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Pregnancy

Having one of those days

12 replies

HelgatheHairy · 12/04/2013 13:46

Where I just want to sit on my arse all day drinking tea and eating biscuits. I'm 23+5 with my first and having a really easy pregnancy to be fair but I'm having a day where everything just feels like too much. Been talking to my mum, Dad and Aunt who are lovely but worry about non- issues and drag me into it, poor dog just wants me to play with him but gets jumpy when I do (I have walked him). Anticipating a minor row with DH as we need to go food shopping later but I've only meal planned 3 days and he won't give any opinions on what to have for the other days. He just says I'm too awkward with food ( I've gone off chops)

So just had a little cry and going for a shower now. I know these are all extremely stupid things but please don't have a go at me, I'm feeling fragile.

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babyradio · 12/04/2013 14:23

It's fine to have these days. I'm 32 weeks with my first and have been exhausted all the way through which obviously affects mood. My boyfriend lives too far away to offer me much support and I didn't get much sympathy at first from parents who thought I was just 'being arsey', until they realised it was really becoming too much - and it started to become too much around 23/24 weeks. Have a chat with your midwife if the crying is a regular thing, even if it's not in fact. As I said to mine, I expected to cry over tiny things, but I should be able to stop myself from crying too, and I can't.

Instead of worrying, when your husband gets in just ask him to give you a cuddle and tell him how you feel. I underestimated the power of a simple hug and not being able to get that from my boyfriend is one of the hardest things about being apart. Tell him you feel like you're overreacting but that you need his support. He probably is frustrated and wants to help but doesn't know how so to him keeping a routine (meal planning etc) is the best way to keep normality. I had to explain really calmly to my parents that I simply could not think about the number of things I used to think about in one go, it was too stressful for me to plan an entire week in advance for example.

Sorry this is so long, hope you feel better soon!

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HelgatheHairy · 12/04/2013 14:30

babyradio thank you so so much. It's just the fact someone properly understands. I have to go out now but on the verge of tears cause you have been so nice! Thanks.

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rrreow · 12/04/2013 14:37

I think it's totally normal and acceptable to feel emotionally fragile, you're pregnant after all! Sometimes stuff just gets you down, hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Urgh I hear you about DH not interested in providing input on mealplans (but then has no qualms complaining when it's served to him.. grr). I'll share my mealplan for this week with you, hope that helps take the stress out of things or at least provide some inspiration:
-Leek & Bacon Risotto (based on www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/827639/leek-and-bacon-risotto)
-Tuna Niçoise (based on www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/9529/winter-tuna-nioise)
-Mash, sausage, steamed broccoli & gravy
-Chili con Quorne with baked potato (using Quorn mince instead of meat mince)
-Ham & Courgette pasta bake
-Vegetarian spaghetti bolognese (again using Quorn mince)
-Quorn coconut curry with aubergine (onion, Quorn pieces, coconut cream, teaspoon of garam masala or curry paste. Chop aubergine & roast in the oven, add to sauce when done. Serve with rice).

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rosiedays · 12/04/2013 14:53

there is a saying in Arabic.... yom Assel Yom Bassel.... it means Somedays are honey, Somedays are onions.... about sums up pregnancy for me!!! (and i'm having a relitivly easy one!)

rrreow fab post... shopping list done!!

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HelgatheHairy · 12/04/2013 16:13

rrreow thanks for that! Going to put risotto on the meal plan (mushroom) and the other 3 days can sort themselves out! To be fair we both cook so paella is on the meal plan and he'll cook that. It's just the complete lack of input sometimes.

babyradio that must be really tough being apart from your boyfriend. To be fair DH is pretty good with me when hormones take over. Hard to describe but he talks to the hormones and usually manages to get me laughing.

rosie I love that saying.

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MummyBurrows · 12/04/2013 17:44

I know exactly how u feel and I'm only 13wks! Its my second baby and I've felt completely drained off all energy for a good 3wks now but that may also hav something to do with chasing round after a 3yo,a hyperactive 6mo kitten and my dh! As for meal planning,I can't even think let alone plan what I want for dinner tonight let alone get a whole weeks worth planned out so ur doing better than I am lol! I've not had rhe crying thing but its still early days.

Hopefully ur dh will understand that ur guna hav days like today and perhaps suggest he takes u out for dinner or orders a take away as a special treat one night so there's only 2days where u hav no dinners planned for now?

I agree that a good hug/cuddle can lift moods and make u feel better so make sure u get a big one when ur dh gets home :) xx

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quertas · 12/04/2013 19:29

Tell him to cook dinner himself. He knows where the kitchen is I assume?

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barbben · 12/04/2013 19:54

don't feel stupid, i think every pregnant women had one of these days, i know i have.
my secret is not to fight it, all you want is tea and biscuits? so that's what you should have. and stop answering the phone :)

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Queazy · 12/04/2013 20:23

I can relate to your post! I had a meltdown this week and could happily have quit work. I'm hoping it calms down soon - I'm only 21 weeks - but not sure that's going to happen. I think we just need to take it easy and not expect too much of ourselves. I cried for 2hrs in the bath last night and almost stopped breathing for tears at a funeral today...I figure this is all normal as long as it doesn't continue for days on end. Hope things get easier. Take care xx

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HelgatheHairy · 12/04/2013 21:19

Thanks all for helping me feel more normal! Well we got through the shopping! I don't want to give the wrong impression of DH, he does more than his fair share of the cooking (more than me if I'm being fair). It's just the deciding WHAT to cook is the problem!

I did get my hug - after the dog got his belly rubbed!

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babyradio · 12/04/2013 23:22

Mans best friend...

I'm glad you feel better :)

You kind of just have to go with it and try to laugh, your hormones are going nuts. If you feel at any time you're not coping, tell your midwife, all they want to do is help.

I've currently got a small childs arse pressed against my ribcage and I'm so uncomfortable, the only way I get through it is to laugh that at least HE is bloody happy. takes after his father

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HelgatheHairy · 13/04/2013 14:14

Just in case anyone comes back to this thread, I thought this was funny this morning.

DH commented that my bump seemed to be getting bigger by the day and most people as far gone as I was didnt seem to have such big bumps! So after a quick "thanks honey for telling me I'm huge" he said "it's just your, what, 4 months?" "No, I'm 6 months gone" and DH wanders off looking sheepish!