Pregnant and obese

[stabiliser15]

Just found out I am pregnant with DC2. Approx 6 weeks. My BMI is 45 and I am, obviously, extremely fat. I am 29. I am very fortunate to have excellent health despite this, and had a problem free first pregnancy and recovered very well and quickly from an EMCS when DD was born.

As I've never had any health problems associated with my obesity, I've never rarely considered it to be much of an issue healthwise. I sailed through my first pregnancy and recovery from DD's birth and so I didn't really give it proper thought guess I thought it would be ok if it happened very quickly before I had had a chance to lose some weight. However, now it has happened, I am ashamed and cross with myself that I am embarking on another high risk pregnancy which is down to laziness/greed and when I had fully intended to lose some considerable weight prior to having DC2.

What's done is done, I know, but my joy at discovering the news is very tempered by the fact that I am not as healthy as I should be. Obviously I intend on ensuring I am as healthy as possible now, by eating sensibly and exercising moderately, but I can't help but feel ashamed and concerned.

Anyone else in the same position or can offer some words of advice or their experiences?

[alessthandomesticgoddess]

I was in the same position. I was obese with both of my children and although I had a high risk pregnancy with DD1 (Polyhydramnios and SPD) it was fine. I intended to lose weight but I have only now lost my first 10lb and DD2 is 15 months old!

It's stressful but you can do this. Eat well but of the right foods. Eating for two is a myth. I actually lost a stone during the first trimester. Both babies were 9lb+ without GD.

[Ilovekittyelise]

congratulations on your pregnancy!

im on the other side of the fence to you - overweight, really want to get pregnant again, but really want to lose the weight first. other than being type 1 diabetic (which means my pregnancies will always be labelled 'high risk'!) my pregnancy was straightforward, other than terrible pelvic pain. i have it in my head that if im not such a fat heffer the next time around, it will be easier to move around and gain less weight (all works so well in theory, doesnt it?!).

in my first pregnancy i joined slimming world, for about two weeks. it wasnt really my thing, however, it is endorsed by the royal college of midwives; maybe if you did something like that, it would make you feel in control of the weight gain, and that you are doing something positive.

also, i dont know whether your GP could refer you to a dietician (or whether you would want to), again it might just help you devise a realistic eating plan or whatever, to keep things in control.

its good you intend to exercise, swimming and walking is great, and will really help.

don't feel ashamed you have the NHS there to make you feel bad , you are doing the right things, and you are being really strong and positive by facing up to it and taking responsiblity. dont let it spoil your joy. plenty of people have a 'high risk' pregnancy for whatever reason, and in reality all it means is that you get access to the kind of antenatal care that should be available to everyone (seriously, germans and americans would be shocked by how little monitoring, scanning etc that take place in the average pregnancy here).

[Celestia]

Gosh, I could've written every word of that myself! Problem free 1st pregnancy, recovered well from emcs. Now 8 weeks pg with a bmi of 45. I definitely have all the same feelings as you so can sympathise.

[Spiritedwolf]

I'm pregnant with my first and am more overweight than I intended to be too. My DH and I had been TTC for 5 years with no success, and I made a decision to focus on losing weight at the beginning of 2011. I lost about 6 stone between January and the Autumn taking me from a BMI of 53 down to 39. I still needed to lose another 6 stone to get near a BMI of 25.

We kept on TTC during this time, mainly because we didn't want to miss the opportunity, however unlikely. We didn't really expect anything to happen. My goal was to get down to a BMI of 25 and then go to my GP to ask for fertility tests and possibly help getting pregnant. So I had in mind that all this weight loss was going to result in a healthy pregnancy, but not until after I reached my goal weight.

So when I found out that I as pregnant, I was a bit upset (amongst the joy of realising it was possible for me to get pregnant) because I had expected to be out of the 'obese' category at least when I got pregnant as a reward for all that weight loss, and more able to have a low risk birth.

I put on about half a stone in the run up to Christmas and had my booking in appointment the day after boxing day which didn't help and my recorded BMI was 41 (grr). I lost the Christmas weight and more in Jan/Early Feb (with a bit of help from all-day sickness), and got down to a BMI of 38. I'm 21 weeks now and have crept back up to BMI 39, but I know I haven't been eating healthily the last couple of weeks so I don't believe I'm yet at the point where I'll just keep piling on the (baby) weight.

That said, as my husband tries to cheer me up with, I am at the lowest I was last year, and I am growing a whole person inside me as well! So I shouldn't be too mean to myself that I've gone up a few pounds.

I'm hoping to keep my weight down as long as possible just by carrying on the mostly healthy eating and moving more. Obviously it'll get to the point where I'm putting on eventually, but if I can hold it off as long as possible, hopefully it will be genuine baby weight which goes shortly after baby.

I'm hoping to get back into losing weight once I've recovered from the birth and established breastfeeding, aided and abetted by sling wearing the baby lots of places to keep me fit! I'd really like to not have my weight be an issue next time around.

That said, so far, all it has meant for me so far, is having to have a 10 min check up with an anesetist (sorry about the spelling) and no one has berated me about my weight. I think they acknowledge that I've been doing the right things in losing the weight I have done and I'm not eating enough to put on tons of weight during the pregnancy so they aren't too concerned.

I know you're disappointed that you didn't get your body into better shape for this pregnancy, I felt that way too. But you've done it before, and if you eat and exercise sensibly during pregnancy you can keep any weight gain down to genuine baby/baby-related weight.

Congratulations xxx

[stabiliser15]

Thanks for the messages.

Aless, good to hear you have made it through two pregnancies well.

Ilovekitty I did lose weight early in my first pregnancy just by being healthier than I have ever been, and at the end of the pregnancy I weighed almost the same as pre-pregnancy. I am very much hoping a new healthy attitude will ensure that I do not gain too much now. My real problem has actually been post-pregnancy. I work FT and have done since DD was 5 months old so I went straight from breastfeeding whilst eating a load of cake to back into an office where there is always cake on offer and a stressful job for which I need cake to survive. I am also sufficiently busy that I am very rubbish at menu planning and shopping and so take aways feature heavily. Annoyingly, I am actually very organised in other aspects of my life, not sure why there is such a fail in relation to food. But now I know I need to get organised.

I also tend to find dieticians extremely patronising - I know how I am fat, I don't need the basics explained to me (although clearly the knowledge doesnt always translate into the doing - but that is more of the "why" than the "how" and if someone could deal with that I'd bottle it and sell it - but that is a WHOLE other issue!). Perhaps I will give it a go with an open mind if it is recommended.

When I was pregnant last time, it helped that my main midwife was a large lady and so I didnt feel too judged. I also never once felt like a burden on the NHS or by anyone involved in my care, which was absolutely suberb, not even when my BP crept up a bit towards the end and I needed monitoring, or when I needed to have an EMCS and there were additional risks.

Celestia - congratulations on your pregnancy. Hope it all goes well for you.

Spiritedwolf congratulations on such epic weightloss and your own pregnancy. I definitely intend to amend my lifestyle and deal with the here and now, and think about the long term change in attitude that you have clearly managed and which I need to get. Am going to try and turn this into something positive, and use it to finally get a long term lifestyle change!

[Ilovekittyelise]

Hi again....yes i know TOTALLY what you mean about dieticians, i was thinking more of potential 'fresh persepctive' of someone decent (there is the odd one LOL) not to tell what to do, but to help with new ideas - it is amazing how condescending they can be - sometimes if you are just firm and say 'look, i know what a carbohydrate is, i know what a balanced plate should look like, just give me some ideas for quick healthy tasty meals'. actually, now im in the zone i have quite a few yummy tasty easy things that i do if you want any ideas?!

actually, i have started doing 'myfitnesspal' - and its amazing, all it does is keep a log of your calories and exercise, and somehow it makes you accountable but less obsessive if you know what i mean (im someone that starts a diet and then just descends into a weird cake daydream hell). i think i put on a lot after the birth too, breastfeeding never really took, expressed for about 5 weeks, then entered into a wine guzzling toast monster!

[Hoebag]

I'm in the same situation, Congrats and good luck. you seem to be doing well.

[york67]

Me too. BMI 40. Hadn't planned pregnancy but now thrilled. Before booking appointment with midwife I was doing really well with my diet and I think managed to lose a little weight.
However, at booking was handed this awful leaflet telling me about all the possible problem my obesity could cause. Since than I have really struggled to eat healithy as leaflet really upset me.
Incidently I am on my 3rd pregnancy. Was overweight with 1st and had EMCS due to fetal distress but recovered well. 2nd obese but not so much emergency section due to failure to progress. Again recovered well. Hope everything will be ok with this one and good luck to the everyone else.

[blonderthanred]

I have felt the same but agree there is not much I can do at this stage, doc said don't do exercise, just eat healthily and try not to worry. Midwife was nice too.

For the first time in my life I don't want to eat crap, just keep thinking about the little bean inside wanting its broccoli and bananas! (not together)

Good luck to all with the same worries & agree that treating people harshly is completely counter-productive; why do they think people overeat?