Baby blues ??(5 Posts)
I think I'm going out I my mind and although I don't deserve reassurance I really need some. I cheated on my partner in January after a minor break up (two weeks) I still class it as cheating. However at the start of April I found out I was pregnant and although I know my partner is my babies dad, since we got home I feel the urge to tell him what happened ! I can't stop thinking about it !! I feel like im not really here only in mind not in body. Even though I know it's irrational he's been so good and doesn't deserve this, I don't know whether to tell him or not, my only worry is that he will think that the baby is not his and ask for a paternity test (which he would be right in doing) but I just feel everything will be ruined after that and we are sooooo happy right now I don't want our child not to have a dad because of me and I can't bare to be without Paul I just don't know what to do ?????
Ok ok ok. . Try & calm down. It's very late at night, you've just had a baby & you're getting yourself totally wound up.
I dont know when your baby was born but I'm guessing not that long ago if you're experiencing the baby blues. It's only natural after having a baby that your head I'd spinning all over the place but I think this is a time for stepping back and assessing the situation.
You have a lot on your plate right now & this is the time to be enjoying your babymoon! You say you& your DP are really happy so why throw a spanner in the works? I think it's more likely to be a case of the extreme highs & lows of emotions that follow childbirth that is making you focus on this one minor 'indiscretion' & you've now focused so much on it that all your heightened emotions, hormones etc are blowing it out of proportion in your head.
I think for the time being you should firstly, get some sleep, secondly, try & put this out your mind for now & focus on your beautiful new baby & thirdly, if you do feel that things are REALLY getting on top of you & that your head is going to explode it may be worth while going to see your GP & explaining how you feel.
It is if course entirely up to you of you tell your partner but I think you need to take some time for yourself just now & not be too hard on yourself before you rush in to making huge decisions & announcements to your DP that could have terrible consequences. What's past is past, you can't change it now so learn from your mistakes, move on & look to the future with your new family.
Good luck xxx
OP I'm sorry you're feeling like this, it must be awful. But I would suggest you don't make any rash decisions about how to manage this tricky situation until you're in a better head place.
Dating other people after you've broken up with someone isn't cheating in most people's books, and a break up can be very hard to deal with so go a bit easier on yourself. You are confident that your partner is the baby's father. That's not going to change whatever happens.
If the urge to tell him is really overwhelming you, maybe a chat with your GP might be a sensible step, as chipmonk suggests. I'm not saying don't ever tell him, but do make sure it's a reasoned decision and not just part of the psychological fallout from the birth, it's an emotional time for him as well and the information might be very hard for him to process atm.
Youve started a thread on this four times now. Perhaps you should read all the advice given on the other threads
Take each day as it comes and today decide your not going to tell him. This is where friends become invaluable! Talk to your very trusted friends about it.
You haven't cheated on your partner. You are not lying to him, you are simply making the decision not to potentially hurt him and your baby!
This is you being very responsible and a very good protective mum.
Don't keep it inside if its driving you nuts but find a good healthy outlet such as a good friend. Talk to your midwife and your GP, be honest about the effects this is having
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