Things no one told me....

[bunnyrabbit]

Thought I'd pop my head back in to this board and pass on just a few things that might be useful..

Once you bundle has arrived you will be washing your hands constantly so stock up on antibacterial mosturising hand wash. Also buy some industrial strength hand cream and leave tubes of it everywhere as your hands will look like a fisherwives for the first few weeks.

Muslins are a girls best friend. They are well worth the money.

Velcro bibs are much easier than ties, but noisy when trying to remove from a sleeping baby. Pull over bibs are a b*y nightmare.

Buy yourself shoes that you can put on and take off when you have a hand full of baby.

Invest in a wirelss and handsfree phone and remember to take it with you when you change the baby!! The phone always rings half way through.

If you have a boy, never look away when he has his nappy off. He will wee even if he's just been!!

If you sleep naked, invest in some night clothes that you are able to put on with the light off. You'll need them for night feeds when baby is in his/her own room and for when the postman knocks in the morning.

and something I was told but ignored...

SLEEP WHEN BABY SLEEPS!! SD THE HOUSE WORK/WASHING/WASHING UP ETC. IT'LL STILL BE THERE IN 3 MONTHS TIME.

And it still is...

More later...

BR (Mother of adorable DS now 17 weeks)

[fairydust]

Anti bacterial wipes are brill -

I was also very concious about getting blood on the bed in hospital (silly i now realise) if you are the same pampers care mats are brill.

Maternity pads are crap - use always

buy tons and tons of bids they so come in handy

a bottle insulator was anther best friend of ours

[handlemecarefully]

• Don't buy an entire 'birth to potty pack' of cloth nappies (circa £300) until you are sure that you and baby get on with them - otherwise £300 worth of cloth nappies will gather dust
  
  
• When buying sleepsuits in preparation for your new baby, be aware that 0-3 months is not the smallest size (and in fact probably will be too big for baby until he or she is about 10 weeks old). Buy a few sleepsuits in 'newborn' size
  
  
• Be aware of 'babyshock' - you will have to sacrifice a lot of 'freedoms' when baby arrives and it can have wide ranging repercussions such as depression and affecting the quality of your relationship with your dp / dh. However eventually you do adjust and you learn to accommodate the life style changes

[lalaa]

Having a little one is v stressful on your relationship so make sure you communicate right from the beginning. Also, be kind and make allowances for tiredness.

You v. unlikely to get your weight down for ages - 9 months for me!

Your income is going to be affected for far longer than your maternity leave. (yes, I know - seems obvious now, but didn't think about it when pregnant!)

If you're not getting what you want in hospital, be strong and insist!!

Cooking and putting meals in the freezer beforehand really is a very good idea.

[SoupDragon]

Just to contradict HMCs post about the size of sleepsuits: Don't buy to many in a newborn size and don't wash or take the tags off them. You may end up with a 10b-er who won't fit!

Breastfeeding isn't necessarily easy, nor does it come naturally to all mothers. If you want to succeed you may have to grit your teeth and work at it.

Newborn babies are really noisey sleepers!

[adell]

Take ear plugs and one of those travel eyemasks to hospital as maternity wards are very noisy and quite bright at night.

Breast pads are very useful things if you have a baby boy, keep the jets of wee under control !

One of those lights that you turn on by touching the base and have three different light levels are great when you wake in the middle of the night for night feeds.

[handlemecarefully]

Soupy - true, but I understand the average birthweight is around 7lbs ish for first time mums (my dd was bigger at 8lbs)..so most new mums would need a few sleepsuits in newborn size if they are to avoid sending dh out on an urgent Mothercare mission on the day of the birth to stop their treasured newborn looking like Orphan Annie in clothes that swamp them!

[SpringChicken]

Don't know as haven't been there before but i have started buying and have got a pack of 3 newborn babygrows and a pack of 3, 0-3 months just incase.

Either which way, enough to get through the first couple of hours and then sending either my mum, MIL or SIL out on shopping spree

Good advise BTW.

[Beccarollover]

Dont buy too far ahead in clothes, just get what you need for first few days not only will lots of people buy you gifts but its nice to be able to go clothes shopping for your bundle when new seasons stuff comes out.

Breastfeeding really does get much easier

[pie]

Heres one for you the Jems, if you start buying clothes early bear in mind what season your baby will be born in. Those winter clothes may look soooo cute now but your baby maybe wearing nothing but a nappy for a few weeks and they'll never see the light of day!

Second Soupies tip about keeping tags etc on.

[pie]

You got there first becca

[SpringChicken]

Oh yeah - totally agree.
Not buying clothes as such, just a few plain babygrows, vests and sleepsuits to get through the first couple of hours until we obviously know weight, sex etc.

[Lisa78]

no-one told me how uncomfortable and plain bloody dreadful I'd feel for a week or two!

[bunnyrabbit]

and another thing no one told me...

About day 3 or 4 after the birth your hormones will kick in. It won't matter if..

you had the easiest birth in the world, (or a 3 day labour like me)

if your baby is angel child or devil incarnate

if you have a million pounds (we should be so lucky)

10 sisters to help you and a husband/partner sent from heaven, or you're a single mum with no support.

.. you will turn into someone you don't know for at least 24 hours.... you will do at least 2 of the following:

Be in denial. This cannot possibly be my baby! I'm not old enough/ready/responsible enough etc.

Cry lots (Oh yes, I was competing with Niagra falls.

Think that you'll never cope and wonder why you didn't realise it before.

Think what an awful mother you are and argue with DH/DP about putting baby up for adoption.

Take every piece of advice as a criticism of the way you are with your baby and your ability to be a mother.

Me? All of the above and more....

Of course, this is only in my experience, others may be different....

Be prepared, it's all in the mind and you come out of it after a day and wonder what hit you!!! I never want to meet that person again that's for sure.

BR

[bunnyrabbit]

Lisa,
Totally agree. No-one prepares you for how you will feel physically after the birth. ie. like you've been in a road accident!!


BR

[handlemecarefully]

bunnyrabbit,

Agree with those sentiments - also would say be prepared in worst case scenario for these feelings to last for several months. If you are lucky they might resolve in a few days

[Lisa78]

Oh yes - my MIL mentioned she had bottlefed hers (I was - am - struggling to breast feed) and WW3 broke out! That will teach people to SPEAK to me on day 3!!!!!!

[Demented]

HMC, you could try selling the nappies either on the noticeboard here, the nappy selling board at UKP or the Nappy Lady, secondhand nappies sell very well, many of them reaching about 75% of their original purchase price.

[Lisa78]

god yes, just like a road accident! I couldn't stand up straight, I was leaking everywhere and it really felt like I'd been beaten up!

[zebra]

Without meaning to sound like a complete pillock, almost none of the bad stuff in here happened to me.... but the sleep deprivation, that was pretty brutal, and it went on for 4 months!

[dot1]

the first 6 weeks are complete and utter hell. No sleep made me seriously consider phoning social services and begging them to take ds just for a couple of days so I could sleeeeeeeep!!!

[M2T]

Noone told me how common PND is and how many ways it can manifest its ugly head!

Surprisingly only 3 yrs later it was one of the 1st leaflets to be thrust into my hand at my booking appointment last week.

[M2T]

Dot1 - 6 Weeks??? Ds was about 6 MONTHS! Must buy whiskey for this next child.

[dot1]

He didn't sleep through at 6 weeks - I think we'd just about got over the shock of how flipping awful we felt by about then - although dp had PND so I completely agree with you about that - it was a real shock and something that hadn't really been covered in our parentcraft classes. Very scary but at least it was picked up early and dp was getting the help she needed by about 6 - 7 weeks.

[wilbur]

bunnyrabbit - right on re the crying - a m/w I know visits new mums and her first q is always "have you had your big cry yet?"

If you have lovely friends who ask if they can do anything - ask them to bring a lasagne or whatever for the freezer. It's a godsend if you didn't have time to fill the freezer before d-day.

[M2T]

Dot1 - I seeeee! That is true.... someone further down mentioned "Baby shock". What a brilliant way of describing it!

My PND went undetected until ds was 18mths old, I found Mumsnet and plucked up the courage to tell my GP. By that time the worst was over! My HV felt very guilty that she hadn't spotted it, but I had hidden quite well. They are going to keep an extra eye on me this time. So it definitely won't drag on like that ever again!