Hormonal and hate work

[Queazy]

Hi

I'm 18 weeks pregnant and the endless politics, long hours and relentless pace at work are really getting me down. I want to just walk out but obviously can't, and the plan was to return when the baby is 10 months old. I'm starting to hate it so much that I'm worried im going to just lose my temper and give up because I'm so tired and hormonal. I'm starting to feel really down.

I work 55-60 hours per week, feel undervalued, and just want to run away...! We need the money though so just left feeling trapped and unhappy.

It's a real hero to zero culture and worried they won't have me back anyway. I've hated jobs before but it feels like this time I'm really trapped. I'm only on statutory maternity pay but need the pay.

Sorry for my rambling. I just wondered how others coped or are coping with pregnancy and being busy and unhappy at work.

Thanks all

[Lydia161290]

I didn't cope with work at all. In fact, I got that fiercely depressed, that when I had a day off I couldn't face getting out of bed. I worked nights which killed me even more. I too felt trapped. But, in the end, it was my health at risk, so I cut my hours and told my partner to stuff it because I was sick of crying everyday. Now i'm not working.

55-60 hours is a lot. You need rest in pregnancy to keep stress levels down. Personally, I wouldn't go through that stress again, even if you paid me.

[Lionsntigersnbears]

Hi Queazy,

know the feeling and sympathise. I've hated my job for a good long time so I can understand. Do you have to go back to this job after the baby is born? If not it may well be worth keeping your head down and seeing how things pan out when you're on maternity leave. I did find that going back to work after having DD changed my perspective on the job a lot. I've since dealt with the politics by breezily ignoring it all, largely as I'm too flipping tired to be bothered! To be fair though when on ML I did learn to value some aspects of my job I'd previously underrated, like being able to buy a nice coffee and drink it all, hot, in less than 30 mins, rather than making an instant coffee at breakfast and finishing it around about The Archers . Seriously though it seems this would be a bad time to make any major life changing decisions if you can avoid it. Can you negotiate some time off/working from home/using up annual leave etc to give yourself a break. Your hours are very long!

[Queazy]

Thanks so much for replying! I've tried to factor in the odd day of annual leave here and there to make it more bearable, and trying to stop working at weekends unless urgent. I don't want to go back to work there but going to have problems finding part-time work without a big pay cut. I agree with you though - its not worth it in the end! Your messages have really helped to give me back some perspective. Thank you!

[Dh2812]

Hi Queazy,

I sympathise! I felt very much the same way. A suggestion would be to save your holiday and go as soon as possible. I was also planning to use holiday to take a few days off here and there, and towards the end effectively work part time by using my holidays. However, I came back after my first days holiday to find a mountain of emails and a 'crisis' had occurred in my one day off! I was more stressed then if I hadn't taken the day off, so I decided to buddle all my holiday up to take before ml (i'm now going several weeks before i had initially planned). This has really helped as I just keep counting down the weeks until I leave if I get stressed. Good luck

[Kelly1814]

Oh Queazy I so feel your pain. My job is much the same, 12-14 hour days, very stressful, pressured, the more it goes on the more i think this really isn't important, but i need the money so i can potentially not work after the baby comes.

to top it all off i live in a country where maternity leave is 45 days! so i will be working up until my die date...hence trying to stockpile money like a squirrel now as working after 45 days is not appealing to say the least.

what i am trying very hard to do is make home a real sanctuary - when i get through the door at 8 pm, i go into relax mode and have some little rituals......have a shower, get pj's on, light a jo malone candle, watch something i like on the ipad, read a book...dim lighting and low music etc. i also try to ignore the housework!

so far this is helping massively and i cannot wait to get back home at the end of each hellish day to my little oasis of calm.

hope things feel a bit better for you soon xx