Dark thoughts when preggers - how to cope...

[upsetandpreggers]

Have namechanged.

Am 7 months pregnant. Just scared myself. Was scrapping the floor in the bathroom - yes I know I shouldn't be doing that - and when I got up had the most searing pain in my crotch area for a couple of seconds. I am guessing it was cramp. Laid down and baby still moving about a lot in normal way, so hoping I haven't done it any damage.

However, my immediate thought was that I'd killed or brain damaged the baby - which I am not sure is the normal/rational reaction.

My thoughts are increasingly getting darker. I keep thinking about DS, DH and other family members dying, often in really horrible ways (not that there necessarily nice ways to die).

The other day I thought "It would be easier if we all (me DH, DS & baby) die in a car crash together, so none of us have to leave each other". I wasn't contemplating crashing the car myself, but the thought flashed across my mind.

I am not due to see a consultant (am under hospital care) for another couple of weeks. And if I am honest I am concerned about admitting to these thoughts.

Just told DH (who is v supportive in general & encouraged me not to scrap the floor again) the extent of my thoughts and he looked really scared & doesn't really know what to say.

I do suffer from a level of anxiety normally, but this is something else. I am finding feeling miserable all the time really wearing too, prior to pregnancy I was generally a happy & optimistic person.

Has anyone found a way to manage this?

[IJustWoreMyTrenchcoat]

Didn't want to leave this unanswered, I am so sorry you are feeling like this, please talk to your Midwife or GP about your feelings, don't suffer in silence. It is good your partner is supportive, but you can get professional help. Could it be ante-natal depression?

Hope someone who can help will be along soon xx

[IJustWoreMyTrenchcoat]

Didn't want to leave this unanswered, I am so sorry you are feeling like this, please talk to your Midwife or GP about your feelings, don't suffer in silence. It is good your partner is supportive, but you can get professional help. Could it be ante-natal depression?

Hope someone who can help will be along soon xx

[butterflyexperience]

Hi

I get dark thoughts too sometimes and I think it's a way of how I cope with being very emotionally overwhelmed.
If your finding your having them more and more please do speak to a gp/mw

You can get depression on pregnancy

[purrpurr]

I'm 8 months pregnant and have found my anxiety and overall mental health has plummeted recently. I'm dealing with it by being busy and doing things that are rewarding. Today I put plants in four new big tubs in the garden, which was work I could do whilst sat on my bum easing the little plants into the soil, very relaxing, my brain sort of switched off. Then later, I cooked a big batch of cottage pie. Peeling and chopping all the spuds and various veg, then following the recipe in the kitchen, then doing the mash and putting the pie together at the end, again, that sense of focus and achievement, with not much brain involvement required.

Tomorrow I plan to wash my car (my DH is appalled but I'm not going to go at it like I'm on a timer, if it takes an hour, it takes an hour) and I'm going to hoover. I also need to re-do my nails.

I now instinctively avoid things that make me feel ill mentally, so I don't allow sitting around, I don't have baths, I have showers, I don't read books, I don't spend too much time on the internet. I force myself to socialise. I make up 'busywork'. Would any of this work for you?

[bonzo77]

You must speak to your MW or gp. The way you are feeling must be very scary, though a degree of anxiety is to be expected. I was feeling much like you do, and accessed some counselling through my midwife. The anxiety actually became crippling once the baby came (DC2) and my gp put me on sertraline. Honestly, it's brilliant, and I wish I'd been on it during my pregnancy, and for years before that!

[katesav87]

Hi I totally have been in your shoes im 32 weeks pregnant and have had some darkened thoughts but mine were bad when I wasn't pregnant I used to think ill just jump over the side of this bridge now and horrible thoughts like that. I kept thinking one day I would go mad and hurt myself and ppl around me. I would def agree that u should see ur gp I did and am on anti depressants and I also had therapy and my therapist told me so many ppl have these thoughts it's just ppl never talk about it and if they r just thoughts they are harmless it's wen u carry out these thoughts it's not right. Please don't be scared to tell ur gp about this they can help u and u can feel urself again. I feel so much better after getting help. Sending u lots of hugs and postive thoughts I know how these darkened thoughts can take over ur life xxx

[upsetandpreggers]

Thanks for the replies and reassurance.

I am working from home a lot where we are having building work which I think isn't helping as the place is dirty and I cannot relax easily with the builders around.

I will go to the GP. If anyone else was posting I'd be saying the same to them, I am just worried about taking meds etc. I really have hated this pregnancy but I need to get this in check now, I don't want it to lead onto PND etc.

Thanks again for your time & support.

[shellshock7]

I think it may depend on whether you are dwelling on these thoughts and if they are affecting your moods...since becoming a mum I am much more aware of my own and families mortality and morbid thoughts cross my mind, but I dismiss them and they have no long lasting effect on me. I have always thought this was a normal change as there is now something in my life bigger than me iyswim

[katesav87]

Glad u will go see the gp. I agree see someone now before baby's born so u can be urself again and enjoy ur newborn DC. It takes a strong person to admit something is not right alot of ppl just push it to one side but it can be sorted and u can keep these thoughts under control with a little guidance from ppl that can help.