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having twins alone

(3 Posts)
twinnerves Mon 03-Oct-11 19:10:44

Is anyone else having twins on there own, seperated fro dh two years ago however he still comes for sex twice aweek but says he doesnt love me anymore and will never live with me again,divorce came through in august he just bought a two bed bungalow we already have a dd but he knew i was having twins and doesnt seem to think hed need more than two bedrooms, he says he wants to be at birth, but when he put dd to bed last night-she lives with me i started to have bh and he scarpered so not sure if hes gonna be much good, also now saying how does he know they are his, i love him, have done since i was 15 that was 15 years ago , and i have only ever been with him i keep thinking he`ll come back so i still let him in my bed. But im panickingabout being on my own especially through the nights with the twins, im 31 weeks so not long to go, anyone know what i should do?

NorthLondonDoulas Mon 03-Oct-11 19:30:36

Oh my love i feel so much for you! I really hate to say this as you are clearly still so in love with him but he sounds like he is just using you as and when he wants to and because you still love him and want him to come home he is taking advantage of your feelings and good nature.

Im sure you would love for him to come home and you never know when the babies arrive it may give him the kick up the bum that he needs to see what he has infront of his eyes, but at the same time it sounds like you are letting him have his cake and eat it. I think you should start putting your foot down more and see what reaction it gets from him - Dont make your self so available when he wants you.

I really hope that he will be there to support you when you have your little ones but maybe you should have a 'back-up' birthing partner just incase... a close friend, mum or sister? If you dont feel comfortable with someone that close to you being there you could always look into having a Doula. I have no idea where you are based but i have been a Birth Doula for the past 7 years, so if you would like more info about doulas, what we do and where to find one near you etc please feel free to PM me or send me an email to and i will do my very best to help you out and point you in the right direction.

I really hope things work out for you!

twinnerves Tue 04-Oct-11 09:21:12

Thankyou Victoria, i know im letting him get away with his behaviour but i have had offers of friends for birthing partners its just admitting i need someone else. im in york so abit far away from you, is there a website i could look into re doulas, think i need to get prepared now as not long left. in fact everydayi start to think they mightarrive even though its early i just hope they stay in there a few more weeks xx

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