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Help i'm unsure what to do with my pregnancy?

(10 Posts)
loo30 Tue 15-Jan-13 13:06:31

I'm 31 and today found out i'm pregnant with my 4th baby this is a shock as was on pill and used condoms as extra precaution and still somehow it happenes!! i already have 3 boys with my husband and would love a girl but what are the chances after 3 boys plus if i have this baby it means a new house new car and we are struggling now money wise and those sleepless nights again i was looking forward to getting some me time this year getting fit. Me and my husband said if it happened we wouldn't have it but now it has happened i'm really confused?? And my mum knows she has said she wouldn't speak to me again if i killed it (in her words).. And we have friends who are desperate for a baby and cant conceive i feel so guilty for even thinking about it but i dont know if i could cope!

Longfufu Tue 15-Jan-13 13:13:50

Sorry not much advise, just wanted to give you a <<hug>> and say do what is right for your family. Your mum is being mean- it's not her choice.
x

loo30 Tue 15-Jan-13 13:17:34

Thankyou i agree with you about my mum x

Becky2406 Tue 15-Jan-13 19:13:43

Iv just found to I'm pregnant with my 4th my husband doesn't work just me i work evenings and at 4weeks ish I'm already exhausted my mum will be so disappointed in me will be so angry with me and worried I'm so scared !! But for me a abortion is not a option I just couldn't the most I'd do is take the morning after pill
I truly hope you figure it out good luck x sending hugs

loo30 Tue 15-Jan-13 20:01:06

Told my husband he doesn't want the baby. What do I do its now my marriage that's at risk is it all worth that???
And then my mum not speaking too me.

TwitchyTail Tue 15-Jan-13 20:18:14

Deep breath and take your time. How far along do you think you are? If you just found out today, hopefully you still have a few weeks to make a decision.

It's none of your mother's business. It's a shame she has reacted as she has but I would not let that influence you either way. If you do decide to terminate, you could simply tell her you lost the baby and leave it that. She doesn't need to know how you lost it.

It's probably a shock to your husband as well. I'd give both yourself and him a few days to get your heads around the situation, and avoid involving anyone else unless you are sure they will be non-judgemental. Discussing the pros and cons calmly - even writing it down - might be helpful. Try and imagine how you might feel in five or ten years - would you regret terminating, or would you regret keeping it more?

I have no specific advice as it's such a personal decision, but I wish you well.

lovemybabyboy Tue 15-Jan-13 20:43:12

I was in a similar situation beginning of november, DH was really upset and not happy at all when I found out I was expecting, he did not talk to me for a few days and that upset me more. I was also very very scared as I had just returned to work from mat leave, I was scared at what my mother/family would think, and I was terrified about the whole work situation.
Anyway abortion was not an option as it is against DH's religion. As time has gone on my DH has come round to the idea and feeling less worried and so am I, also now that we have had our dating scan and have seen baby it makes it more real and we are both feeling happier. I am still worried about how I will cope with another child (this will be DC3) but I am still just 14wks tomorrow so have time to get used to the idea!!

I would say (if you are just very early on) just take some time to think/talk about the situation, once you both have time to think about it you might change you mind and you might not but at least you will know that you are making the right decision whatever that might be. And I agree that you could tell your mum you are keeping baby and then say you lost it, she doesn't have to know.
Wishing you all the best.

loo30 Wed 16-Jan-13 14:04:17

I'm only about 5-6 weeks. I chatted with my mum today and she has come round and agreed to let me and my husband sort it whatever we choose. I just wish my husband would take a bit of time to think about it as we have time but He wants me to sort app out asap but I need time Im not sure.

Chunderella Wed 16-Jan-13 20:16:00

It's not your mother's decision. I agree, you could always tell her you miscarried if you terminate, or that it was a false alarm. Your friends have nothing to do with it either, although I wouldn't tell any of them just in case- would probably cause them unnecessary and avoidable mental anguish. I take it you've done more than one test just to be sure?

loo30 Thu 17-Jan-13 20:29:44

Yes done 2 but having 3 children I know I'm pregnant feeling sick all time sore boobs tired. But I've come to a desition I'm going ahead with the abortion I watched our wedding video and it reminded me of what I've already got. And I've decided I'm going to see about getting sterilized so this cant happen again.

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