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Having a toddler makes me feel very 'unbroody'

(16 Posts)
Cbell Thu 20-Dec-12 19:58:23

OK, I may have invented a word 'unbroody' and if you know a better one please correct me.

It's just that I'm 9 weeks pregnant and have a 2 year old DD. She is fantastic, demanding and utterly delighted in herself. She marches around the house shouting PLAY, DANCE, NAKED (she's a streaker) and wants all of my attention. As a tiny baby she was easy. She didn't start every sentence with the word NO. Stayed where I put her and had a milk only diet.

The thought of having another baby should be lovely but honestly I'm quite scared. I don't feel glowing and maternal. I feel tired and fed up of playing bloody doctors/ trains/ camping...

Anyone else having similar anxieties?

CuriouslyChristmassyColaHam Thu 20-Dec-12 20:15:33

I'm 14 weeks pregnant with a 13 month old ds. The fear has definitely started to kick in. No real advice, just wanted you to know you aren't alone.

mamalovebird Thu 20-Dec-12 20:19:29

Know exactly how you feel. I am 15 weeks pregnant with a 2.11 year old DS.
He is a whirling dervish in this house. The thought of 2 fills me with dread.

Although I did think of a new baby last week and raised a smile so I know it's in there somewhere.

How near 3 is your DD? DS will be 3.5 when new baby arrives so I'm hoping he'll have calmed down a bit, as he's much better now than he was 6 months ago, with tantrums etc.

KelleStarOfWonder Thu 20-Dec-12 20:33:06

me too 23 weeks tomorrow with a DD who was 2 on tuesday. [we're you in the december 2010 birth group... recognise your username]. She is so full on sometimes I look at my bump and wonder what kind of chaos I have signed up for. I've spent 18 weeks puking at the smell, sight or even taste of random things that would never have had me heaving. Exhausted as she has just boundless amounts of energy and I just cannot keep up with her and a little emotional and find myself crying or shouting over silly things.

Mine is also a streaker, naked in a few seconds it seems, you blink and she's starkers, running about the freezing house shouting excitedly, NAKEY!

When I see other mums with a baby and a toddler that can't cope but probably can, but the snapshot I've seen is worrying. The mum shouting incoherent demands at the toddler, stop that, don't, no etc while jiggling a crying baby... makes me almost cry. But I also see snapshots of many mum's coping really well, so it kinda balances out.

At bumps, babes and toddlers she was being very very nice towards a little baby and it makes me think that there is hope.

PipIsOutNow Thu 20-Dec-12 21:36:45

I'm another one filled with dread! My ds was 2 in July and I'm 34 weeks now with ds 2. Ds1 has already told me he doesn't like the baby in mummy's belly which is kinda awkward considering he'll soon be a permanent fixture in the family! I've had a crap pregnancy this time round which hasn't helped at all but in all honesty ive had such a crap time that I'm seriously thinking that a newborn and a toddler is going to be much easier than spd, contractions all day everyday, a massive bump, not being able to breathe/sleep coz of massive 4 weeks bigger than it should be bump and a toddler! I just can't wait to get my body back.

brainonastick Thu 20-Dec-12 21:39:46

On the bright side, she'll be over 2.5 when the baby is born, which is a pretty good gap (eg for fetching nappies for you etc.

Being with child and with toddler is hard work though. Have a brew

sw11mumofone Thu 20-Dec-12 22:53:43

God i could have written all these posts! I am 30 weeks pregnant with a 2.6 year old DD. I am suffering from insomnia so coping mechanisms are zero and currently potty training DD so have been pretty much confined to the house most of this week. Im so tired i cant think straight and I feel so bad because i cant summon an inch of enthusiasm for the impending arrival. Im sick of being pregnant but dreading having to cope with a fabulous but opinionated 2 year old and a newborn! I feel drained and terrified!!!!

tinyshinyanddon Fri 21-Dec-12 04:02:07

This made me laugh because dc1 and dc2 play together now (5 and 2.5). Makes me feel left out so I have to ask to join in. But I do remember some long days playing forts with dc1 at 2y and wondering what on earth I would do when dc2 arrived.

TinkyPeet Fri 21-Dec-12 08:19:48

Room for me in the boat? Lol, got ds who's 6 and was fabulous as a baby/toddler, still is now! Absolute angel, then I have devil dd at 2, I'm 10 weeks and PRAYING this one will be another boy! Haha. I'm all chirpy thismorning though as she goes to nursery on Fridays lol!
...she's not all bad, she can be sweet when she's asleep wants to, but lets say she's very demanding and leave it at that, I'm sure your imaginations will do her justice lol x

Mylittlepuds Fri 21-Dec-12 09:34:40

Yep me too! DS 19 months, i'm 22 weeks pregnant. Focusing on lovely cuddles and not sleepless nights!

explosioninatoyshop Fri 21-Dec-12 13:40:30

Yep yep yep! Felt just like this at the start of this pg (2nd). DS1 is gorgeous and lovely, but exhausting and hard work and I have much less patience atm, which makes me feel guilty when I end up snapping at him. Am feeling more maternal now at 27 weeks, esp after spending a long wkend with my SIL and her gorgeous DD2 5 months old - reminded me of all the wonderful things about having a gorgeous cuddly baby again, rather than all the sleepless nights and days spent like a portable dairy which I had been focusing on! Still having some 'omg, what am I letting myself in for' days, but feeling more positive as arrival of dc2 approaches. I've also found it helps to have an idea of what you will do with DC1 when new baby arrives-my DS will still go to nursery and spend a day a week with my mum and dad, so I won't be coping with 2 of them 7 days a week! Hope you all start to feel better soon too! X

milkyjo Fri 21-Dec-12 15:49:11

I feel like I have not really focused much on the tiny baby inside and feel guilty for not doing so. I am 28 weeks. My 2 year old DS was a rather high needs baby, had reflux, on meds and horrendous eczema and I felt like I couldn't cope at times and I had mild PND until about 6 months. What am I going to do if the new baby is the same I don't know! Plus the added terrible two's and most likely raging jealousy from DS1! Oh well I'm sure we'll all cope, everyone tells me how lovely it is to have a small age gap... exhausting... but lovely!

Afrodizzywonders Fri 21-Dec-12 15:52:09

I've got a 2 week old and 25 month old, I felt exactly the same, spent the first week with new baby in tears....but it's getting better. Can't fathom how I'm going to manage in the New Year when DH is back at work, but you are all not alone.

What have we done???

Emsyboo Fri 21-Dec-12 15:53:40

Your def not alone I have a 23 month old and am 28 weeks pregnant last night was 5 th night in a row I was up cos of DS teeth and I suddenly thought how the hell will I cope with 2 waking each other up and needing my attention!
My friends with 2 and small gap seem to cope and love it although say they are knackered first baby was a massive shock to the system and a friend has told me its easier with second but harder with two as you know what to do and what to expect a bit but with a toddler it us hard. She did say it wasn't doubly hard.
You are still early on I felt awful first trimester sick and tired and all my broodiness ttc disappeared but it is back again just replaces with worry of not coping or not giving one of them enough attention but it is the job of a mum to worry!
Sorry couldn't be more helpful x x

milkyjo Fri 21-Dec-12 15:58:07

I must add that I was in the bath the other night, just me and bump and I got broody when I watched baby moving and kicking about inside. I think we just don't have the time to get broody because so much of our waking time is focused on a 2 year old! The bath was the first one in ages and I realised I haven't really had time to myself like this for maybe years!!!

Mylittlepuds Fri 21-Dec-12 18:22:43

My mate's DC is seven months and she's desperate to get pregnant now!!! Was th last thing on my min at that point. I'm struggling to get my head around having a 23 month old and new baby!

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