12 week scan on Nov 1st... any tips for managing anxiety?

[anicecuppatea]

Hello ladies, this is my very first post ever on these forums. I'm prompted to do so as i feel fit to burst with all this anxiety! My first pregnancy last year turned out to be a mmc - only measuring 6 wks 1 day at first scan - although a couple of days before the scan i'd had some bleeding so, whilst it was still devastating, it wasn't a complete shock. It's taken us almost a year to conceive again and i'm now 10 weeks along, with my first scan due in less than two weeks. I've had far more symptoms this time around, and no sign as yet of anything bad, but the waiting and worrying is almost unbearable. I know nothing and no one can click their fingers and make it ok for me, but just the process of venting my worries and writing down my fears seems like good therapy.

Wishing the best to everyone xx

[schobe]

Gosh, I remember how you feel so well - my equivalent scan was 5th Nov (though in 2007).

I was worried after the mmc but in a weird way felt that things were ok the next time. Not sure what to suggest apart from relaxation techniques, eg breathing, meditating, listening to music etc.

I tried to keep super busy and ignore what date it was, but I know that's hard. That pregnancy was fine though have had more losses since.

You could always ring up a private scanning place and pay to have one now just to end the waiting. Depends how anxious you're getting I guess.

Wanted you to know that I know how you feel at least.

[anicecuppatea]

Thanks so much schobe, it's reassuring to know that i'm far from being the only one to feel this way and i'm sorry to hear about your subsequent losses. It's a shame really that no one can prepare you for the rollercoaster that is trying to have a family.

i've contacted private clinics about early scans but the prices are unbelievably high and i just felt i couldn't justify it - even with how i'm feeling. But i may just have to give in...

will try to employ some relaxation techniques as you say and will try to keep busy.

Thanks again.

[sharond101]

After a mmc last year my anxiety levels have been very high throughout the 4 and a half weeks since I found out I was pregnant. My GP was very logical with me and it helped a little, he said that the viability of my pregnancy was decided at the point of conception and nothing I do or don't do now can change it. I the egg and sperm were strong enough and compatible I would get my baby, if not I'd need to try again. No amount of worrying can change the outcome. It can however impact on my mood and physical symptoms and blood pressure can rise and sleep can become a problem. Relaxing doing things you enjoy were his suggestions. Having fallen pregnant there is no reason it cannot happen again was his other claim although he also said that more pregnancies go to term than do not.

[DejaWho]

I had a MMC last year, preceeded by another MC before that - took us a year almost to the day to get pregnant again. Thankfully we've got into the miscarriage system at 2 losses and not three - so we've been getting reassurance and monitoring scans since 6 weeks now... even that doesn't help - I still tie myself up in knots before every single one that there's going to be something wrong - but it's normal to feel like that.

I've found that taking the view that I'm walking in to whatever fate's decided for me helps a bit, but not that much!

[anicecuppatea]

Thanks sharond101 and DejaWho. I think trying to be practical and logical about it must be the answer. Like i said in my original post, no one can make it right for me, it will either work out or it won't and like your doc said, the foundations have already been laid so it's largely already been decided.

Wishing you both all the luck in the world and that fate is smiling on us all this time around!

[sharond101]

aniccuppatea I totally believe in fate and that what is for you won't go by you. It is very hard though and in my experience even the people closest to me cannot understand my anxieties so it's good to vent of on here and have some folks who understand. I hope all goes well for you.

[dooscooby]

You could pop into the freak out room over in conception-full of ladies who are pg post mc. I found it helpful to be supported by people who understood/ were in the same situation. Wishing you all the best with the scan x

[anicecuppatea]

Thanks dooscooby - will check it out.