show reasong why we shouldn't use it maybe I can avoid any offence or conflict?
We had exactly the same situation.
After a thourough clean and airing I wasn't worried about dust etc but the spacing between the bars didn't meet modern standards.
So, I used the heirloom crib downstaris in the day while I was watching the baby, but bought a new one for sleeping in at night.
It'll probably be fine, maybe put it outside on a nice day to air it and use the Hoover extension to suck out any dust. If you like the look of it use but if it's butt ugly tell her thanks it's a lovely idea but you don't really like it. Not everyone likes the same stuff and if she doesn't get that then that's her fault, she'll get over it!
When I told my nana I was expecting 1st ds she said ooh I'll have to dig out the old christening gown! I'm not in the slightest religious and have no intention of getting my children christened so luckily the issue will never be broached. She's a chain smoker too, can you imagine how yellow and rotten it would be after 30 years in that loft! x
We are using my old whicker mb, it was my brothers before me so is over 40 years old, and was used by cousins etc in the mean time. It never occurred to me to worry, I just bought a new mattress and got a friend to make new lining for it. I think it's lovely to use a family item like that. Oh and it's massive so ds fit in it till 8m
Was going to say the exact same as AntandBee. We had the same situation, and after cleaning it and buying a new mattress I still wasn't happy, so we chose to use it downstairs for daytime quick naps, and bought a new crib for upstairs sleeping at night. Hopefully your MIL would be happy with that solution?
thanks everyone for advice, will just see what the crib looks like and make a decision then! les fingres crossed!
Not quite as bad but when I used a second hand Moses basket I sprayed it with anti-bac, showered that off and let it dry outside in hot sun. Sun has very good germ killing and freshening powers.
sooooo i've been shown the crib and put in a really awkward situation!
there are a couple of broken spindles - not sure what the weave is called, and it has no liner so MIL wants to take me shopping for fabric to make one! it needs a new matress - a given and in all honesty its a bit tatty.
It was then revealed that this crib was bought second hand from a car boot 35 years ago! so now feeling even less enamoured with it.
I should have thanked and politely declined the offer but was completely put on the spot in a room full of family, "are you happy with the crib then?!" "oh yes i said, its lovely" why didn't i just say it wasnt suitable! now i'm in a whole heap of awkwardness, i'm too polite for my own good!
Bit different to your situation but ds slept in the same wooden crib that his dad slept in 30 years previously. It had been handmade by dh's grandpa though. And we bought a new mattress and new bedding. And it was in perfect condition.
So I would go with another posters suggestion of having it downstairs where you can keep an eye on your dc but buy a new one for upstairs and night time sleeping.
Tell your MIL that you told your midwife all about the lovely Moses basket but she said it was a SID risk and as such she was adamant you should not be using it! It actually wouldn't be recommended so your not lying to her your just doing the best for your baby. Does your dh/dp know how you feel about it?
I wouldn't be happy putting my new baby in it either if its a bit shabby, old and been reused time and time again! It doesn't sound like the safest option.
How oftern do you see MIL - can you ask that she keepit at her house for when you visit and just use it then? or could you have an 'accident' and have your other half 'fall' on it???
My step sister used her family crib/moses basket for her first baby 3 years ago (her and her siblings had all slept in it as babies) - in feb both her and her brother had new babies within a week of each other. because her brothers was due first he was offered the crib and said yes, his girlfriedn none to happy about this and tore herself up about it for months before her baby was born flitting back and forth saying she would use it then that she would not.
In the end she did not and it was carted up the country for my sister to use (she really wanted it).
What she did do however was have her son photograohed in it at Grannys house, this seemed to help.
personaly I would not want to use it (probably wont be offered to me anyway as I am step, phew). It is old tatty and just not something I would want.
Have you seen the cribs that attach to your bed? I think I will get one of those at the time - this would be a good reason not to use the crib too!!
We have a similar situation, OHs mum has borrwed a moses basket from her friend. I was told it was a crib as that is what we wanted so was surprised it was the moses basket when we went to collect it, she had obviously gone to the effort to get it, wash the ( vile frilly) covers and BLEACHED the mattress so we didn't need to buy a new one ! so we took it home. I have since found a second hand crib which we wil tell her we have been given by my family and therefore she can return the crib to her friend as we wont have room for both. we would have hidden it and pretend to use it otherwise ( may still have to do this !). good luck finding the best way out it is tricky when family want to help but get it 'wrong'.
At the end of the day it's YOUR baby, and family traditions are all well and good, but not if it's something you're not happy with, regardless of sentimental value I would not ever put my baby in a worn, damaged bed. Your MIL is not going to reject your baby because of where it sleeps, she might take a bit of offence but sometimes that's life and he will have to lump it! If you don't feel comfortable refusing to her face then send a text and say something like 'I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, and thankyou for the offer,but I would really like to buy a new crib, this of course is of no reflection to my feelings for you, I would just like to but a new one'
You could accept it if you don't want to hurt MIL's feelings but you don't have to use it at all. Just get it out when she comes round and tell her that baby hasn't been able to settle in it.
Say you wanted to show a friend the lovely crib and you accidentally ran it over.
Present her with a pile of crushed wicker and a sad face.
I would second what another poster said about saying due to risk of SIDS etc and really sorry but you are not taking any chances. And be firm - because you need to set the ground rules now with her over such things, otherwise you will have her telling you she knows best forever more with your kids. My MIL - while very lovely - is very 'forceful' to say the least. She even tried to change our first dance song for our wedding (I am not kidding...). Both myself and DH told her to back off a bit and while she was offended at first, it was the best way. Now the baby is on the way we are re-treading a bit of old ground - I feel for you. She told me our choice of pram (a BJCS) was far too small and a terrible idea, and went on and on and on about it in the shop to us and the poor shop assistant. I was mortified! But I stood my ground and she looked a bit weepy leaving the shop since I would not get the 'bed on wheels' system so beloved in germany - obviously her idea to push first grandchild about in - but tough titties!!
She also wants to share a travel bed with our newborn and her other sons current gf 1 and half year old - which I have said a flat no to. She kept saying 'I will wash everything, you wont know the diff' but unfortunately a, you can't wash the sides and mattress (!) I have seen how the gf treats her children in terms of cleanliness and I feel really uncomfortable about the whole thing - she leaves vest on with stripes of poo that have overspilled underneath if it isn't 'that much' and wet vests sodden with milk, or leaked wee, or large clusters of food etc, picks dummys up from street straight back in mouth, covered in grit etc etc - snot all over the place, she is a wonderful mum, just her standards with this stuff is very diff to me - and therefore I don't want said child wiping hands etc all over cot and then putting my newborn in it. And of course there is the issue with the mattress too.
We had a right stand off about it, but I have held firm. It is still a bit ongoing TBH - I have now said we shall buy our own travel bed and keep it with us, and bring it over as and when required. This battle isn't fully over though - exhausting - so take a tip from me - keep on with it, use SIDS as a back up (I do and was laughed at and told DH slept on a 40 year old horse hair mattress and he is fine.... luckily DH got quite cross and said its new research etc etc!). Get DH to back you up too. Battles of wills....
p.s. I should have said - other sons gf - obviously she treats them also like her grandchildren, but it is a fairly new relationship and both children have full sets of grandparents so they are being careful not to confuse them and manage the blending of the two families etc.
We put our 40 year old wicker Moses basket into a bath of Milton and then into the sunshine to dry. Came up lovely!
I made neutral bedding and had a mattress custom made (it'll be too large for modern off he shelf Moses basket mattresses).
Super lovely, and both mine fitted in it for months!
ok, so DH had the conversation with MIL about the crib... we are the proud owners of a brand spanking new moses basket! yay!
shes said, dont worry I'll use the wicker one to put plants in! honestly - you can't make this stuff up! ha ha
Thank you everyone for your input into my trivial dilema!
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